Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The Venting Booth The Venting Booth

sahm is the new taboo

Posted by on Jul. 8, 2014 at 1:21 PM
  • 39 Replies
5 moms liked this
Times are changing.
Where single moms are considered the strongest. Dad's are followed by the words who? Or deadbeat. Divorce is at an all time high..

But... If your a stay at home mom who nutures her children, holds the house down with a million chores and acts that go unnoticed...
Suddenly your labeled lazy..
That because you don't make money you don't have a say.
.....

It's like you have to put your head down in embarrassment because your fortunate enough to be loved and blessed to be able to stay home and raise your children and create an safe and loving atmosphere.

Sahm... Anyone else feel this way?
by on Jul. 8, 2014 at 1:21 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 8, 2014 at 1:23 PM
1 mom liked this
New? It's been a few years now that sahm s must defend their choice to down lookers
abeltoddlermom
by New Member on Jul. 8, 2014 at 1:28 PM
That's very true, I guess until I became a mother two years ago I didn't really notice.
AliKatAK47
by Member on Jul. 8, 2014 at 4:52 PM
1 mom liked this

False. I've been a SAHM AND a working mother. People get far more flack nowadays for working. How many times, especially on here, are working mothers accused of not loving their children, or not being a parent to their children, or allowing someone to "raise" their children? More than I can count.  And from personal experience, I've never met a SAHM that WASN'T lazy. One I know has a house of horrors that is so filthy I don't know how people survive in there.  Since becoming a SAHM even I've become lazier.

Mommabear81312
by Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 11:19 AM

Wow. Took the words right out of my mouth. Thank you! 

CrystleCorry
by Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 11:52 AM

Ive been both as well!! I think the only women judging working mom's are SAHM's. Just because we're not as lucky as you to be able to stay at home doesnt mean we love our children less. In fact I would say it means we love our children more. Because im willing to work 40+ hours a week to be able to give them everything they want. So I have respect for both roles, however,


I will say this:


Your job as a SAHM is NOT harder than mine is as a full time working mother who is expected to work a full week, attend to work from home after hours, AND still have all the resposibilites as a mother, cooking, cleaning, cuddling, taking care of boo boo's. 


ESPECIALLY if you are a SAHM of school-aged children. Like, seriously wtf do you do all day? Your kid is at school for at least 8 hours a day!! Wow, your right, it's sooo much harder to stay at home cleaning and watching soap operas all day than it is to be at work "ignoring my children" and being a "horrible mother who puts herself and her money first"



No, I am a strong modern woman who is determined to have a balance life of work that makes me feel like i have worth outside of being a mother, while still being able to give my children all the love an attention they need. I guess you could say, Im a SUPER MOM

Quoting AliKatAK47:

False. I've been a SAHM AND a working mother. People get far more flack nowadays for working. How many times, especially on here, are working mothers accused of not loving their children, or not being a parent to their children, or allowing someone to "raise" their children? More than I can count.  And from personal experience, I've never met a SAHM that WASN'T lazy. One I know has a house of horrors that is so filthy I don't know how people survive in there.  Since becoming a SAHM even I've become lazier.


kamandkadesmom
by on Jul. 9, 2014 at 11:52 AM

I feel being a SAHM is the most rewarding and demanding job! i loved it but I was ALWAYS doing something, and the kids always needed something and something always needed to be cleaned or cared for or paid or cooked. Far from lazy. I Now work and i Miss my babies incredulously! I only work every other week 8-5. but it feels like 12 hour shifts! Cant wait until I back at home doing what I love best!

kamandkadesmom
by on Jul. 9, 2014 at 12:01 PM

 I do agree that being a mom to school age kids seems alot easier, and I too am a working mom. One week I work and the next Im off so I get the best of both worlds. I know tho whatever I do, I love my kids immensely and they are always my priority whether Im at work or not! So I respect both roles as well.

Quoting CrystleCorry:

Ive been both as well!! I think the only women judging working mom's are SAHM's. Just because we're not as lucky as you to be able to stay at home doesnt mean we love our children less. In fact I would say it means we love our children more. Because im willing to work 40+ hours a week to be able to give them everything they want. So I have respect for both roles, however,

 

I will say this:

 

Your job as a SAHM is NOT harder than mine is as a full time working mother who is expected to work a full week, attend to work from home after hours, AND still have all the resposibilites as a mother, cooking, cleaning, cuddling, taking care of boo boo's. 

 

ESPECIALLY if you are a SAHM of school-aged children. Like, seriously wtf do you do all day? Your kid is at school for at least 8 hours a day!! Wow, your right, it's sooo much harder to stay at home cleaning and watching soap operas all day than it is to be at work "ignoring my children" and being a "horrible mother who puts herself and her money first"

 

 

No, I am a strong modern woman who is determined to have a balance life of work that makes me feel like i have worth outside of being a mother, while still being able to give my children all the love an attention they need. I guess you could say, Im a SUPER MOM

Quoting AliKatAK47:

False. I've been a SAHM AND a working mother. People get far more flack nowadays for working. How many times, especially on here, are working mothers accused of not loving their children, or not being a parent to their children, or allowing someone to "raise" their children? More than I can count.  And from personal experience, I've never met a SAHM that WASN'T lazy. One I know has a house of horrors that is so filthy I don't know how people survive in there.  Since becoming a SAHM even I've become lazier.

 

 

courtAKAmommy
by Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 1:02 PM
I think it depends on your area. I live in a small country town where the price of living isn't insane. There are good jobs around here that start you off way above mini wage.
Most people assume mothers stay home with the kids. In fact there is only one daycare here.
It's a little dated here but peaceful.
misskiss21
by Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 2:55 PM
4 moms liked this

I agree with you %100 and I blame it on reality TV! So many people see real housewives of this and lazy fat rich bitches of this and it makes people think all SAHM are lazy bitches who are gold diggers. I've been a full time working mom (dad was overseas) and a SAHM and both are hard, they are different but the biggest difference is people's reactions to you. I got judgement both ways but more as a SAHM.....my uncle actually asked me point blnk at Christmas "so when are you going to get a job?" I was floored. I barely stammered.... I have one.. my son....before I realized my aunt was a SAHM!! Women are catty too and this will probably get me bashed but some, not all SOME working moms are envious of SAHMs because it is a choice and honestly you can't do it without having a man that has a good enough income so I think it can be a pride thing at times. Women will always judge other women for what they do with their bodies, families, kids, looks, etc so it will sadly never change, there's always going to be someone who thinks one way is better than the other. That being said my opinion is if it is practical and the womans wants to she should stay home with her babies because that is her JOB she is their MOTHER. A daycare is not a mother, a babysitter is not a mother. However, there are plenty of wonderful kids raised by working mom's...(myself included) who came out just fine, I personally equate it to the formula vs breastfeeding debate, both are reasonable but women have a choice, that's the great thing that we have a choice in what we do as mother's, we should rejoice in that and let other women be.

CrystleCorry
by Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 2:59 PM

could not have said it better myself!! 

Quoting misskiss21:

I agree with you %100 and I blame it on reality TV! So many people see real housewives of this and lazy fat rich bitches of this and it makes people think all SAHM are lazy bitches who are gold diggers. I've been a full time working mom (dad was overseas) and a SAHM and both are hard, they are different but the biggest difference is people's reactions to you. I got judgement both ways but more as a SAHM.....my uncle actually asked me point blnk at Christmas "so when are you going to get a job?" I was floored. I barely stammered.... I have one.. my son....before I realized my aunt was a SAHM!! Women are catty too and this will probably get me bashed but some, not all SOME working moms are envious of SAHMs because it is a choice and honestly you can't do it without having a man that has a good enough income so I think it can be a pride thing at times. Women will always judge other women for what they do with their bodies, families, kids, looks, etc so it will sadly never change, there's always going to be someone who thinks one way is better than the other. That being said my opinion is if it is practical and the womans wants to she should stay home with her babies because that is her JOB she is their MOTHER. A daycare is not a mother, a babysitter is not a mother. However, there are plenty of wonderful kids raised by working mom's...(myself included) who came out just fine, I personally equate it to the formula vs breastfeeding debate, both are reasonable but women have a choice, that's the great thing that we have a choice in what we do as mother's, we should rejoice in that and let other women be.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)