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Venting fiance doesnt do anything

Posted by on Jul. 13, 2014 at 1:57 PM
  • 5 Replies

Ok my fiance works 3 jobs, when he is home he does nothing. He worked midnight frida night through yesterday around 4. He went to bed last night around 7pm and slept through the night for the most part and woke up this morning. I get woke up to him bitching at our 1 and half year old son for knocking over his coffee that shouldnt have been in his reach any way and now he is sleeping again in the damn recliner. i really do try to be understanding but it feels like i am the only parent in this house. He sleeps and plays angry birds when he is home, im lucky if he takes the garbage out when i ask.

by on Jul. 13, 2014 at 1:57 PM
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by on Jul. 13, 2014 at 5:40 PM
How many hours per week does he work? Do you work outside the home as well?
by Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 5:42 PM
He works three jobs. Of course he's tired. Do you work?
by Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 5:49 PM

If I worked that many jobs, I would be sleeping most of the time too. I worked the night shift for 14 years and just switched 9 months ago to a day job. I was so exhausted and tired (I worked 4 twelve hour shifts a week) and was always tired and trying to get sleep so I understand what he is going through. With my husband, I made a list of jobs I was responsible for on my days off and otherwise, he did most of the rest of the chores. My DH was a stay at home dad, in college, or the last 2 years working.

by Bronze Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 5:52 PM
1 mom liked this

I think you both need a break.  3 jobs is grueling, even if the hours aren't long.  It's mentally exhuasting as well.

But being with the kids "alone" all the time and him doing brainless things (like leaving hot coffee within reach of the child) can be just as taxing.

How about you try writing out his schedule with him.  Then look at the time he has off and see what can be done.  He's at a greater risk of depression if all he does is work and sleep.  And your family needs some quality time with him.  And your home needs him to do some of the "man's work."  And you need some time for yourself.  I'm guessing if he needs 3 jobs hiring a sitter frequently isn't an option?  What about "trading?"  You watch a friend's kids one Friday night, they watch yours the next?  See if you can set up something like that, and then stick to it.  Even if he has to work on your traded night, it'll be time off YOU can use to relax and figure out a plan for the week.

by New Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 8:02 PM

I do feel for him a lot. I have been there. I think my biggest problem is I dont feel appreciated for what i do for him or the house. The grandparents take him when they can but they are older and have another grandson that they babysit all the time. So i dont like to ask. I wish he didnt have to work 3 jobs. Our son has some health issues that make me afraid for anyone else to watch him for me to work to kind of relieve the pressure on him. My problem i think is even when he didnt  have to work so much things were still the same. He makes me feel like I am his house bitch more then anything. I dont like that. We just moved to NY which is were his family is and mine is in FL which is where all my support system is too. So that makes it harder. I havent had a day out with the girls or anything in 2 years and i think its starting to take its toll on me. 

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