Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The Venting Booth The Venting Booth

LAZY MAN / PRO-WOMAN VENT / with POLL

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 19 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Is your man lazy?

Options:

A Forever Child....very lazy

Mostly a Child...mostly

An Angel...rarely lazy

Loch Ness Monster....not at all


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 19

View Results

I went onto YouTube just now and sought the topic of lazy husbands, and wouldn't you know it, a carbon copy of all articles, and self-help blogs presented itself to me and I'm so pissed.

A man had authored a book about lazy men. He admitted to the interviewer that his wife refers to him as "a reformed lazy man". What he had to say, I've seen a thousand times over:

Summarizing, he basically said to ask for help without yelling or nagging. Communicate your needs. Be clear and concise about what you really want. Be specific, don't generalize about needing help. Don't keep your standards too high. Don't be too controlling about how things have to be.

In other words...BE HIS FREAKIN' MOMMY!

If this man you live with has to be ASKED to be an involved parent; if this man you live with has to be ASKED to help keeping the house even nominally clean; if this man has to be petted, seduced and complimented into doing the most mundane, regular routine tasks....THEN YOU"RE BEING HIS FREAKIN' MOTHER!

That's not a partner! That's a headache. THat's a grown-up being a teenager. WTF.

How come many solutions for marital problems are expected to be the woman's responsibility? (As an example, there's always that woman whose husband cheated on her, and the counselor's online relaying how his advice was that SHE didn't give the bas-turd enough attention). It's ALWAYS on US!!!! 

Aren't men accountable to anything?

Look, if something needs to be done around the house, he lives here too. Those are his kids too. Why the f*ck are we expected to do anything about it except look over at the man on the couch and say, "WTF! Don't you see I'm doing twelve things over here while you're on your @ss?"

 

 

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 13, 2014 at 6:27 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
RaisinGirl78
by Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 7:11 PM
Thankfully I'm not with a man like that. And really it's none of my business if someone is.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 13, 2014 at 7:37 PM
I know this far to well. I am at my breaking point.
I leave a to-do list, I'm told I am to demanding. I ask him 20 times to do something, I am told I am to demanding.

Tripping over the laundry basket, seeing the dirty dishes, and using the dirty sink....none of which he just goes and does. I have to ask him. Even while pregnant I had to ask him to do stuff.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 13, 2014 at 7:42 PM
One of the only reason I stay with my husband is that he cleans more than I do. I put up with a bunch of crap for that.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 13, 2014 at 7:45 PM

I think it totally depends on the situation.  I mean, if you like beating dead horses.... If you are a SAHM, I think it is okay to ask for help, but the general expectation is that you do the general housework. If you both work, the housework gets split.   It shouldn't be a situation where there is a pile of dishes  from last night that is still sitting there because "you" slept until the kids woke up at 8,  decided to take the kids to a playdate and then out to lunch and then the pool and then target eventually returning home the same time hubby is getting home and then try to hectically catch up on things getting pissed off because he's watching Tour De France unwinding from work.  I mean, if you are going to claim that your day was "work" then do you want him to go to work then come home and help you work?  He shouldn't just walk through the house dropping his garbage and clothing everywhere, of course, and if he sees the baby clinging to your leg screaming for a cup of juice while you're trying to brown some meat, common courtesy should dictate that he get up and either brown the meat, or get the kid some water.  But overall, if the wife stays at home, she shouldn't expect the man to do the housework that she didn't get to...

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jul. 14, 2014 at 1:33 AM

I hate it when they say what do you want me to do? I tell him just look around at the dishes or clothes that need folding. Amen to what you just said. They are another kid

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jul. 14, 2014 at 1:35 AM

Actually asking for help, communicating clearly and concisely about what you want and need is being his mommy? 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 17, 2014 at 10:19 AM

 This isn't about being a sahm (or a working mom for that matter). This is about whatever the circumstances, the woman is getting the lion's share.

Quoting Anonymous:

I think it totally depends on the situation.  I mean, if you like beating dead horses.... If you are a SAHM, I think it is okay to ask for help, but the general expectation is that you do the general housework. If you both work, the housework gets split.   It shouldn't be a situation where there is a pile of dishes  from last night that is still sitting there because "you" slept until the kids woke up at 8,  decided to take the kids to a playdate and then out to lunch and then the pool and then target eventually returning home the same time hubby is getting home and then try to hectically catch up on things getting pissed off because he's watching Tour De France unwinding from work.  I mean, if you are going to claim that your day was "work" then do you want him to go to work then come home and help you work?  He shouldn't just walk through the house dropping his garbage and clothing everywhere, of course, and if he sees the baby clinging to your leg screaming for a cup of juice while you're trying to brown some meat, common courtesy should dictate that he get up and either brown the meat, or get the kid some water.  But overall, if the wife stays at home, she shouldn't expect the man to do the housework that she didn't get to...

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 17, 2014 at 10:22 AM

 Asking for help and not getting it, when it is first of all obvious, and then because you didn't get the help having to nag for it...either turns you into his mother who has to take care of him like a small child for whom you naturally do those things because the child is too young and incapable - or a maid to a deaf mute.

Quoting Anonymous:

Actually asking for help, communicating clearly and concisely about what you want and need is being his mommy? 

 

Outspoken.Mime
by Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 10:49 AM

Why is my DH a Loch Ness Monster if he isn't lazy?

AmaliaD
by on Jul. 17, 2014 at 10:55 AM
Why is there no real in the middle option. Dh does all the yard work, he does the laundry, he puts his garbage in the can and clothes In the hamper (not messy). He volunteers to spend one on one time with ds. But beyond that, he doesn't do much. He gets into projects, clean out the basement or garage and does it well. But also spends a good amount of time watching tv or reading about sports.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)