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I feel like I am in a cage

Posted by on Jul. 14, 2014 at 4:24 PM
  • 13 Replies
Sucks. I love dh alot and we are financially blessed. I feel so caged and down when I am with him most days. It is how he talks to me and has to be in control of everything
If I say something he will argue the point and come back saying the same thing I said only in his words
I can't stand it.
I hate working but feel so free at work
I make decisions for myself and my crew.
I am having a day. Sorry.
by on Jul. 14, 2014 at 4:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
madwifa
by Member on Jul. 14, 2014 at 5:41 PM
Bump
PinkButterfly66
by Bronze Member on Jul. 14, 2014 at 5:45 PM
1 mom liked this

So why don't you stand up to him and tell him his treatment of you is unacceptable.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 14, 2014 at 9:00 PM
1 mom liked this
Do you ever say to him "Yeah, I just said that."? Lol.

I know a few people that can be jerks like that in a conversation. I imagine it sucks to live with them. I'm glad you get some validation from your job. That's a great thing!

Would your husband ever be willing to go to counseling? Just to go to be able to communicate better? Does he even realize that y'all have a communication problem?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 14, 2014 at 9:33 PM
1 mom liked this

My best advice is to stand up to him, take back control of the situation. I've had relationships with aggressive men and you have to be willing to be firm or you end up feeling like you're getting walked all over and trampled. If the relationship becomes too exhausting, I end it. 

runningbear123
by Member on Jul. 15, 2014 at 6:24 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree, he will do it until you don't allow him to.  

skrbelly
by Bronze Member on Jul. 15, 2014 at 6:27 AM
2 moms liked this

Mobile Photo

You could try this
Dedicatedmom02
by New Member on Jul. 15, 2014 at 7:53 AM
1 mom liked this

I understand how you feel OP.  Men tend to be possessive.  Many will argue that they are suppose to be.  It almost feels like he is trying to be a father instead of a husband.  So, that draws you away from him.  He takes all the control and expects you to obey his orders.  It drives you nuts!  So, when you get away from him and out of the house you feel so free.  I have been there and felt the same way.  Like my life is controlled everyday by this man.  Makes you feel like the only way to break free is by being single.  But, you love him so much that you are at a crossroads on what to do.  Just continue to move forward, express your thoughts and feelings to him....Let him know how his control is making you feel.  Things will get better if you communicate!

virgoj3
by Member on Jul. 15, 2014 at 9:30 AM
2 moms liked this

remember that you have the key to your cage.  Don't give it to anyone and don't lose it, either.  Get yourself to counseling and get a broader perspective on what may really be going on.  You are likely married to someone with severe narcissistic tendencies and/or major passive-aggressive tendencies.  A counselor will give you the tools you need to figure out what you're dealing with and how to change the relationship (NOT change DH), and either stay or leave.  If your DH will not "allow" you to go to counseling then please see what a giant abusive cess pool you are in and please get away from him. 

madwifa
by Member on Jul. 15, 2014 at 4:01 PM
You got it right on. I do at times say don't talk to me like that or with
I have told him he has no respect for me
Of course in his words well I love and respect you in my way.
Usually if I snap or talk to him like he talks to me a huge fight occurs
I just think of different stuff while he yaps on


Quoting Dedicatedmom02:

I understand how you feel OP.  Men tend to be possessive.  Many will argue that they are suppose to be.  It almost feels like he is trying to be a father instead of a husband.  So, that draws you away from him.  He takes all the control and expects you to obey his orders.  It drives you nuts!  So, when you get away from him and out of the house you feel so free.  I have been there and felt the same way.  Like my life is controlled everyday by this man.  Makes you feel like the only way to break free is by being single.  But, you love him so much that you are at a crossroads on what to do.  Just continue to move forward, express your thoughts and feelings to him....Let him know how his control is making you feel.  Things will get better if you communicate!

madwifa
by Member on Jul. 15, 2014 at 4:03 PM
He never stops me from doing or going any place. I see your point for sure passive aggressive. And control freak. I do have the key and I know one day I will use it.

Quoting virgoj3:

remember that you have the key to your cage.  Don't give it to anyone and don't lose it, either.  Get yourself to counseling and get a broader perspective on what may really be going on.  You are likely married to someone with severe narcissistic tendencies and/or major passive-aggressive tendencies.  A counselor will give you the tools you need to figure out what you're dealing with and how to change the relationship (NOT change DH), and either stay or leave.  If your DH will not "allow" you to go to counseling then please see what a giant abusive cess pool you are in and please get away from him. 

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