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My 10 yr old boy is so selfish!

Posted by on Jul. 15, 2014 at 8:37 PM
  • 8 Replies
My son just turned 10. (Technically, he is step-son, but it doesn't make a difference to me.) Anyway, he is so selfish and disrespectful. I have seen him put his soccer cleats in his mom's face and when she said stop, he put them on her shoulder instead. Every time she told him to stop, he moved them to a new spot on her body.. That's one example of how he can be disrespectful. Another is when his dad or me are talking to him and he is angry, he scowls at us. If we tell him to knock it off, he ignores us and continues scowling.

He is selfish because he doesn't share anything. I once put his DIRTY swimming trunks in the same bag as his brother's DIRTY swimming trunks and he took his brother's trunks out, threw them on the ground and whined, "this is my bag." That's just a small example. Does anyone else have a 10 year old boy or girl that doesn't know how to share? I love him and he really is a sweet boy with a big heart, but all he does is play video games all day long. Help me!!!
by on Jul. 15, 2014 at 8:37 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 15, 2014 at 10:31 PM

When you have him then set an example. Put that boy to work make him earn respect. Spend some one on one time with him and explain to him whats going on and listen to him and let him talk to you. He wants attention. Lose the video games until he straightens up. Gotta start somewhere. Good Luck! :)

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 16, 2014 at 12:54 AM
1 mom liked this
This
Don't let him get away with it. Last thing this world needs is more selfish bratty adults!
It's a normal stage for lots of kids. Kick the bad habit now!!

Quoting Anonymous:

When you have him then set an example. Put that boy to work make him earn respect. Spend some one on one time with him and explain to him whats going on and listen to him and let him talk to you. He wants attention. Lose the video games until he straightens up. Gotta start somewhere. Good Luck! :)

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 16, 2014 at 1:29 AM

I don't think he's that bad to be honest. My sister has had a trying time with her DD's struggle with agoraphobia (fear of the outside world) and any day that her DD wanted to make progress, Sis's son (also 10) would demand to stay home "sick" and her DD would end up not going anywhere. He also has a drama with his sisters' (one older 2 younger) birthdays. His birthday is the first one of the year - so he treats everybody else like crap on their birthday and refuses to partake because he knows everyone will forget by the time his birthday rolls around. My sister actually had to cancel her DD's 21st birthday dinner because he THREATENED to have a stomach bug and crap himself so he wouldn't have to go. My niece has since moved out and tries not to have anything to do with her brother - her sisters yes, but not her brother. The rest of the family blames my neice but I lived there -and saw the truth.

nanny1918
by Bronze Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 8:37 AM
2 moms liked this
If my son put his shoes on me and he didn't remove then when I asked him to, I would take the shoes out of his hands and throw them away.
No more soccer.
I would pack away the video games.
Also, I would sit him down and explain to him (the same way you just told us) that his behavior is unacceptable. Let him know things are about to change. This can only work if his dad and mom are on board with you.
I would have him doing chores to earn privileges.
I'd start by having him help clean the garage.
PeachQuean
by on Jul. 16, 2014 at 10:00 AM
1 mom liked this

I have a 12 yr old dd  who does not like to share at all (we make it very well known when she does share) lots of praise. But my dd is also socially imature she is way behind her peers (Dr said about the age of 8) which 8 yr olds known how to share. 

But My dd writes lines when she does things like you have described. My dd is a HUGE instigator towards her two younger sisters (which my 6 yr old is now one too :( ) lol 

But I find writting lines to be very effective and its something I started with my girls atthe age of 4 yrs old when they started Kindergarten. Not only does it drill some common sense into their Oh So Precious little brains, they also learnm some great writting skills. lol They also write essays on poor behavior

For my dd who is 12, she would for example get 150 to 200 lines or she can choose to do 100 lines and a full page essay on sharing and its importance. If she just chose the lines it would be.

I promise to share when it is required, or something along those lines. (pun totally intended) lol 

My 6 yr old (6 tomorrow) does the essays and lines as well for poor behavior. 

Now believe me when the kids are acting up and I grab a pencil and paper and say I guess its time to write, they smarten up, cause they are punished for as long as it takes to complete lines and essays, and it must be 100 legiable and spelt properly with proper grammar. If its not done right they have to re-start till it gets my approval. 

Your step son is 10, I am sure if you started this with him now, by the 3rd time he had to write lines his attitude will change. 

Good luck.

Lindalou907
by Bronze Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 5:53 PM

He's probably angry that his parents aren't together anymore? He shoudn't be allowed to treat his mom like that, what is the consequence? Why does she put up with it? Can you have a parents meeting and get all three of you to discuss what the consequences will be for bad behavior? What I would do is give one warning, by counting to 3, and then he'd have a 10 minute time out, or lose his video games for the rest of the day, whatever works, but you have to be consistant, so he knows you mean business. I guess the rest of the time you all need to model kindness and unselfishness and hopefully he will grow out of it. I remember my kids going through bad phases but they all turned out great in the end, good luck!

username123
by New Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 9:16 PM
Unpaid chores. Lots of them. Also, removal of beloved privileges. Disrespect of elders is a huge no-no.
eyes_on_jesus
by New Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 12:17 AM
I agree with everything you ladies are saying. But unfortunately, his mom and step dad don't want to co-parent. My husband is on the same page, and we would love to parent all of the kids together to be on the same track, but they don't care to even try. We have asked and they have given us references to parenting books that we can look into while the kids are with us. I try really hard to be nice, so I am not going to say what I am thinking about them. Lol.

I just love the kids and desperately wish they lived with us...things would be SO different, especially with my 10 year old.
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