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Tired of potty training! Just want to send him away!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 32 Replies

 OMG! I am so sick of potty training at this point! DS01 is 3 years old atm, and refusing to potty train(or it feels like it anyway) and I am totally wishing that I could just send ds away somewhere to get potty trained and then get him back when it's done... I know it's not going to happen but ya know one can hope anyway...

I am just totally out of ideas on potty training. I even broke down after all summer(that has passed by so fair) and put a diaper on ds... I am not sure what to do at this point or if ds will even be potty trained by the time he's four... but I have half a mind to just buy a whole pack of diapers this weekend and spend a week or so without the potty and treating ds like a baby since he obviously wants to be like a baby again and idk maybe try shaming him(in a way) like making commints about how he's a baby because he won't try and use the potty like daddy... and maybe in a way taking a step backward...**At least until he starts headstart next month anyway**

idk what else to do but if DH comes home early enough tonight and if he isn't to tired or ect, then i'm going to ask him about it because i'm totally out of ideas as to what to anymore... and I kind of think that I need to take a step back ward and just let it all be, if ya catch my drift... Maybe it seems wrong to some people but i've tried a lot of ideas that people have given me to potty train him and it hasn't worked yet so why not just try something that someoone hasn't suggested to me...

Ok thank you now I feel a lil better now to get on with my day and keep my kids from killing eachother...

have a good day momma's and let the bashing begin...

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 17, 2014 at 10:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 17, 2014 at 10:22 AM
The way I potty trained my oldest was I took him to the toy store, let him pick whatever he wanted, bought it and told him he could have it when he used the potty all the time every day for 3 days. 3 days later it was his.

While I generally prefer not to bribe my kids, this one was so worth it! He was 3 at the time.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 17, 2014 at 10:32 AM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting Anonymous: The way I potty trained my oldest was I took him to the toy store, let him pick whatever he wanted, bought it and told him he could have it when he used the potty all the time every day for 3 days. 3 days later it was his. While I generally prefer not to bribe my kids, this one was so worth it! He was 3 at the time.

 lol. idk at this point, i've heard of idk howmany ideas of bribing him but I just don't think that is the anwser to be honest. I hate to say it but I just feel like that at this point because he's behind(even if it is just a lil) that he just isn't smart enough to totally understand that no matter what baby brother or anyone else dose that he needs to at least try and use the potty like a big boy...

I know I get put down a lot by dh for saying that because he thinks that I should still trying like I was on day one and take him all the time to the potty, no matter what and be super positive ect... and he hates hearing me say that i want to idk give up and take a step back even if only for a week or two or whatever... but idk anymore. I really don't... but we shall see what happens maybe dh will have time talk to me tonight and maybe that'll help... we'll see...

JoanahLee
by on Jul. 17, 2014 at 10:36 AM
1 mom liked this

If it's that hard he's not ready, or he is picking up on your stress and is too stressed out to do this right now. 

What are head starts rules?  Does he have to be potty trained to start school?  

I think taking a break and going back to diapers is fine.  I would knock off all the "baby shaming" stuff tho.  This does not need to be a negative experiance for him or for you.  Take a break, find something awesome to bribe him with, leave it in sight but out of reach and every time he asks about it remind him that he has to put all his pee pee and poo poo into the potty all day to get that treat, but then just drop it.  

I potty trained a 3 1/2 year old that way.  Kid could change his own diapers but was not going to have anything to do with the potty... till I found the right bribe toy and he was toilet trained in 24 hours. 

JoanahLee
by on Jul. 17, 2014 at 10:42 AM

I had strong feelings about bribery before I became a parent. Im going to teach my kids to feel good about accomplishing things, teach them to appreciate doing right because its the right thing to do..bla bla bla.  Those are still things I would like my kids to learn, but it's not realistic. 

Even as adults, we decide if something is worth doing based on the benefit of it being done.  Granted, as adults, you don't get a spider man doll for washing the dishes, but you DO decide to drag yourself to the sink and wash the dishes before bed because you know that means you will have clean dishes in the morning, which for me, is better than spider man lol. 

I really enjoy the work that I do professionally, but im not kidding anyone.. if I were not getting paid I would do a whole lot less of that work.  

As far as kids go, when the benefit of an action is too abstract for a 3 year old to grasp and work towards I think its perfectly fine to add additional concrete benefits to the process AKA Bribery! 

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Anonymous: The way I potty trained my oldest was I took him to the toy store, let him pick whatever he wanted, bought it and told him he could have it when he used the potty all the time every day for 3 days. 3 days later it was his. While I generally prefer not to bribe my kids, this one was so worth it! He was 3 at the time.

 lol. idk at this point, i've heard of idk howmany ideas of bribing him but I just don't think that is the anwser to be honest. I hate to say it but I just feel like that at this point because he's behind(even if it is just a lil) that he just isn't smart enough to totally understand that no matter what baby brother or anyone else dose that he needs to at least try and use the potty like a big boy...

I know I get put down a lot by dh for saying that because he thinks that I should still trying like I was on day one and take him all the time to the potty, no matter what and be super positive ect... and he hates hearing me say that i want to idk give up and take a step back even if only for a week or two or whatever... but idk anymore. I really don't... but we shall see what happens maybe dh will have time talk to me tonight and maybe that'll help... we'll see...


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 17, 2014 at 11:16 AM
1 mom liked this
It is clear that you are very frustrated with the whole process. Your frustration isn't going to help your son learn to use the potty. It has nothing to do with his capacity for understanding, rather it is what he sees as the benefit to him of using the potty. If he doesn't mind a messy diaper he really doesn't have an incentive to use the potty. You need to give him one - doesn't matter what it is (toys, positive reinforcement, extra cuddle time) so long as he understands the incentive is tied to using the potty.

Quoting Anonymous:

 


Quoting Anonymous: The way I potty trained my oldest was I took him to the toy store, let him pick whatever he wanted, bought it and told him he could have it when he used the potty all the time every day for 3 days. 3 days later it was his. While I generally prefer not to bribe my kids, this one was so worth it! He was 3 at the time.

 lol. idk at this point, i've heard of idk howmany ideas of bribing him but I just don't think that is the anwser to be honest. I hate to say it but I just feel like that at this point because he's behind(even if it is just a lil) that he just isn't smart enough to totally understand that no matter what baby brother or anyone else dose that he needs to at least try and use the potty like a big boy...


I know I get put down a lot by dh for saying that because he thinks that I should still trying like I was on day one and take him all the time to the potty, no matter what and be super positive ect... and he hates hearing me say that i want to idk give up and take a step back even if only for a week or two or whatever... but idk anymore. I really don't... but we shall see what happens maybe dh will have time talk to me tonight and maybe that'll help... we'll see...

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 17, 2014 at 11:24 AM

 

Quoting JoanahLee:

I had strong feelings about bribery before I became a parent. Im going to teach my kids to feel good about accomplishing things, teach them to appreciate doing right because its the right thing to do..bla bla bla.  Those are still things I would like my kids to learn, but it's not realistic. 

Even as adults, we decide if something is worth doing based on the benefit of it being done.  Granted, as adults, you don't get a spider man doll for washing the dishes, but you DO decide to drag yourself to the sink and wash the dishes before bed because you know that means you will have clean dishes in the morning, which for me, is better than spider man lol. 

I really enjoy the work that I do professionally, but im not kidding anyone.. if I were not getting paid I would do a whole lot less of that work.  

As far as kids go, when the benefit of an action is too abstract for a 3 year old to grasp and work towards I think its perfectly fine to add additional concrete benefits to the process AKA Bribery! 

Quoting Anonymous:

 

Quoting Anonymous: The way I potty trained my oldest was I took him to the toy store, let him pick whatever he wanted, bought it and told him he could have it when he used the potty all the time every day for 3 days. 3 days later it was his. While I generally prefer not to bribe my kids, this one was so worth it! He was 3 at the time.

 lol. idk at this point, i've heard of idk howmany ideas of bribing him but I just don't think that is the anwser to be honest. I hate to say it but I just feel like that at this point because he's behind(even if it is just a lil) that he just isn't smart enough to totally understand that no matter what baby brother or anyone else dose that he needs to at least try and use the potty like a big boy...

I know I get put down a lot by dh for saying that because he thinks that I should still trying like I was on day one and take him all the time to the potty, no matter what and be super positive ect... and he hates hearing me say that i want to idk give up and take a step back even if only for a week or two or whatever... but idk anymore. I really don't... but we shall see what happens maybe dh will have time talk to me tonight and maybe that'll help... we'll see...

Well I'm trying to say that I think bribery is a flat out bad thing to ect... the issue for me is will even understand the main point, or what have you if I do find something to brib him with... Does that make since thu...

yes you are right maybe bringing up shaming was wrong or what have you, but in general idk I think taking a step back for a week or two before school starts would be agood idea and then seeing how the school apporches it...

No it is not required for them to potty trained, so yeah maybe it would be a good idea to just wait..

Now the challenge would be getting dh to agree peacfully to just take a step back a wait a bit(since he thinks i'm totally wrong on this and other things to do with raising kids that won't be easy but we'll see what happens.) I just feel like that by now after so long of trying to teach him he should have gotten the idea and at least been trying to go to the potty but he's now and I just don't get it... but we'll see what happens... 

Thank you...  

aimesnyc
by on Jul. 17, 2014 at 11:25 AM

We are in the middle of potty training as well.  What I did to begin was took adavantage of the long weekend (4th of July, I work FT), made sure we didn't have any plans, and left him naked the entire weekend (except at night, of course).  When he peed on the floor, I patiently said "no pee on the floor, only on the toilet, etc" and he helped me clean it up.  He actually caught on pretty quickly.  When he peed on the potty the first time, I was SO excited, and he was happy to get that reaction from me.  So that was an incentive for him.  Another incentive was the big boy underwear I bought (with superheroes on them).  I told him that he couldn't wear them until he peed on the potty.  He had a couple of accidents in his underwear, but again, I patiently said "no pee in your underwear, only in the toilet."  He has had some accidents at daycare, but otherwise has been doing well.  I have been pretty vigilant with him - asking him if he has to pee about every 30 minutes, and noticing his cues.  For example, when he has to pee, he tends to grab his crotch. 

Just try to be as patient as you can.  There will be moments of regression (my son pissed in Dunkin Donuts last Friday), but you have to try and approach it with a sense of humor so that you don't go crazy and project that stress on him.


Good luck!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 17, 2014 at 11:30 AM

 

Quoting aimesnyc:

We are in the middle of potty training as well.  What I did to begin was took adavantage of the long weekend (4th of July, I work FT), made sure we didn't have any plans, and left him naked the entire weekend (except at night, of course).  When he peed on the floor, I patiently said "no pee on the floor, only on the toilet, etc" and he helped me clean it up.  He actually caught on pretty quickly.  When he peed on the potty the first time, I was SO excited, and he was happy to get that reaction from me.  So that was an incentive for him.  Another incentive was the big boy underwear I bought (with superheroes on them).  I told him that he couldn't wear them until he peed on the potty.  He had a couple of accidents in his underwear, but again, I patiently said "no pee in your underwear, only in the toilet."  He has had some accidents at daycare, but otherwise has been doing well.  I have been pretty vigilant with him - asking him if he has to pee about every 30 minutes, and noticing his cues.  For example, when he has to pee, he tends to grab his crotch. 

Just try to be as patient as you can.  There will be moments of regression (my son pissed in Dunkin Donuts last Friday), but you have to try and approach it with a sense of humor so that you don't go crazy and project that stress on him.

 

Good luck!

See this is where I get stuck people talk about picking up on cues, noticing this or that learning something or another and then teaching him, I have been trying hard as hell to figure out how to teach him about the potty but i 'm missing something and can't figure out what it is that i'm missing... but idk anymore... but thank you for encouragment...  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 17, 2014 at 11:37 AM
My dd is almost 4, I am tired of it. She is "potty trained" as in she can go weeks and weeks and have no accidents. Then decide she isn't doing it and bam she is back to peeing her pants 10 times a day. Its so frustrating.
aimesnyc
by on Jul. 17, 2014 at 11:40 AM

Well, have you tried putting him on the potty after he has an accident?  So that he starts to associate going potty with the toilet?  Then letting him flush the toilet?  Or some people like to station training potties all over the house/apt so that there is one ready. 

Does he grunt when he poops?  Does he get a certain look on his face?  Does he poop in one particular spot?  Those are the signs you should look for.  Leave him naked, put the housework to the side for the time being, and really focus on him and his cues.  You could also try a sticker chart for every time he goes on the toilet. 

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting aimesnyc:

We are in the middle of potty training as well.  What I did to begin was took adavantage of the long weekend (4th of July, I work FT), made sure we didn't have any plans, and left him naked the entire weekend (except at night, of course).  When he peed on the floor, I patiently said "no pee on the floor, only on the toilet, etc" and he helped me clean it up.  He actually caught on pretty quickly.  When he peed on the potty the first time, I was SO excited, and he was happy to get that reaction from me.  So that was an incentive for him.  Another incentive was the big boy underwear I bought (with superheroes on them).  I told him that he couldn't wear them until he peed on the potty.  He had a couple of accidents in his underwear, but again, I patiently said "no pee in your underwear, only in the toilet."  He has had some accidents at daycare, but otherwise has been doing well.  I have been pretty vigilant with him - asking him if he has to pee about every 30 minutes, and noticing his cues.  For example, when he has to pee, he tends to grab his crotch. 

Just try to be as patient as you can.  There will be moments of regression (my son pissed in Dunkin Donuts last Friday), but you have to try and approach it with a sense of humor so that you don't go crazy and project that stress on him.


Good luck!

See this is where I get stuck people talk about picking up on cues, noticing this or that learning something or another and then teaching him, I have been trying hard as hell to figure out how to teach him about the potty but i 'm missing something and can't figure out what it is that i'm missing... but idk anymore... but thank you for encouragment...  


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