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Adult TV time and my annoying situation, am I wrong for being pissed?

Posted by on Jul. 17, 2014 at 2:54 PM
  • 32 Replies

Ok so long story short, we have step daughter a few nights a week and every other weekend, she is 7. Two years ago, her uncle custom made her a bedroom set with built in TV for her to watch her cartoon and (sorry, moronic) kids shows. We have a huge 70 inch screen TV in living room!! For some unknown reason, she will not watch TV in her bedroom. SO and I have had several talks about sharing TV time when she is here, because to be honest watching 24 hours of cartoon and these kids shows annoys the hell out of me. And even though SO had agreed in past that we can let her watch her shows until about 8 then we can watch ours, this has not changed one bit!! So we sit there all night, especially now that shes on summer break and have to watch her shows until she passes out, which isnt normally unti late.

I find myself livid inside when shes here and it gets to where we have watcher hours upon hours of her shows and cannot turn to watch our show cause she refuses to watch in her room or will have a fit and continually ask "can i watch my shows, can I watch my shows", even if theyve been off for one minute!!

So I plunge myself on to the computer to browse or play games, but am I wrong for being totally annoyed that we can't have our adult TV time? I literally sit there and stew, trying not to show it but OMG its aggravating and SO of course won't tell her no when she's with us?

Anyone else in this predicament? Oh and I refuse to go up into our room to watch TV, why the hell should I be the one who has to go upstairs to watch them when the TV in the living room is as much as mine as anyone else's!!

Her weekend is coming up and here we go again with 24-7 moronic kid shows and cartoon!! UGH!!

by on Jul. 17, 2014 at 2:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mommy2boys03
by on Jul. 17, 2014 at 2:58 PM
2 moms liked this

frist of all there is no reason she should be watching that much tv.  Set limits on her tv time just for her own good.  Secondly talk with your DH at setting a bed time for this child even in the summer sounds like she needs the structure.  In our house the kids go to bed somewhere between 8 and 9.  My youngest is 7

JoanahLee
by on Jul. 17, 2014 at 3:03 PM
4 moms liked this

Why the hell is a 7 year old running your house?  Why is she watching endless hours of TV and why does she not have a bedtime?  

Not getting to watch CSI is the least of your problems.  I understand it can be tricky because shes "not your kid" and you don't want to step on toes etc.. but you and DH need to sit down and put the house rules on paper, sit dd down when she arrives this weekend, explain the rules, which include what time the tv can and can not be on, and what time she is to go to bed.   Then follow through.  

MommyRush
by Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 3:06 PM
This exactly! My kids get to watch tv for a couple hours after they wake up then it goes off we all clean up anything around the house and then they are outside for majority of the day. After dinner and bath time they watch about an hour of tv then its bed time where they have a tv in there room where they can watch movie. I didn't put cable in their room either. This gives them plenty of time to watch tv and plenty of time to play

Quoting mommy2boys03:

frist of all there is no reason she should be watching that much tv.  Set limits on her tv time just for her own good.  Secondly talk with your DH at setting a bed time for this child even in the summer sounds like she needs the structure.  In our house the kids go to bed somewhere between 8 and 9.  My youngest is 7

CopingMom33
by New Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 3:14 PM

 I wish it were all that easy, let me explain a little further. Her real mother to say it plainly is a piece of crap!! If we had the money we would sue for custody, her real mother is a selfish, self centered woman that basically uses step daughter as a show piece and dumps her off on anyone and everyone to do "her thing". This bein said my SO and his mother as well "try" to make up for this by giving her basically whatever she wants. I do know this is bad, believe me and I wait for the teenage years with her to see how very spoiled and rotten she will be, but SO says one thing and does another for her in ways of making up for what a piece of crap her real mother is. We have had numrous talks about these things, bed times, eating, TV watching etc, some may change for a week but then go back !! Its been a futile struggle needless to say, and don't get me wrong, I love SD with all my heart and try to be there for her but she does rule the house when shes here and its very annoying at times!!

tammeee3
by New Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 3:53 PM
1 mom liked this

why dont you play with her ,play a board game ,do crafts together, take the emephasis off of tv for her and then come up with a schedule

smurfette1903
by Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 3:57 PM
2 moms liked this
She is seven. Turn off her shows and when she asks, tell her there is a TV in her room. She whines...tell her too bad so sad. Continues to whine..issue punishment.
Mrs.Kubalabuku
by Bronze Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 4:03 PM
2 moms liked this

It's unfortunate that she's a SD, as this limits how much you can impact the behaviors.  Does your DH support you in disciplining her?  What agreements/standards are in place as far as the decisions you can make regarding her?

Honestly, I'd drop cable completely.  When SD is there I wouldn't have a single electronic on for her to use.  Not even her bedroom TV.  That girl is being ALLOWED to sit in front of a TV from when she wakes up to when she passes out!  How is that a good life for her?  Sounds more like Dad and BM don't really want to take the time to DO anything with the girl, the way you described things.

See about catching your favorite shows on Hulu or Netflix, or buy the season DVDs.  

Or, make a "show night" with some gal friends and leave DH to watch the moronic kid shows, since he's allowing the behavior to continue.  You can go to a friend's house with a few snacks and a blanket and wish him a good time.

The girl also needs a bedtime.  Summer or not, it isn't good for her to be allowed to watch TV until she passes out.  Once in a while it's a nice treat, but as a habit, it's not good for her at all.

Google some studies about the impact of "screen time" on children and show them to DH.

Invest in some boardgames.  They have really neat ones out now in addition to the classics, and make at least one night of her visit a game night.  Teach her there are real things to experience outside that damned screen.

Does she like Spongebob?  (shudders)  If so, cut some cheap sponges into a square and star, get sea-themed stamps and stencils and kid-friendly paint, and have her paint a Spongebob picture!

Does she like My Little Pony?  (I kinda like that one, in small doses...)  Take her to a real pony ranch where she can learn about real horses and even ride one!

Big on princesses?  Start hitting up thrift shops and get her dress up gear and have a Princess night.  You and her dress up while DH serves you and "romances" you both like Prince Charming.  Paint your nails together, do makeup with each other, let Dad pretend he actually cooked that takeout food.

Perstephane92
by Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 4:48 PM
1 mom liked this

Tell her that either she watches in her room, or she doesn't watch at all. I get that people feel bad and spoil her because of it, but that's not doing her any favors. Good luck.

mommy2boys03
by on Jul. 17, 2014 at 5:22 PM

Do they realize they are doing her more harm than good?  If she has no structure anywhere else in her life your DH's home being the only stable place she needs it more there than ever. She needs to learn that life has rules and not everyone will do what you want all the time.   Yes it will be rough at first but in the long run it will be better in the end.  During the day if you have her while DH is at work help her develop interest outside of the tv.  Look into your library and see what programs they have for the summer.  They are free.  Look for books you can read with her.  Most kids shows have books associated with them if nothing else.  If you are cooking have her help you.  At 7 they can mix and measure.  Take her outside and show her the birds and things around your area.  Lowes and home depot have kids workshops that are free where you can go and build projects with kids.  Yes I see lots of girls there.  I'm not sure if money is an issue, which is why everything I mentioned are free to do.  Show here there is a life outside of the tv.

Quoting CopingMom33:

 I wish it were all that easy, let me explain a little further. Her real mother to say it plainly is a piece of crap!! If we had the money we would sue for custody, her real mother is a selfish, self centered woman that basically uses step daughter as a show piece and dumps her off on anyone and everyone to do "her thing". This bein said my SO and his mother as well "try" to make up for this by giving her basically whatever she wants. I do know this is bad, believe me and I wait for the teenage years with her to see how very spoiled and rotten she will be, but SO says one thing and does another for her in ways of making up for what a piece of crap her real mother is. We have had numrous talks about these things, bed times, eating, TV watching etc, some may change for a week but then go back !! Its been a futile struggle needless to say, and don't get me wrong, I love SD with all my heart and try to be there for her but she does rule the house when shes here and its very annoying at times!!


BroomandHat
by New Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 6:15 PM

Just turn off the TV and go outside- it's pretty out! :)

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