I'm new to this group, but I need to vent. I have no one to talk to about this stuff because everyone thinks my marriage is "perfect". Even the few who do understand, don't know how bad it has been getting.
I married my childhood sweetheart when I turned 18 and we had our daughter, Evelin, a little over a year later. While I was pregnant, I worked but I stopped two months before she was born and stayed home for the first year.
I started working for a hospital and as soon as I got my fist check, he magically lost his job. Now I know that seems harsh, but I have been trying to keep us afloat on 8.75 an hour for three months. He still hasn't found a job, our savings are gone and I am not going to be able to pay for all of rent or our car payment this month.
I feel like I'm being a b-word because he let me stay home with our daughter for a long time, but he was making only a little less than double what I make an hour. I am scared that we are going to lose everything and I am at ends wit. I feel like all he does is play video games and we never talk about anything without fighting.
What I really want is a giant hammer to smash all of our electronics into tiny pieces, just so I don't have to ever see them again. I go to bed early and get up around 4:30 and he is usually still playing video games. I get ready and Evelin ready to go to his Mom's and usually by the time I leave he is just crawling to bed.
I love my husband, but I don't know how much more I can handle. I don't want our daughter around us fighting or for her to see my crying all the time. I just don't know what I can do