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Need Advice or Maybe a Hammer

Posted by on Jul. 18, 2014 at 11:06 AM
  • 7 Replies


I'm new to this group, but I need to vent. I have no one to talk to about this stuff because everyone thinks my marriage is "perfect". Even the few who do understand, don't know how bad it has been getting.

I married my childhood sweetheart when I turned 18 and we had our daughter, Evelin, a little over a year later. While I was pregnant, I worked but I stopped two months before she was born and stayed home for the first year. 

I started working for a hospital and as soon as I got my fist check, he magically lost his job. Now I know that seems harsh, but I have been trying to keep us afloat on 8.75 an hour for three months. He still hasn't found a job, our savings are gone and I am not going to be able to pay for all of rent or our car payment this month. 

I feel like I'm being a b-word because he let me stay home with our daughter for a long time, but he was making only a little less than double what I make an hour. I am scared that we are going to lose everything and I am at ends wit. I feel like all he does is play video games and we never talk about anything without fighting.  

What I really want is a giant hammer to smash all of our electronics into tiny pieces, just so I don't have to ever see them again. I go to bed early and get up around 4:30 and he is usually still playing video games. I get ready and Evelin ready to go to his Mom's and usually by the time I leave he is just crawling to bed. 

I love my husband, but I don't know how much more I can handle. I don't want our daughter around us fighting or for her to see my crying all the time. I just don't know what I can do

by on Jul. 18, 2014 at 11:06 AM
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Replies (1-7):
by Member on Jul. 18, 2014 at 1:05 PM

Sounds like you need to have a talk with him and tell him straight up he needs to get a job or something will change. Sometimes men need to hear the harsh truth. 

Now if he "lost his job" then he should have qualified for unemployment and it should have held you over until he found a new one... so I would be questioning him if he didn't get unemployment.

by Member on Jul. 18, 2014 at 4:56 PM
Hide the games.
by Bronze Member on Jul. 18, 2014 at 5:42 PM
Was he laid off or fired? My ex was constantly getting laid off, not because he wasn't a hard worker, but because of his attitude.

He'd sit around and get unemployment waiting for the perfect job to fall in his lap.
I'd go to bed, wake at 4am and he'd be sitting there staring at the computer. Either naked women or land and homes in Montana.
I was working 2 jobs, 7 days a week, taking and picking up our daughter from school. He'd be asleep.
Then I heard him telling people that I wasn't contributing enough to the family. His cure for his unhappiness was to boot me and daughter out.

You're hubby needs a wake up call. Does he not understand that there's no money? Ask him how he expects these bills to get paid.
Mine actually quit his job one month after buying the house!
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 19, 2014 at 8:49 PM

git rid of them games problem solved tv too

by Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 10:49 PM
First why is he not watching your daughter when hes not working. Wtf that would end like yesterday. Then tell get off the video games an get a job before you guys loose everything.
by Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 11:06 PM
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The least he could do is watch his daughter. I suggest you cut off the cable. a box of oodles and noodles for his dinner for every night of the week...maybe them he'll get the message.
by Silver Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 5:08 PM

I wouldn't smash them, I'd sell them.

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