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The Venting Booth The Venting Booth

having a hard time to cope. don't no what to do? I'm brand new to this.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies
I don't no if I'm a bad person for thinking this. But here it goes.

I've had a rough 6 years of my life. I don't no if I am mentally capable of changing my life style or am I in need of Phycological assistance.

I am with my fiance for quite a while now. And when I went into the relationship I knew he had a daughter with a mother women. It didn't bother me at first. But I noticed her mother was very mentally unstable. She would throw fits and blame everyone for her anger and taking it out on her kids. Especially the daughter that my fiance and her share together. As the years went by the little girl was affected by her mothers behavior, and became a self spoiled little brat. I see that my fiance has a hard time controlling her behavior. And decides to let her be. But I can't stand the way that little girl is trying to run her fathers life. And my fiance wants me to take over and help out when sue has her tantrums. I've been in this little girls life since she was a baby. And it was my fault for not spending time with her as much as I should of. But I had my own problems to take care of. And my fiance never seemed to mind.

Now as he has a hard time with her. He wants me to take control.
So when I try and teach this poor girl manners and how to respect adults. She hits and Sasses me. And I tell her that that's not appropriate my fiance snaps at me stating that I shouldn't talk to her that way and I shouldn't be doing that...

As I am pregnant with his child. I fear of my son going to end up like his daughter and when I try to raise him in a respectful home that my fiance has a different parenting plan and let him do what he wants. And let his daughter bull him.

My fiance fight all the time and we want to separate but it never happened. And we are okay for a while. And these fights happen again.
But they only occur when he's daughter is over on the weekends. I don't look forward to it and I don't want to be around her.

I tell him how I feel about the situation. And how I feel that he wants me to do things but I get shit on for doing them.
Every time that little girls around I feel neglected and alienated.

He spends every dime we have on her because she whines and Cry's if we don't do so. He gives in and I tell him we can't afford for all this goodies he's giving her.

Were on a tight budget and with the baby on the way how can we afford this?

I'm stressing out. I don't no how to handle this.

Oh we are a big enough age gape. I'm 23 and he's 32..

Any advice??
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 23, 2014 at 4:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 23, 2014 at 4:09 PM
I don't think I could stay in a relationship like that. Where is his respect for you? He needs to stand up and be a dad!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 23, 2014 at 4:17 PM
As he grew up his mother did everything for him and still does.every time I try to end it he comes back with a guilt trip of. .." I sacrificed a lot of things for you. To give you a good home and took you in when you had nothing" I'm a sensitive person and o feel bad. Its like I have debt to him.
heathermom4
by Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 5:09 PM
Wow I know how you feel. First if she is hitting you an you are pregnant she could hurt your baby an if your babies dad is to sorry but stupid to realize this then you need to point it out. Second sounds like you or her dad need to grab her an smack her butt. Tell either it changes or you are leaving that you will not put yourself or your baby in jeopardy.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 23, 2014 at 5:16 PM
I would of loved to give her a good smack. But sadly I can get charged. She's not my kid.
Leaving is a hard part when you have no where to go

Quoting heathermom4: Wow I know how you feel. First if she is hitting you an you are pregnant she could hurt your baby an if your babies dad is to sorry but stupid to realize this then you need to point it out. Second sounds like you or her dad need to grab her an smack her butt. Tell either it changes or you are leaving that you will not put yourself or your baby in jeopardy.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 23, 2014 at 5:20 PM

Nope, no advice. You entered into a relationship with a guy who has a child and now you're pregnant with his child. You're tied to him for the rest of your life. Deal with it or leave. And he treats you the way he does because you let him. Smh.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 23, 2014 at 5:30 PM
Brutally honest.
Like I said I don't mind going into a relationship with a man if he has another child with another woman. Its the fact he has no respect. And sadly it just happened recently. I was just wondering if anyone could give me in a change of thought and how it would affect my unborn child in the future. Or if me leaving would be the better choice.


Quoting Anonymous:

Nope, no advice. You entered into a relationship with a guy who has a child and now you're pregnant with his child. You're tied to him for the rest of your life. Deal with it or leave. And he treats you the way he does because you let him. Smh.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 23, 2014 at 6:28 PM

time to move on wihtout him..he should be puttin you first not his child.....and what makes you think he won'd cheat on you again and have another kid with someone else?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jul. 24, 2014 at 11:28 AM
The little girl is a victim in all of this. She is simply the way she is due to poor parenting. I don't expect that coming down hard on her now will change this, only make it worse. Sounds like she's had it hard enough. She sounds like she's been emotionally (maybe even physically abused) - how can you blame her for acting out? She needs love and understanding and actual parent. ALL of you sound totally incapable of being parents. She sound incredibly immature to be jealous of the daughter, the Dad can't parent and tries to give the job to you, and you can't do it because you really even care for the little girl, only resent her, and the mother sounds like a failure as a parent as well. The little girl is a lost cause unless someone steps up and fixes things, in a loving manner. I don't think any of you can do this. I don't think you'll listen, but the two if you do NOT need to be together. It's not benefitting anyone. Separate, go your way, he can go his, and you can try to parent the baby you have on the way and he can continue screwing up his daughters life. Suggestion, parenting classes. You need them, and so does he.
heathermom4
by Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 10:53 PM
There is a difference between beating an correcting a child a good swat to the butt with an open hand is not abuse. You need to sit him down alone a discuss things tell him how you feel. I think parenting classes are a great idea. Before I had ad my kids I took different ones.
jenns1987
by New Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 11:32 PM
The child doesnt need spanking. She needs a therapist. My daughter did similar stuff post abuse. And she was diagnosed with ptsd and now shes acting way better
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