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The Venting Booth The Venting Booth

I feel like we are being blackmailed....

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 29 Replies
1 mom liked this
I just need to vent:) We are really just in a stinky situation and I am pregnant hormonal, hurt, and feel like talking

My DH has a 7 yr old daughter froma previous marriage and we have a 2 yr old and are expecting twins:) We are sooo excited but we unfortunately hit a roug patch. I had to quit my job for heath reasons of course and so with having to buy more we are straped. My DH asked his ex if she could claim their daighter every year on taxes and lower child support so we could make ends meet. (We currently pay $700 a month and his checks are only 900-1000 every two weeks! I know its sickening... But you know it has always been whatever we were fine until now. I am so stressed. Well she said she will only lower the child support if she can move across country:( she would lower it to $400 a month which is ?groceries every month. My husband agreed to let her move (in our state a parent cant move w/o consent of the other) I dont know the exact law. I am so sad that our children will grow up not knowing thier older sister. I have just been in tears I love her and will miss her ao much and my husband is tore up about it too. We know she will visit for summer and christmas but its not the same as having her 3-4 nights a week. The thing that also thinks and I am gonna say since I am venting.....she got pregnant in highschool because he went to college and she was afraid of him leaving her. She went off her BC and didnt tell him until they were already having sex w/o a condom (and yes he could have pulled out) but :he didnt. Kinda seems like she trapped him lol then they got married and 2 months later she cheated on him. She left him and had a baby with him and left him.... She told me. You dont know what its like to have a baby young. I had to give up my whole life and I deserve to be happy. I am weird but My kids are my whole life and they dont make me unhappy....I am just mad! I wish she didnt have control over this and ultimately it was my husbands decision to agree to it so it is what it is....at least we will be able to provide for our babies better. I just wish we could keep our older daughter and she could move:. Oh well...life isnt fair. Thanks for reading! Off to bed for me:) I feel better already:P
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 24, 2014 at 11:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 25, 2014 at 12:45 AM

No advice but here is a hughugs. Good luck to you!

Lindalou907
by Bronze Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 1:14 AM

Ugh, you kind of ARE being blackmailed. I'm sorry mama. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 25, 2014 at 1:28 AM

That's not blackmail. It is manipulative, but not blackmail.  Your husband certainly has the right to say "no" to the move..but she certainly has the right to expect child support.   

Maybe there is a good reason for the move, like a much better job.  Life is ever changing.  The kids will still know each other, it will however take effort and will be different. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 25, 2014 at 8:23 AM
Well, it would be nice if it were for a job but unfortunately it iisn't. (Another reason I am worried for my SD) she is moving for a boyfriend she has never met:( she is going to visit him for the first time next week. She hasn't had a job since May and and is very unstable. She Was cheating on my now husband with this guy when they were married and then continued talking to him on and off when she was still engaged to the guy she left my nusband for. :(( I found this out becuae her best friend is dating my husbands best frend.)

also, we werent trying to take away her CS. We offered to let her claim her every year on taxex instead of every other. The differance would break even. But would make a big differeance for us monthly. She lives with her mom and gets foodstamps, wic, and free ins...so she wouldnt be put out of ahome ya know??
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 25, 2014 at 2:10 PM

He has the power to say no. There are other ways. We have been there. My hubby workd 70-80 work weeks to help us climb out of debt. How far will they move to stay connected. Ex will always try....she to busy, she does not have $ to send her etc etc etc. There is no short cut.

My Hubby ExW owed $10,000 in back child support and was refusing to work or pay any child support as he had full custody.

When we filed back child support papers she freaked when she got served.

We said we would drop back child support it if she gave us permission to move.

She could not sign the papers fast enough. She never paid another dime and owes us over over $50k or showed up for visitation until the kids hit 18. They then considered her a stranger.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 25, 2014 at 2:13 PM

He needs to consider his daughters safety for allowing this. Does BM jump around a lot? My own daughter was getting ready to move in with her boy friend of 2 months with her child and the night before he broke up with her and moved back in with his EX!!!! OMG! Think of daughter over all well being and not just the $$$


Quoting Anonymous: Well, it would be nice if it were for a job but unfortunately it iisn't. (Another reason I am worried for my SD) she is moving for a boyfriend she has never met:( she is going to visit him for the first time next week. She hasn't had a job since May and and is very unstable. She Was cheating on my now husband with this guy when they were married and then continued talking to him on and off when she was still engaged to the guy she left my nusband for. :(( I found this out becuae her best friend is dating my husbands best frend.) also, we werent trying to take away her CS. We offered to let her claim her every year on taxex instead of every other. The differance would break even. But would make a big differeance for us monthly. She lives with her mom and gets foodstamps, wic, and free ins...so she wouldnt be put out of ahome ya know??


Blessed2585
by Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 5:42 PM

I am so sorry to hear this! I will keep you in my prayers!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 25, 2014 at 10:09 PM
2 moms liked this
We juat found out this morning WHY she was moving. She wouldn't tell us before. Now that we know we are not going to let her move since we know its for a man. I feel a lot better it will be hard. We are going to file for temporary assistance Idk if we qualify but never hurts to try. And he contacted his old boss who owns a construction company to see if he could pick up weekend jobs:) We will see.I Am scared but twins do that to you ha ha. God never gives you more than you can handle!
littlesippycup
by iloveanons on Jul. 26, 2014 at 11:58 AM

You feel blackmailed?!?! You traded seeing her for money, the same as BM.

xcheapxbeautyx
by Member on Jul. 26, 2014 at 7:24 PM
1 mom liked this

Idk about your state, BUT here in Texas you can file for a modification of child support. your husband now has 3 additional children to care for financially and that makes a huge difference. I would explore those options before agreeing to this type of situation. Good luck to ya!

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