Have you ever found something old and gross underneath the sofa cushions? Well ... imagine finding something old and gross in a much more delicate place. Surgeons recently found a 10-year-old sex toy in a woman's vagina. She's freakin' lucky to be alive.
You're probably wondering at this point: How the? What? How did she? How did they? Well, I'm glad you asked. Here's how you end up harboring a sex toy inside your lady cave for a full decade. I think you'll find there's an important lesson for us all to learn from this story.
Our story begins when the 38-year-old woman came in complaining of severe weight-loss, incontinence, shaking, and lethargy. I don't know how doctors went from those symptoms to "let's look there!" But look they did, and what they found is actually quite sad. The five-inch sex toy lodged in her vagina was protruding into her bladder. She was suffering what's called a fistula. That's an abnormal passage that allows urine to flow into the vagina. And the blockage was also causing urine to flow back into the kidneys.
This is a potentially life-threatening situation. It could have been worse, though -- the object could have caused an infection.
Anyway, the woman admitted to doctors that she remembered inserting the toy with a sex partner 10 years ago while intoxicated. She said she hadn't been able to recall if she'd removed it or not. Apparently that's a not.
The good news is, doctors were able to repair the damage and she is on her way to recovery. Phew!
So what did we learn?
1. Don't play with sex toys when you're drunk.
2. Don't put anything into your vagina while drunk unless it's attached to something else like a rope or a person.
3. Even then, exercise caution.
4. Think you left something in there? Maybe investigate a bit.
5. Still thinking there's a remote possibility that you've left something in there in a place where you can't reach? GET THEE TO A DOCTOR FORTHWITH.
Have you ever worried about getting something lost or forgotten in your vagina?