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Apparently I am now ruining his bday ... and it's over a week away

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 4:16 PM
  • 14 Replies

SO started to tell me last night until our DD interrupted him that he and his karoke friends were planning a birthday bash type party on the 2nd and that he wanted me to get a sitter so that I could go. Not long after telling me today he kept saying "I'm staying the entire time, I'm not staying for a little bit and leaving." Meaning: "I know you like to leave and be home by 1am so.... 9:30pm to 1am just isn't cool with me so why don't you just stay home". I couldn't get much of a word in because I had a customer walk in so I told him that I'd call him later to which he had a hissy fit and hung up. Whatever. He started into phone calls and texts pretty much telling me to nevermind about it, he'll cancel what he and his friends have already planned, he already knows that no one will be able to watch DD, he'll look like an ass when I leave early and he stays but will look even more like an ass if I don't show up at all because I only go out with him every few months.... on and on. I let him continue his hissy fit and then I had it. I laid into him. 

I told him that he was being childish in every way possible, that when he wanted to have this conversation as an adult that I will make sure and have the time for him, but until then he could very sweetly kiss my ass. When he eventually calmed down I told him how I felt since obviously every comment I made earlier was in one ear and out the other as soon as I said them. He wants me to go but at the same time telling me not to come because I don't want to be there until 3am like he wants to. I work 6 days a week, 40+ hours running my families business, then when I'm not working I devout my time to our DD and him. Not to mention taking care of the animals, house, the bills.... so yea.... I'm completely drained come Saturday afternoon. Yes, up until about a year ago (if that) I was going out twice a month at most with him or my sister. But who was up with DD the very next morning? Who was going straight from work to the park with DD to get some time in with her before dropping her off at her Grandmother's for the night and racing back Sunday midday to get her - or racing home to clean the house before the sitter get's there? Hmm... I wonder.

At this point I was finally able to tell him that in the last 20 minutes since the conversation first began that I hadn't had time to ask my BM about watching her because I've been dealing with customers and him. That I was sure that she would have no problem watching DD since it's been a few since she was last with her. I told him that whether I go or not didn't really matter to me at that point because he's always had his own plans for his birthday without me. Well no, one year he and I and his "BFF" went bar/restaraunt hopping on the beach. Was a waste of my gas, I ended up paying for nearly everything - I was more like a third wheel trying to enjoy myself and celebrate his day. 

He finally calmed down and said that he just wanted to have a good time and wanted me to be there. I told him I do a lot for him even when I don't want to - that maybe he should celebrate that night with his friends and then myself, him and DD will do something the following day for his birthday when he finally decides to get out of bed. I hated being such a bitch about it and I told him that - but with some of the things that he said really hurt and pissed me off... that he had blown things way out of proportion in the beginning and that it made me automatically put my guard up and be a bitch. Said that I would think about the rest of the day and to pretty much back off and I would see him when he got home. 


Ugh . . . . it's been a day and his blubbering didn't help . . . . . . . 


Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers

by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 4:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mrsbrand
by Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 4:21 PM
1 mom liked this

**HUGS** It'll get better, and I hope it works out that you guys can both celebrate his birthday in a way you can both enjoy. 

Garnet_Iris11
by Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 4:25 PM

Thanks .. some days I swear that I am raising two children rather than one. 

Quoting mrsbrand:

**HUGS** It'll get better, and I hope it works out that you guys can both celebrate his birthday in a way you can both enjoy. 


mrsbrand
by Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 4:29 PM
Everyone has their days. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day for you :)

Quoting Garnet_Iris11:

Thanks .. some days I swear that I am raising two children rather than one. 

Quoting mrsbrand:

**HUGS** It'll get better, and I hope it works out that you guys can both celebrate his birthday in a way you can both enjoy. 

Garnet_Iris11
by Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 4:33 PM

Right!?!?! LOL I'm hoping tomorrow will be a better day ... suppose to have the day off so DD and I can visit my brother and his family that we haven't seen in ages!!! 

Quoting mrsbrand: Everyone has their days. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day for you :)
Quoting Garnet_Iris11:

Thanks .. some days I swear that I am raising two children rather than one. 

Quoting mrsbrand:

**HUGS** It'll get better, and I hope it works out that you guys can both celebrate his birthday in a way you can both enjoy. 


mrsbrand
by Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 4:35 PM
Aw! That sounds like a blast! I get to see my big brother tomorrow too, I am almost as excited about that as I am about my sons birthday party.

Quoting Garnet_Iris11:

Right!?!?! LOL I'm hoping tomorrow will be a better day ... suppose to have the day off so DD and I can visit my brother and his family that we haven't seen in ages!!! 

Quoting mrsbrand: Everyone has their days. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day for you :)

Quoting Garnet_Iris11:

Thanks .. some days I swear that I am raising two children rather than one. 

Quoting mrsbrand:

**HUGS** It'll get better, and I hope it works out that you guys can both celebrate his birthday in a way you can both enjoy. 

Garnet_Iris11
by Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 4:57 PM

Yup. They only live 2 miles from us - but with our schedules and kids being on and off sick it's been hard. We used to see each other every day when his business was still open a few doors from our business. It's been hard on DD to not see them as much as she used to - so to be sneaky I haven't told her we're going to visit them. LOL

Awe yay!!! Birthdays!!!! How old will he be?! What are the bday plans? DD is 3.5, but I get as excited as I was for her first bday when I'm getting her party together. I don't know what it is about LO's bday party's that are so much more exciting than older kids. LOL My oldest nephew turned 13 a few months back... had a friend over and went to the movies. 

Quoting mrsbrand: Aw! That sounds like a blast! I get to see my big brother tomorrow too, I am almost as excited about that as I am about my sons birthday party.
Quoting Garnet_Iris11:

Right!?!?! LOL I'm hoping tomorrow will be a better day ... suppose to have the day off so DD and I can visit my brother and his family that we haven't seen in ages!!! 

Quoting mrsbrand: Everyone has their days. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day for you :)
Quoting Garnet_Iris11:

Thanks .. some days I swear that I am raising two children rather than one. 

Quoting mrsbrand:

**HUGS** It'll get better, and I hope it works out that you guys can both celebrate his birthday in a way you can both enjoy. 


mrsbrand
by Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 5:09 PM
1 mom liked this
He turned one Wednesday :) I'm a proud, proud momma! We are having a small party here, family and a couple friends. I'm making both the guest cake and his smash cake and doing his photos. This year for my three year olds party I was stupid excited too lol.

Quoting Garnet_Iris11:

Yup. They only live 2 miles from us - but with our schedules and kids being on and off sick it's been hard. We used to see each other every day when his business was still open a few doors from our business. It's been hard on DD to not see them as much as she used to - so to be sneaky I haven't told her we're going to visit them. LOL

Awe yay!!! Birthdays!!!! How old will he be?! What are the bday plans? DD is 3.5, but I get as excited as I was for her first bday when I'm getting her party together. I don't know what it is about LO's bday party's that are so much more exciting than older kids. LOL My oldest nephew turned 13 a few months back... had a friend over and went to the movies. 

Quoting mrsbrand: Aw! That sounds like a blast! I get to see my big brother tomorrow too, I am almost as excited about that as I am about my sons birthday party.

Quoting Garnet_Iris11:

Right!?!?! LOL I'm hoping tomorrow will be a better day ... suppose to have the day off so DD and I can visit my brother and his family that we haven't seen in ages!!! 

Quoting mrsbrand: Everyone has their days. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day for you :)

Quoting Garnet_Iris11:

Thanks .. some days I swear that I am raising two children rather than one. 

Quoting mrsbrand:

**HUGS** It'll get better, and I hope it works out that you guys can both celebrate his birthday in a way you can both enjoy. 

Garnet_Iris11
by Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 5:23 PM

Oh a Happy First Birthday!! AHHH!!! Even better!!!! Simple is best with their First.. always time for the big parties later. :-) DD didn't care for her smash cake - swirled her spoon in it. Still not much a sweet tooth. LOL 

Quoting mrsbrand: He turned one Wednesday :) I'm a proud, proud momma! We are having a small party here, family and a couple friends. I'm making both the guest cake and his smash cake and doing his photos. This year for my three year olds party I was stupid excited too lol.
Quoting Garnet_Iris11:

Yup. They only live 2 miles from us - but with our schedules and kids being on and off sick it's been hard. We used to see each other every day when his business was still open a few doors from our business. It's been hard on DD to not see them as much as she used to - so to be sneaky I haven't told her we're going to visit them. LOL

Awe yay!!! Birthdays!!!! How old will he be?! What are the bday plans? DD is 3.5, but I get as excited as I was for her first bday when I'm getting her party together. I don't know what it is about LO's bday party's that are so much more exciting than older kids. LOL My oldest nephew turned 13 a few months back... had a friend over and went to the movies. 

Quoting mrsbrand: Aw! That sounds like a blast! I get to see my big brother tomorrow too, I am almost as excited about that as I am about my sons birthday party.
Quoting Garnet_Iris11:

Right!?!?! LOL I'm hoping tomorrow will be a better day ... suppose to have the day off so DD and I can visit my brother and his family that we haven't seen in ages!!! 

Quoting mrsbrand: Everyone has their days. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day for you :)
Quoting Garnet_Iris11:

Thanks .. some days I swear that I am raising two children rather than one. 

Quoting mrsbrand:

**HUGS** It'll get better, and I hope it works out that you guys can both celebrate his birthday in a way you can both enjoy. 


Goodybag1
by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 5:38 PM
It's never good to communicate with a frustrated man IMO. Let it calm down & be ready to address again with a solution.;) good luck.
Garnet_Iris11
by Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 8:04 PM
Exactly. That's why I told him that I would talk to him later about it. When he gets going long enough to really tick me off, it ends up in an arguement match and I hate it. He's now calmer about it since. Told him that a lot of it was because of his stress at work and it was unfair to me for him to let it flow over to something so simple between us. He agreed and said that he'd work on it. So we'll see. LOL

Quoting Goodybag1: It's never good to communicate with a frustrated man IMO. Let it calm down & be ready to address again with a solution.;) good luck.
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