Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The Venting Booth The Venting Booth

I'm on my last straw.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 36 Replies
This has all been building up for so long. I feel like my husband is making me loose my mind.
Let's start with the first thing that set me off....
Christmas.. He buys me a car starter to have installed. Well the person that installed it completely messed up my car, I still haven't had it fixed because I don't have 3,000 to get it fixed. He got HIS money back from the car starter... Never replaced my gift nor did he offer to help pay for my damages. I would feel like the biggest jerk if this happened to him and would make it right!!!

Mother's Day... I got a card.... Needless to say I had bought him a 200 dollar golf club that he requested! That was a huge smack in the face, obviously I'm worth nothing. I mean I only birthed your two children.

He gets to go and buy whatever he wants whenever he wants. I'm planning out first disney trip for the family, trying to save as much money as I can and he just doesn't care!

This week he decided to go ahead and buy a new set of golf clubs for $500, he had just bought his in April.

Am I being ridiculous here? I'm so hurt by his actions that I can't stand it. Talking to him is impossible because it just turns into a huge fight and everything gets turned on me and what a miserable person I am. I just need help here
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 27, 2014 at 11:30 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
offrdngal
by Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 11:35 AM
5 moms liked this

 I would definitely bitch and make him get the car fixed.  It was his gift that messed it up, it can be his money that pays to fix it.

From now on, don't buy anything for him.  The family trip...if he wants to go, he will get the car fixed.  I wouldn't want him to go on the trip anyway, with his piss-ass attitude.  My ex-h was like that.  I just stopped acknowledging the holidays and birthdays.  I wouldn't even get a card.  I got tired of being treated the way you are being treated.

Lindalou907
by Bronze Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 11:49 AM
1 mom liked this

You need couples counseling right now, he won't be able to turn it around and make everything your fault if someone is there to referee. Fix it before it's too late. If he wont go then YOU go, and learn some stategies for how to behave to get what you need.

Snakecharm
by Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 11:53 AM
Get on a written budget that you BOTH agree to that includes Spending money for both of you and vacation savings.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 27, 2014 at 12:03 PM
We have talked about therapy and never followed through with it. Honestly I can't see us sitting in a room trying to talk as adults. Every time we do attempt to talk about issues it turns into a war. Nothing gets solved, I never feel better.
As for a budget. We do have one. We each are given a certain amount of money every two weeks. He chooses to place items on his credit card (which his payment comes out or the account instead of his cash). I use my money on the children, if they want a special meal, things they need, etc.

He doesn't understand why I would even have the right to be upset about his choices. He always says when I do say something about what's bothering me I'm just ruining it for him.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 27, 2014 at 12:09 PM
She said he bought himself a $500 set of clubs.

Quoting Anonymous:

We teach others how to treat us. Your DH treats you like this and you buy him a $500 set of golf clubs?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 27, 2014 at 12:10 PM


Quoting Anonymous: She said he bought himself a $500 set of clubs.
Quoting Anonymous:

We teach others how to treat us. Your DH treats you like this and you buy him a $500 set of golf clubs?

Damn...My coffee didn't kick in. My bad!

Well he is real tool if he did that!

I would be livid if I were her!


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 27, 2014 at 12:14 PM

I wouldn't put up with his shenanigans. Tell him you want to sit down and discuss your finances in a calm fashion. Remind him if he starts yelling you will not tolerate it. I guess if he thinks he can get away with what he is doing he views you as powerless. I guess it all depends if you want to continue a marriage with a guy who acts like a bully. The ball is really in your court. Threaten to divorce him, (but only if you really want to and do it otherwise you look weak), Good luck.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 27, 2014 at 12:20 PM
I have considered divorce, and honestly I don't trust him with our children. I know he would never physically hurt them, but his words and tone of voice I don't trust.
Recently I took a new job to limit his alone time with the boys. I left a job I was happy at, just to please him and make sure my boys would have me home more.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 27, 2014 at 12:20 PM
I wanted to divorce my dh over selfishness so many times.

We were able to work through it but ultimatel he is NOT. A gifter, period. Only thinks of himself when buying things. Forever.

But he's good otherwise so hey.

Anyway, gl to you. And stop buying him things.
Bajanmama
by on Jul. 27, 2014 at 12:27 PM

Make him fix the car and don't give him anything big. I guess if the kids are looking forward to the trip I would still go but that's it.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)