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Relationship vent

Posted by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 1:19 AM
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My story is kind of long. But would like opinions & such. This is sort of a vent as well.


Let me start off by saying over 4 yrs ago i could care less on EVER getting married or having kids period. Maybe one day but never truly cared. Well 4yrs my bestfriend & I got together (we met in h.s. 4yrs before). &we soon after spoke about our future we already knew everything about eachother. We had always had a thing for eaachother but he had his gfs & i had my bfs. We spoke about kids & marraige. Well we are engaged & have been for basically as long as we have been together (4yrs). We were going to get married but bc of some of his issues we just called it off & decided that when we were in a better place in our relationship that then we would get married. Basically being together has change our "old" mind set of neither one of us wanting to get married etc. Let me say we have had many ups & downs like many couples including 2 break ups (in the 1st yr) plus 3mc the 1st 2.5yrs & a little more.. well now he wants to be brand new saying he doesn't believe in marriage & I'm like ok?? Now he doesn't say it directly to me he says it in front of his "people". I have written him a letter (since im better at writing my emotions than speaking them in some cases & even asked if he still loved me as muh as he did in the beginning) & he answered everything & didn't bring up marriage. But i just let it go bc he can't avoid the topic forever. But recently he mentioned IT again after what i written him. I had said that it hurts my feelings like wtf you know. This time it was in front of his aunt, she said something (didn't hear it) & he goes & says well she can get married but not me. So, im like great i have to leave u & start all over if i wanna get married aren't you sweet. &he just gives me his little asshole smirk. So i was like good to know you know the other kid/kids you can go have kids with some other chick &be happy with her bc personally i don't need to have more kids I'm good. (He wants like 4/5kids i said I'd compromise with3 & we have 2little girls now.) Now i know it's not cool to say stuff out of anger but it just pushed me over the edge that day. &that was basically the end of that convo. But we will be having a serious talk about all of this. Bc with all that being said it feels like the relationship itself wont go further than basically being bf/gf even though we are engaged.

Now pls don't get me wrong he works hard for our girls & myself. Treats us great & everything. Yes, we bicker/fight (not physically) but who doesn't? It just breaks my heart & mind like how would you go from wanting us to get married to "not" believing in marriage.

Well if yall read this far. Thank you for letting me vent. Anyways to approach this without sounding like im going to rip his head off? Pls try not to bash ladies.

Thank you,

Meli
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 1:19 AM
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Replies (1-2):
LillysMom12
by New Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 6:29 AM
1 mom liked this
Women can be cruel on here! Just looking to vent, I get that. I hope everything works out for you and he changes his mind. I guess this is why they say, "why buy the cow when you get the milk for free"... You gave him everything that he can expect from marriage so why make the lifelong. Commitment now? Just a thought....
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 30, 2014 at 1:10 PM
1 mom liked this

Ok, so your definition of love is completely backfiring in the form of your boyfriend. I want you to think of your BESTFRIEND (girl) and ask yourself - "IF she came to me telling me that this jackass was treating her like she wasn't worth it - how would I respond?" Honestly, you're worth more than what you're being given. You could find a man that could truly love you. Who the heck cares if you "have to start over". Wouldn't you rather be happy and have someone who couldn't wait to marry you? Self esteem check honey. You're the mother of his kids. Find someone who no matter what - only wants to treat you the way you deserve. Don't settle.

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