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Tired of him

Posted by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 2:45 PM
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1 mom liked this

Ok..so I have a almost four year old daughter. Her father lives in a different state than we do. My issues is that he does not make her a priorty in his life. He will do things for himself or take trips before he gives to his child. He complains about nevre having wnough money, but ssomehow seem to find a way to build him clothes and shoes that he wants.It has been things over time that he has done> Just a few months, he was on a trip and I told him to make sure he saves money to buy her bed. His response was he was not buying her a bed .Then right after that, he told me that he would not make it to her birthday party because his birthday was coming and he wanted to meet with "his" friends. Therefore, he would not have money for her bday. The lists goes on and on. He does helps with her, but he does burden half of things I do every day. he recently said, he may not be able to pay child care which is way to costly fo rme. I work currently as a contractor for  temp agency so things change unexpected; I do think he loves her, but she is not number one in his life.

What should I do ?


Thanks!


by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 2:45 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 30, 2014 at 4:11 PM

First, you DON'T need a man's help to raise your daughter. Second, if it's court ordered for him to pay for her - enforce it. If it's not, I suggest you file some paperwork and get his clothing budget under control with the help of the court. Third, there is a reason God made mommas. Because if most of the men were left to raise the babies - we'd be on the verge of extinction. You can't make someone WANT to be in your child's life. Her father sounds irresponsible and childish. I wouldn't put up with his crap for a second.

amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 4:51 PM

I agree with the above person.  If there is court ordered child support, and he's not paying, file for contempt.  If there is not a child support order, get yourself down and file for it ASAP.

Otherwise, you cannot force him to do anything.  That includes spending time with her, spending additional money on her, etc.

Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 5:05 PM

I think that with him being in another state and not living with you he's just not going to be as generous or involved with her as you would like, it is what it is, he's kinda selfish. You are not going to change him so I would lower your expectations and try not to let it bug you, I know it hurts you and your daughter, but you can also adjust your thinking if you try. Never bash him in front of your daughter either, she will figure it out on her own, later, and you just say something like "I'm sorry this happened" and let her vent. 

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