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I feel like a failure because I can't do my biracial child's hair..

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 109 Replies
I'm white and DH is black. We have a beautiful daughter. Lately, I've been really stressed out over hair hair. I can't do the pretty hairstyles that her cousins usually have (braids, twists etc). I feel like she'll resent me later on because of this. I'm worried I'll end up ruining her hair. I can't even make a straight part! I feel like a failure. Especially since black women always put down white women who can't do their mixed race child's hair properly. My DHs ex actually said I'm a bad mom because I don't know how to do my daughters hair and as a mother that is something I should know.

I try to practice but I just can't do it. I could never even do my own hair. It's just something I'm not good at :( whenever I try, I get really stressed out and upset. I don't get why it upsets me so much but it really is lately!
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 6, 2014 at 12:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
amonkeymom
by Silver Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 1:10 PM
1 mom liked this

Have you tried asking your DH's mom or sisters/sisters in law how to do it?  Tried learning from youtube videos?

You're not a failure, you just don't have that experience, yet.  You'll get there.

SWEET737
by Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 1:14 PM

keep practicing and keep looking at you tube videos. If she has a hair styling doll head at home, You should even practice on that. If you keep at it, it will finally come to you. What hair type does your daughter have? 

MrsWhite101610
by Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 1:15 PM
2 moms liked this
My daughter is biracial (I'm white as a ghost and my dh is black) I started off with pony tails braided. Slowly I just tried new things and figured it out. Now I can do twisties, box braids etc. I suggest asking his family to show you or taking her some place to have it done. Oh and when I do my daughter's hair it will last for about a week to 10 days so I don't have to do it daily.
LoveNaCupcake
by Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 1:15 PM

Youtube! Or look online for some hair blogs. Just practice, a lot. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 6, 2014 at 2:17 PM
1 mom liked this
She has loose ringlets. Her hair always falls out of braids by the end of the day :(. I'm also worried that braids would cause hair loss because her hair is more like mine. Do you think that would happen?

Quoting MrsWhite101610: My daughter is biracial (I'm white as a ghost and my dh is black) I started off with pony tails braided. Slowly I just tried new things and figured it out. Now I can do twisties, box braids etc. I suggest asking his family to show you or taking her some place to have it done. Oh and when I do my daughter's hair it will last for about a week to 10 days so I don't have to do it daily.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 6, 2014 at 2:19 PM
I've looked up a bunch of videos, it looks so easy until I try it lol. I doubt I will ever be good at doing hair. She has loose ringlet curls but it does get very dry and frizzy, especially in the morning.

Quoting SWEET737:

keep practicing and keep looking at you tube videos. If she has a hair styling doll head at home, You should even practice on that. If you keep at it, it will finally come to you. What hair type does your daughter have? 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 6, 2014 at 2:20 PM
1 mom liked this
His sisters are too catty. They probably think the same thing my DHs ex thinks. They'd think I'm a bad mom if I asked for help.

Quoting amonkeymom:

Have you tried asking your DH's mom or sisters/sisters in law how to do it?  Tried learning from youtube videos?

You're not a failure, you just don't have that experience, yet.  You'll get there.

Outspoken.Mime
by Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 2:20 PM
1 mom liked this

 Can you ask a relative to help you?  I wouldn't know how to style very curly hair either.

Outspoken.Mime
by Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 2:21 PM
3 moms liked this

 Ask them to style your hair and see how well they do.

Quoting Anonymous: His sisters are too catty. They probably think the same thing my DHs ex thinks. They'd think I'm a bad mom if I asked for help.
Quoting amonkeymom:

Have you tried asking your DH's mom or sisters/sisters in law how to do it?  Tried learning from youtube videos?

You're not a failure, you just don't have that experience, yet.  You'll get there.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 6, 2014 at 2:39 PM
Exactly! I understand they think someone shouldn't have a biracial child if they can't handle their hair but it's not like I was thinking about our future child's hair when I fell in love with DH. I doubt they could even do my DDs hair either though. It's nothing like their children's hair. It's more like mine just very curly.

Quoting Outspoken.Mime:

 Ask them to style your hair and see how well they do.


Quoting Anonymous: His sisters are too catty. They probably think the same thing my DHs ex thinks. They'd think I'm a bad mom if I asked for help.
Quoting amonkeymom:

Have you tried asking your DH's mom or sisters/sisters in law how to do it?  Tried learning from youtube videos?


You're not a failure, you just don't have that experience, yet.  You'll get there.


 

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