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Posted by on Aug. 9, 2014 at 8:51 AM
  • 80 Replies

OK here is the situation---

9 mo ago my son got his girlfriend pregnant. (I had posted about her not being very willing to have a DNA test done)

I guess around her 10th week pregnant she started to get physical with my son. He got out. Well along the way over these last months she has told him some crazy shit---she told him there was a possibility that the baby could have been fathered by """3""""   yes I said """""3"""""other guys. She came up with some really waked out situations. A lot of it over social media, text, and calls. I was disappointed that he was not going to her appt but know regret feeling that way--He was trying to protect his self.But through out he wanted to be in the delivery just in case it was his and she wanted him there or so she said. Also I do not think he truly grasped that his life was totaly about to slap him in the face.

So my son moves on and has a girlfriend now. She has been very supportive of him. She kept telling him how he needs to be in the room or you will regret not being there.

She has also moved on---She has dated I believe5 or 6 guys---To each his own. She has had this new one living with her at her parents house for about a month or so. 

So Through out her pregnancy I have stood by her and helped her in anyway i could. I was there for her to a point it caused some problems in my home. I told everyone the reason I was doing this was so no one could accuse us of not being here for her! I made sure she got to her DR appt, had her meds---just got her out of the house to keep from going crazy (she already is) I also talked her into a DNA test. As of this past Tuesday the 5Th she was still up for the DNA. My son and I had spoke to one of the social workers for my states division of child support enforcement about opening a case when the baby is born. My son wants to open it and he is only 16 will be 17 next month. With him opening a case they will do a DNA test that will be a lot easier on us----also it will show initiative that my son wants to do the right thing by his son.


My beautiful grandson was born Wednesday evening via c-section. My son rushed up to the hospital only to be told he was not going in but new BF was. He was devastated and to make matters worse one of his friends pasted away about an hr before. My son was not in a good way. So he excused himself. After calming down he went to meet his son for  the very first time. When we went into the room the boy friend handed my grandson to my son. The boyfriend then proceeded to tell my son that he wants everything to be cool because he understands that is the biological dad---BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!

I am blind-sided!!!!I go to pay for his circumcision and she has listed the boyfriend as the father on the birth certificate!!

I am beyond pissed. The day before she told me ---"Don't worry Momma I want (my son) on the BC!!

So know they will see a side of me that I do not let out that often. 

I have to tell you about this family and their living conditions. I have went out of my way to help her mom when I could--None of them work. I can not tell you how many times I have brought over food because they had none. For weeks I kept trying to take her to sign up for food stamps. I finally told her that until she wanted to help herself i could not help her.

The house smells like shit and urine--There are 2 doys in the house that are not trained and infested with fleas along with two kittens in the same condition.There are places on the floor where it is soft due to the moisture. The entire place is covered in black mold. Dirty dishes are pilled upon eachother. Ants streaming in all over the place. Roaches everywhere. You can see through different areas in the floor to the ground!

I had called DHS earlier this summer--they just interviewed them at the office. Now The social worker from the hospital is also involved. My son and I are going back up to the child support enforcment on Monday. I want to see if we can still get here to do a dna test through them. I am going to try to talk with her later today. I hope she will still see it as a way to make sure my grandson get the support that he deserves and that his father is the one held responsible>

I have been up all night absolutely sick thinking my grandson is in that filth! I just know that he is going to get sick. I would not be surprised if he ends up covered in bug bits. I am just so worried about him. My heart is hurting. Iwill go to hell and back for my son--and grandson. Like I had said earlier I have been there through out the pregnncy and would do it again---But now that my grandson is here I will do whatever it takes to get my sons name on the B.C. Plus we are going for full custody!!

I know a lot of you would say that is terrible but I need to make sure that baby is safe--I guess I just needed to bitch a little.

Do you think I am in the wrong for the way I am feeling?????

by on Aug. 9, 2014 at 8:51 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Bronze Member on Aug. 9, 2014 at 9:45 AM

Awwww good luck momma what a horrible situation. 

by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 9, 2014 at 10:07 AM
6 moms liked this

I know you aren't going to like see this, but maybe it is for the best.  The girl is, for all intents and purposes, a little slut, has slept around repeatedly before, during and since your son, and has NO clue who the father of her child is.  Maybe she thinks that she can get child support from 2 sources~you and the boy who is on the BC.  TBH, I hope your son is NOT shown to be the bio dad and he can step back from this toxic girl and her family so he can move on to someone better WHEN he's more mature and able to handle the responsibilities of fatherhood.

by on Aug. 9, 2014 at 12:17 PM
11 moms liked this

HIRE A LAWYER, NOW. I work with dads who are thwarted fathers. Get court ordered DNA, and then the BC changed. Do it now, do not wait. 

by Bronze Member on Aug. 9, 2014 at 12:19 PM
I would do the same in your shoes. Clearly she is not stable enough to be a mother.
by Member on Aug. 9, 2014 at 12:35 PM
Honey get an attorney, like asap. I understand your frustration. I can't imaging what your child is going thru; that's a lot to handle, especially at his age.
What has come from the DNA test? Anything set up yet?
by Member on Aug. 9, 2014 at 1:18 PM
1 mom liked this

Depending on what state & the laws- the BF could be stuck with paying support now that he is listed as the father. I'm willing to bet he didn't think about that! He could have to pay to take a DNA test to prove he isn't the father. BUT some states don't allow a name to be taken off the BC until the proper name can be added. In other words- someone has to be accountable for this child as the father. He was willing to do it so then he should have to pay the price so to speak. 

I feel bad for your DS though. He could go get rights by the courts, but he would have to prove he is the father & his name would get put on the BC. I'm sure your DS is ok with that, as he should be if he wants to be a father to this child. Also.... maybe look into proving she is an unfit mother & your DS getting custody of their child? IDK... best of luck to you though!

by Member on Aug. 9, 2014 at 1:29 PM
1 mom liked this


No, but i would be asing for the DNA. that child could be anyone's and you're investing so much of yourself. here... what if it's not your grandchild except in spirit? 

by Bronze Member on Aug. 9, 2014 at 1:33 PM
2 moms liked this

If the new boyfriend was not around at the time of conception an knows the child is not his both he and mom have committed a crime. It says it on the paternity affidavit and will be changed at the time of the DNA test. You or your son can pursue charges of fraud if you so desire to. 

I would definitely get the test and then immediately have your son file for joint (or sole if that would be better) custody once it comes back. 

by Bronze Member on Aug. 9, 2014 at 2:27 PM
1 mom liked this

I would do the same thing, if CS office won't do it, get a lawyer and get Court ordered DNA test. If their house is really in that condition call the cops and as for a well check to be done on the child, or call CPS. 

by Member on Aug. 9, 2014 at 3:51 PM
1 mom liked this

No you are so right, I raised 2 of my 3 grand daughters because of drug abuse and neglect, they are part of you too and you need to do your best to see they are OK. Someone else needs to call CPS. send me a message and I will give you my email and tell you what steps to take next. MY former SIL went thru this with his 2nd wife and it was a night mare.

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