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If you stand near my ASD child... he will talk to you... (sorta s/o) May be long to some

Posted by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 7:03 PM
  • 19 Replies

So I have in I dont know how many replies in another post. Mentioned Personal Space and Perception. 


Quote:

per·cep·tion

   [per-sep-shuhn]  Show IPA

noun
1.
the act or faculty of perceivingor apprehending by means ofthe senses or of the mind; cognition; 
understanding.
2.
immediate or intuitive recognition or appreciation, as of moral,psychological, 
or aesthetic qualities; insightintuition;discernment: an artist of rare perception.
3.
the result or product of perceiving, as distinguished from the actof perceiving; percept.
4.
Psychology a single unified awareness derived from sensoryprocesses while a stimulus is present.


and

personal space

noun
the variable and subjective distance at which one person feels comfortable talking to another.
Also called personal distance.

Now most are obviously going to be on either side of the fence , and thats fine. Because that in itself is your Perception of the situation, as well as your Personal Space in which you may feel comfortable.


Now why may you ask do I "GAF" ? Well its more of a personal education. My oldest child has ASD, although High Functioning. He also is hyperactive, many people perceive him as "rude".  Sadly though he has ZERO social cue marks that many of us learn. Just by standing one to two feet from my son, you may get his on-slot of what he perceives a Socially Normal. He is literally in behavioral therapy to teach him personal space, human emotions, emotional responses, and what they look like corresponding with what they mean.  

Example: You are standing behind us in the grocery check out, you look at my son... to him this means "oh this person wants to talk to me", which then is followed by in one breath mind you.  

" Hi! Im five , my names jude, like my new shoes? I was playing pokemon on my ds, and got a gem, oh your shoes are blue do you like blue? I like candy but my mom says to much makes me hyper, I have two younger brothers." 

This is often followed by stares, or dirty looks at me. But I stopped caring what other people thought of my son during these interactions, and what they may think of me as his parent. Hell at times I often say "Woh son slow down". I stopped caring because of individual perception, no one, and I mean no one can change how things are perceived. Obviously if this person takes the time, I will explain. But often then they just blank out, which is fine. 

I though hard am teaching my DS who starts Kinder this year , that sadly no, not everyone cares about pokemon, or your new spiderman shoes, or your hot wheels..That no not everyone wants to talk, and most of all we have to stand a little further back, and talk a little more quiet than that. 

So ya Perception, and Personal Space, though common knowledge are often misunderstood Ironically due to Perception itself. 


*steps of soap box"




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by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 7:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
1TallMamaCA
by Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 7:06 PM

And before this becomes some "oh you're attacking me" or whatever since its sort of a spin off.. no I am not "attacking" anyone... I have been quoted, and liked.. and have made replies, and some replies are getting lost, since obviously not everyone wants to read through 100+ replies. So just being lazy, making a spin off, so I dont have to keep writing it over and over.


Also I really am trying to get out of making dinner because its hot, and I am 7 months pregnant. Hoping if i procrastinate just long enough DH will be ok with take out.  

lulumomof2
by Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 7:11 PM
2 moms liked this

If I was in line and your son started talking to me, it wouldn't bother me and I certainly wouldn't be rude to him nor think he was being rude to me. He is 5 yrs old, he is just a little boy and there is no need to be rude to him. I wouldn't stare blankly I would probably say something back to him asking him what a gem on pokemon is, or tell him that I too, have 2 younger brothers. I know if my sons were with me (16 and almost 14 yrs) they stand there talking to him too!


.

Sorry you and your son have encountered people who were less than understanding. 

.


Dobermans are like Potato chips, nobody can have just one!

1TallMamaCA
by Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 7:18 PM

Ya its ok that it happens though, and that what i have tried explaining in another post. But it seems to be that it gets lost. 

lol some have laughed , and i just say "sorry hes autistic", then turn to my ds and say "little slower baby". 

To me they arent "rude", maybe because I took some basic psych classes, and child development classes during my "oh I am 18 and going to be this stage" lol I also did culanry school OT I know but, to me its normal and something we all develop due to a large amount of factors as children. 

But I dont see either side as rude. . . maybe i am the strange one. I think my pregnancy brain is thinking to much as well.. or possible heat exhustion lol

Quoting lulumomof2:

If I was in line and your son started talking to me, it wouldn't bother me and I certainly wouldn't be rude to him nor think he was being rude to me. He is 5 yrs old, he is just a little boy and there is no need to be rude to him. I wouldn't stare blankly I would probably say something back to him asking him what a gem on pokemon is, or tell him that I too, have 2 younger brothers. I know if my sons were with me (16 and almost 14 yrs) they stand there talking to him too!


.

Sorry you and your son have encountered people who were less than understanding. 

.



Bieg9093
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 7:18 PM
Perhaps you could teach him to ask "Hello, my name's Jude. Would you enjoy some polite conversation?"
1TallMamaCA
by Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 7:22 PM


Quoting Bieg9093: Perhaps you could teach him to ask "Hello, my name's Jude. Would you enjoy some polite conversation?"

Oh he is in three therapies a week, just to work on this and other behaviors. Behavioral , group, and personal. 

He is also on two meds, to try and control some of his behaviors. He has violent self harming behaviors as well, and at times his face is covered in scratches, or bruises. 

Right now we are working on a simple " Hi", and to wait to see if the person would like to talk. 

1TallMamaCA
by Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 7:26 PM

Well my attempts at getting out of making dinner failed... so now is when this will likely take off and i will log on in an hour or two to way to many replies.. or it will die. 


mrsbrand
by Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 7:29 PM
Lol!!! I've had that happen to me and ended up asking which Pokemon they were playing because blue is by far my favorite. The mom looked shocked as hell lol.
recanada
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 7:31 PM
2 moms liked this

 He sounds like a very friendly little boy! I'd love to stand by him. :) I could give him a run for his money and talk his ear off too. The way you make it sound is that he is being friendly in ways that people just aren't use to. It doesn't sound like he's the one being rude. If people can't be friendly and have a conversation with a little boy, they're the rude ones. But then again, I have been around and worked with so many autistic and developmentally disabled kids, I would probably pick up on it and have a great time with him. :) Hang in there! I wouldn't make excuses for him to people though, especially in front of him if it's only this kind of talking, even talking people's ears off. Give him the chance to learn to read people's reactions. If they scowl, teach him that your hand on his shoulder means to look at their face and he should stop talking and maybe tell you a story instead. You don't want him to begin to feel something is wrong with him.

1TallMamaCA
by Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 7:32 PM


Quoting mrsbrand: Lol!!! I've had that happen to me and ended up asking which Pokemon they were playing because blue is by far my favorite. The mom looked shocked as hell lol.

was it a blonde child lol do you live in the LA county area? it may have been my little guy lol


I blame myself and so does DH.. we're nerds.. I worse than DH. So it kinda just got put in all my boys brains, and now they are becoming obsessed 

1TallMamaCA
by Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 7:34 PM

Ya he does the "normal" no eye contact, so I usually will give him a pep talk when he is saddened by the rejection.  I usually just say "little slower buddy" lol I will try the shoulder thing though. 

Quoting recanada:

 He sounds like a very friendly little boy! I'd love to stand by him. :) I could give him a run for his money and talk his ear off too. The way you make it sound is that he is being friendly in ways that people just aren't use to. It doesn't sound like he's the one being rude. If people can't be friendly and have a conversation with a little boy, they're the rude ones. But then again, I have been around and worked with so many autistic and developmentally disabled kids, I would probably pick up on it and have a great time with him. :) Hang in there! I wouldn't make excuses for him to people though, especially in front of him if it's only this kind of talking, even talking people's ears off. Give him the chance to learn to read people's reactions. If they scowl, teach him that your hand on his shoulder means to look at their face and he should stop talking and maybe tell you a story instead. You don't want him to begin to feel something is wrong with him.


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