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Thank you cards. SERIOUSLY

Posted by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 9:57 AM
  • 236 Replies
1 mom liked this
So my grandma passed away Tuesday the 5th and we put her to rest on Monday. Ever since she passed all my grandpa has wanted was to be alone so he can grieve in his own way and process it. Now the first 2 days everybody was afraid to leave him alone myself included. But the day she died everybody started telling him what to do. What food for the funeral he needed to get. So Monday we laid her to rest and Tuesday my aunt came over and was trying to make my grandpa sign thank you cards for those in attendance and those who sent flowers/food etc. which is to 400+ people. My grandfather has t had a second to even process that she is gone let alone grieve. He told her he wasn't ready yet she kept insisting. To me this is not needed nobody expects a thank you card after the funeral. Right?? Maybe we are wrong ?
by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 9:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Mandymb
by Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 9:59 AM
18 moms liked this
I have never heard of sending thank you cards to people for attending a funeral. Seems odd.
lucky2Beeme
by Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 10:03 AM
5 moms liked this

Yes I was brought up you thank people that sent Flowers or food. Its no different than when someone performs some other nicety.

1plustwinsmommy
by Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 10:08 AM
19 moms liked this
Yes send thank you cards. But wait until he's ready. People don't expect thank you cards immediately.

Edit: I'd only send thank you notes to those who sent food, flowers, or something such as that, not simply because they attended the funeral.
ugh...whatever
by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 10:34 AM
9 moms liked this

I don't think thank you cards are to be given for funeral type stuff. Baby showers, wedding gifts, birthday presents, yes. Funeral flowers, no. That is ridiculous.

amonkeymom
by Silver Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:12 PM
2 moms liked this

I agree with this.  It's not a necessity, but it is nice to acknowledge those who were there to offer support.

Quoting 1plustwinsmommy: Yes send thank you cards. But wait until he's ready. People don't expect thank you cards immediately.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:15 PM
3 moms liked this
She needs to leave him alone and let him grieve. People will and should understand.
sheramom4
by Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:15 PM
7 moms liked this

Sending thank you cards is a nice gesture but one, it should be done by Grandpa only when and if he is ready and desires to and two, can be done by your Aunt instead. There is no rule that the spouse has to be the one that sends the cards. A general thank you from the family, unsigned by any individual is fine. 

When my dad passed away I sent the thank you cards from our family. My mom barely made it into the memorial service and it would have been months before she was ready. It's been seven years and she just got rid of his clothes and such about 18 months ago. 

jackiewal10
by Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:20 PM

I actually know a lot of people who send cards after a funeral.  I don't really know why...  However, it's typically NOT the spouse who sends the cards.  For example, my husbands uncle died this past spring.  We received a thank you from his immediate family.  (The widow and her adult children - DH's cousins.  The uncle was about 80).  They were electronically printed and signed and had a return address of one of my husbands cousins.  No one needed to sign anything.  The company did it all, including mailing them out.

happinessforyou
by Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 3:12 PM
1 mom liked this

Of course you send a "Thank You" card to someone who did something for you. Why wouldn't you?

He just doesn't have to do so in the first 5 minutes.

Give him a week or 2-he might be more receptive to it. GL

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 13, 2014 at 3:31 PM
3 moms liked this

Yes, it's customary to send thank you cards to those who offered flowers, food, special support, memorial donations, etc.  No, it doesn't need to be done immediately.  And most importantly, Grandpa doesn't need to sign them.  Another family member (oh, say, the pushy aunt) can send them, "Sincerely, The Smith Family" or "With Gratitude, The Family of Ethel Smith".  If food, flowers, etc. were sent by a group (church, business, club, organization, etc.), then one card can be addressed to the group. 


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