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I kicked out DH

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 28 Replies
...until he decides to sober up.

I hope with all of my heart that this is temporary, but he does NOT want to stop drinking. He insists that separating is the last thing he wants to do, but still won't entertain the idea of AA or sobriety.

So, I did what everyone has insisted I needed to do for years now and kicked him out. He's living with his brother now (who also just went through a divorce, so I'm sure the two of them are having a great time bonding over their hatred for women right now), and I told m he isn't allowed back until he has proven he's making steps to recover. No more of this "I'll cut back to only two beers a night" bull shit; I need proof. I want to see that he's been going, I want to hear from his brother that he's detoxing, and I want to know that he's committed and won't just go back to it once I let him back.

God, I hope this is temporary. It's so hard and confusing for our girls (4 and 6) and I don't know what to tell them. Not to mention scary as shit for me.

Damn, this sucks.
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 17, 2014 at 5:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 17, 2014 at 5:28 PM

BUMP!

Jade_Lynn
by on Aug. 17, 2014 at 5:32 PM
3 moms liked this
I feel for you. Unfortunantly, and I think you know this. You can't make him stop, no matter what you do. He has to make the choice and it seems he has. That being said, you did right by yourself because his addiction will affect you.
GL and stay strong!!
seximami111
by on Aug. 17, 2014 at 5:36 PM

Stay strong!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 17, 2014 at 9:44 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 17, 2014 at 10:06 PM

I wish we were in a place to do that.....good luck...

VinVanMom
by Bronze Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 10:11 PM

You might like this song..

ceejaysmama19
by on Aug. 17, 2014 at 10:30 PM

 he sounds like an alcoholic, unfortunatly there is nothing you can do about it. I have a few family members that are/were alcoholics and you just have to hope they may the right decisions but in the mean time you have to do what is best for your girls and distance them from it but dont lie to them about it either.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 18, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Quoting ceejaysmama19:

 he sounds like an alcoholic, unfortunatly there is nothing you can do about it. I have a few family members that are/were alcoholics and you just have to hope they may the right decisions but in the mean time you have to do what is best for your girls and distance them from it but dont lie to them about it either.


They're so confused. They asked when daddy's coming back, and I told them that I miss him, too, but that I don't want him back until he stops drinking alcohol, but they're so young, they have no idea WHY it's bad to begin with. They just know that daddy says mean things to mommy sometimes, but that mommy makes daddy cry, too, so this is obviously terribly confusing for them.

He was talking to my youngest on speaker phone today and, when my dd asked when he's coming back, he just said "soon, sweetie". I don't know what that means -- like if he's working on changing or just convinced that I'll just take his word for it (again) and then slip back into old habits.

My heart breaks. I feel like such a bad person for putting my girls through this. I hope with all of my heart that this I just a (really) rough spot in our relationship, but I'm prepared to lawyer up and get out if I have to.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 18, 2014 at 12:19 AM
3 moms liked this

I wish I had the nerve you have! Stay strong! I can't bring myself to do it. Mine isn't mean though when he drinks. But it's a gallon of beer 7 days a week and I know it's hurting him physically. He has high blood pressure and heart problems. He snores so loudly that it wakes neighbors, not to mention what it does to me. I have so many health issues that I need my sleep but I don't get it. It hurts our sex life too. I just have to keep on going and remind myself that it's his addiction talking. He knows he doesn't snore when sober and we would HAVE a sex life if he quit. But he doesn't care and some days I feel like it's me. You stay strong and stick to your guns. Your girls won't understand at this age but someday they will thank you. Remind yourself it's better to do this now while they're young than to wait until they're older.

Ctink8189
by New Member on Aug. 18, 2014 at 1:14 AM
2 moms liked this
Good for you! Rest assured you are making the right move. If his family is more important than alcohol then he will do what needs to be done to come back home. I know the fear of that not happening is heartbreaking and overwhelming for you but sometimes this is the kind of treatment people need in order to wake up. As a person who grew up in a home where my parents drank VERY heavily I cannot commend you enough for doing this. I saw way more than I should have seen as a child.
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