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The Venting Booth The Venting Booth

UPDATE! My mother said I can't have my baby back!!!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 71 Replies
Really long. sorry! Here's something that happened to me just last Tuesday and just now came to a close today....in a recommended kidnapping kind of way. I'm on bedrest so my mom has been in town helping out off and on over the last month as well as other family members and friends. Last Tuesday, She was going to take my 12 month old to Houston for a few days to help me rest. We got her stuff packed up and then mom looked at me and started saying crazy things like how she was going to change things about my "parenting" while she had her away from me including her entire diet of what I feed her and her sleep and nap pattern!!! I was shocked and then livid. The dr says I'm doing everything right and i don't want it changed, period. I feed her well, fruits, veggies, meats, lots of gerber stuff and she sleeps 10-12 hours a night with a morning nap and sometimes an afternoon one depending on activity level. My mom just said she poops too much and she "doesn't want to change that many poops while she has her." Um, no?! I told her right there as they were ready to go that if she even changed one single thing that I would not let her take her all. I feed her well, and i have worked VERY hard on her sleep schedule as I NEED her to be sleeping well like she is since I have a new baby due anytime and need a schedule. Well, she said she would not change of that then and so i said ok and they left. Then She said she would have her back to me this past Sunday night which is when my husband and I decided that's when we wanted her back (this was our daughters and our first time being apart over night EVER and it was to be from Tuesday to Sunday, and that's it, so it was already hard on me). Well she shows up randomly, no call, Friday in town by HERSELF (the friday in between that tuesday and sunday) WITHOUT my baby and said she dropped her off with my husbands parents who live in the same city as them!!! without informing us or asking us! She said they were gonna watch her over the weekend, but that my baby would still be back in town as of Sunday night, in two nights, as promised. So, we were like, um, ok. but still upset she didn't inform us of her coming into town randomly or of who she left the baby with. Well, my mom STAYED the entire weekend doing random shit around the house that didn't need to be done and driving all over austin looking for "possible future campsites to put their RV" and NEVER went back to Houston the whole weekend to pick up my daughter like she promised so she would be home with me by Sunday night. Monday morning of this week comes and my husband and I are now VERY upset as we haven't ever been away from her this long yet and my mom went back on her word on how long she would be gone from us and also dropped her off at my husbands parents without even asking us if that was ok! So, I send my mom home immediately Monday and told her she needed to drive back to Houston, pick up my daughter and have her back to me ASAP. Yes it's a three hour drive, but I don't care at this point. I feel she deliberately came up here and stayed to make it impossible for her to be there so she wouldn't be able to bring her to us Sunday night. I feel like it was planned in her mind. She DOES NOT dictate that I don't get to have my daughter back when we say for her to be back. So, she goes home Monday and does NOT come back, but instead calls me Tuesday night at 9:30pm after i couldn't get ahold of her ALL DAY Monday or tuesday and told me she can't bring her back this entire whole week either bc her week is "too busy" with her having to pay bills and other shit I'm sure she was using as an excuse. I flipped! A whole other week? Hell no. U will not take my daughter for a designsted 5 days and then decide on ur own to turn it into 2 weeks. Half a month, her first time away from home, and she's only 12 months with no asking me whatsoever. just TELLING me thats the way it was going to be! I gave it to her bad on the phone and she starts playing the victim "I'm trying to help u out so u can rest", and "what so now I'm the bad guy?". Yes! U are! My husband is also very attached to our daughter and has been visibly upset by all this. Then, her exact words on that call were "just let things happen". Wtf does that mean? No, I'm the mom, u took my child and I want her back when i say i want her back. I will NOT "let it happen." Well the next day I call my FIL to see if he can go grab her from my mom and drive her back to austin as its now wednesday! i find out on the phone with him that he and MIL STILL have her! My mom went back to Houston as I demanded for her to get my daughter and bring her straight back that same day on monday, and its now Wednesday and she has been back there for 3 days now and never even went by their house to get her!! I am fucking livid with my mother. Well, thank goodness for good inlaws bc my FIL right then took off work, drove home to get the baby where my MIL was with her and brought her straight here to Austin and now she is back home where we wanted her 4 days ago on Sunday! So, now my moms mad and has called me 3 times today saying "I was gonna bring her back this upcoming Saturday like I told u!" I told her, SHE doesn't get to tell me anything when it comes to withholding my daughter from me and won't get to TELL me anything anymore, that my husband and I decide, and if it can't be followed, u lose ur privileges. Did I over react, or am I correct for having my FIL bring her back up. I feel that needed to happen since I feel she planned on keeping her a lot longer than the 5 days from the beginning and was being sneaky and conniving about it.


UPDATE:
I did go ahead and file a report today on my mom. AND....

Sooooo, u know how in the post I said my mom was randomly up here in our city driving around looking for an RV place? Well, turns out she BOOKED a spot and will be bringing the RV up here to stay for TWO MONTHS since I'm "about to have another baby" and she wants to help out and have my kids stay with her on the lake during this time. I am so annoyed! This would be great if she was a normal mom/grandma who didn't prove herself to be not trustworthy. School starts next Thursday so no, my son won't be with u 50 minutes away on the lake for 2 months. He will be at home and going to school everyday. And definitely no, my 12 month old wont be staying with u since u were deceitful and refused to give her back, twice, in another city, lied about it, and told me to just "let things happen". We ALREADY had the talk with her that we can't trust her anymore and that she wouldn't be with the kids alone anymore. Smh. Guess she'll just be hanging out at the camp spot by herself!
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 20, 2014 at 6:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MommyofMonster
by Member on Aug. 20, 2014 at 7:38 PM
4 moms liked this

Get your kid back.  Don't ever let your mother take your child again overnight.  She's just proven that she cannot be trusted.  Next time ANYTHING like this happens, call the cops.  This is bullshit.  I don't care if she (or any other parent's mother) raised healthy kids 18+ years ago, that was then, this is now, shit changes with childraising and it's YOUR kid and YOUR schedule (as well as baby's food/nap) that she's screwing up.  She does not "know better than you" because she's done it all before so don't even let her try using that line on you.  Be firm, be pissed, and make sure she knows exactly how pissed you are.

yes, I am Fantastic.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 20, 2014 at 7:43 PM
1 mom liked this
You aren't overreacting. No 1 yr old needs to be away from her parents that long.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 20, 2014 at 8:33 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank u! My husband and I were really at a loss. Tears from both of us as we missed her. He was even considering leaving in the middle of the night to go drive to Houston to take her back when she wasn't expecting. I am so happy she is back today and I can't be more thankful for a great FIL to realize immediately what was going on and her back to us within hours before my mom drug this out another week. Who knows, Saturday could've come around and she could've made yet another excuse and made it even longer! I have NEVER had this problem with her when our son was a baby (he is 5 now), so I don't know what in her has changed. But, unfortunately we are going to have to have "the talk" with her that she won't be alone with our children anymore and all visits will be brief and supervised, even with the new baby I'm about to deliver.

Quoting MommyofMonster:

Get your kid back.  Don't ever let your mother take your child again overnight.  She's just proven that she cannot be trusted.  Next time ANYTHING like this happens, call the cops.  This is bullshit.  I don't care if she (or any other parent's mother) raised healthy kids 18+ years ago, that was then, this is now, shit changes with childraising and it's YOUR kid and YOUR schedule (as well as baby's food/nap) that she's screwing up.  She does not "know better than you" because she's done it all before so don't even let her try using that line on you.  Be firm, be pissed, and make sure she knows exactly how pissed you are.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 20, 2014 at 8:35 PM
I agree! We have been devastated in her behavior! We are gonna talk to her and tell her she can no longer be alone with our children and all visits will be supervised by one of us. I hate that it has come to this. I have never seen her this controlling and withholding somebody's child from them without their consent has been an awful feeling.

Quoting Anonymous: You aren't overreacting. No 1 yr old needs to be away from her parents that long.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 20, 2014 at 9:04 PM
2 moms liked this

I don't think you were wrong.  I just don't understand why you or your dh didn't call your in laws sooner. 

youngstepmom512
by Member on Aug. 20, 2014 at 9:07 PM
1 mom liked this
Omgosh! I am so sorry you went through that
angelachristine
by Member on Aug. 20, 2014 at 9:08 PM
1 mom liked this

I have a headache and can't read that without paragraphs but good luck.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 20, 2014 at 9:12 PM
6 moms liked this
Family or not I would've called the fucking cops on her
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 20, 2014 at 9:57 PM
I totally agree! We should have called them sooner when we realized we couldn't get ahold of My mom. I think maybe our thought process was that we were under the assumption that the inlaws didn't have the baby in their care anymore. I think also bc I was a crying mess and on bedrest and that my husband was at work all day I just didn't think there was much I could do. Lesson learned!

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't think you were wrong.  I just don't understand why you or your dh didn't call your in laws sooner. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 20, 2014 at 10:00 PM
Ya, sorry! When I'm upset I just kinda type as my thoughts flow

Quoting angelachristine:

I have a headache and can't read that without paragraphs but good luck.

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