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The Venting Booth The Venting Booth

I'm sick of my boyfriend depending on me financially!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies

I'm 28 and my boyfriend is 29. We have an 8 year old together. I've done this same song and dance with him since i found out i was pregnant. He's a sweet guy, but he isnt motivated to want to do better. I've held two full time jobs, I've gone to school. I'm always the bread winner. I want more for our child. So work and our child is my life. I can't get this guy to get a drivers license, a car or a decent job. He usually works part time or goes maybe a couple years without employment. He is working full time now, but is bad with money. He'll hurry and spend it as soon as he gets paid, but looks at me when it's rent time or when the electric bill comes in. I pay all the major bills..even groceries and the babysitter.. he'll pay the cable and phone..but that's it. I've tried talking to him about this, but he says i make a lot more than him. I bring in $2000 a month, he brings in $1000 a month or less..but he never contributes and he has me driving him everywhere! He'll cook when I get off from work, but that's not enough.  I'm just about done this time surely. I've tried dumping him and putting him out, but he calls me telling me he's on the streets starving with no place to go. So i feel bad and let him come back home. what am i doing wrong? why do I put up with this? I want my son to have a normal life! Please help!

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 26, 2014 at 4:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KikiKia
by Bronze Member on Aug. 26, 2014 at 4:50 PM
2 moms liked this

You stayed with this scrub for 8 years?  Why are you allowing him to use you like this.  You are pretty much already single anyway (you seem to be doing everything) why not lose the extra baggage aka him!

Tell him to call when he can mature and prove to you and your child together that he can support himself and earn a decent wage or get educated so that he can earn a decent wage.

Let him go.  After nearly 10 years he has not gotten it yet...!?  think of all the wasted years...do you want more wasted years with this guy?

He is holding you back

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 26, 2014 at 6:02 PM
2 moms liked this

What your doing wrong is letting him back in when you kick him out, he knows he just has to call you with a sob story and he's back in STOP THAT! leave his ass out let him fend for himself let him LEARN that he has to work hard if he wants food, a roof over his head and most of all to provide for his kids. Your his S/O not his mommy to be maintaining him!. Enough is enough momma!, don't enable him ANYMORE!. Next time tell him to figure it out just like YOU have been doing all these years for all of you, tell him to put his big boy pants on and go work hard to better himself and to be a better provider for his family.

nmkj
by Member on Aug. 27, 2014 at 9:43 AM
Put him out. It's not like you need him since you're covering everything yourself as it is. No drivers license at 29? That's pathetic. He needs to be on the streets then maybe he will change. Don't give in next time.
nanny1918
by Bronze Member on Aug. 27, 2014 at 12:51 PM
2 moms liked this
I would imagine at this point all respect for him is gone.
I would just ask him to leave.
Yes, he may end up homeless and hungry but that will be his choice.
You are not responsible for him. He will never learn to take care of himself unless he has to and even then he may not.
I would block his calls and text for the first week or two after he moves out. Otherwise he will probably torment you emotionally.
I wish you and your son well.
ZamilyMom
by Bronze Member on Aug. 27, 2014 at 1:56 PM

 If you're really sick of him using you financially (and you SHOULD be), then follow this advice!

Quoting Anonymous 2:

What your doing wrong is letting him back in when you kick him out, he knows he just has to call you with a sob story and he's back in STOP THAT! leave his ass out let him fend for himself let him LEARN that he has to work hard if he wants food, a roof over his head and most of all to provide for his kids. Your his S/O not his mommy to be maintaining him!. Enough is enough momma!, don't enable him ANYMORE!. Next time tell him to figure it out just like YOU have been doing all these years for all of you, tell him to put his big boy pants on and go work hard to better himself and to be a better provider for his family.

 

happinessforyou
by Member on Aug. 27, 2014 at 3:37 PM

He must have a "golden" penis for a grown woman to put up with so much nonsense.....

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 27, 2014 at 3:44 PM
Wow I'm in the very similar if not exact situation. I also make $2000 a month and am the "bread winner" with the same problems.
I think you know what you are doing wrong.
Do you love him? Are you thinking with your heart or head?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 27, 2014 at 5:34 PM

What are you doing wrong? You're not leaving him out when you dump him out! This guy needs some serious tough love and you have given him no incentive to to do any more than he does.

teaandcookies
by Katherine on Aug. 27, 2014 at 6:51 PM

I supportted my ex, for my last year of high school and 2 years of college.  He was un employed for nine tenths of that time while I was in school full time working three part time jobs, doing neighbors laundry, cleaning my grandparents, and their friends homes, cleaning the neighbourhood convience store and taking deliverys, so I could get free milk and bread.

Let me just say............Don't do it.  Not unless they are working towards bettering themselves, not playing video games.

PogoPalOj
by Bronze Member on Aug. 28, 2014 at 5:19 AM

 Why are you paying daycare?  If he doesn't want to work and you want to keep him, make him be a house husband.  Do all the chores, get a licence. That sort of thing, or drop him.  He is a big boy.  He can survive without you.  Let him try. 

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