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Frustrated with my guy

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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I know this is my fault. I fell in love. I moved in. I helped with the kids. We talked about getting married. We talked about having a baby. He still says it will happen. He says we'll get married before the end of the year.

But here it is November. And there is no proposal. There is no ring. There is no date. There is just me being frustrated. He knows how frustrated I am. We talk about it a fair amount. I told him, if nothing changes by the end of the year then we're going to have some very serious conversations. He says it won't come to that. But I am starting to have an incredibly hard time believing that.

What I want is to be his wife. We have discussed and made plans for how we will do things after we are married. I find it hard to believe that it's that he doesn't want to marry me... but actions speak louder than words.

I won't force him to marry me. But I'll have to start disengaging at some point... And unfortunately, if that happens, it will be while his dad is staying with us for an extended visit.


Gah! I am just so frustrated!

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 4, 2014 at 1:21 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 4, 2014 at 8:02 PM

What would you do? Would you wait it out? Would you start to withdraw?

My life is with this man and his family. I want to continue to be in this world... I just want my future to really get to start. My primary concern is that we've talked about having a kid and the clocks are ticking away for both of us. He claims he gets it, but still he waits.

heathermom4
by Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 9:40 PM
1 mom liked this
Move on all you are is a built in baby sitter maid an lay.
raschwittay
by Bronze Member on Nov. 5, 2014 at 1:00 PM
What's the rush to get married? You say you won't force him, but your giving him an ultimatum. That's probably pushing him away further. Just let things happen naturally. And if your that impatient, dump him and find someone else to marry. If your in love, what else do you need?

Sissy-Smurf
by Member on Nov. 5, 2014 at 1:08 PM
2 moms liked this

Let me start my reply off by admitting by saying that I'm incredibly cynical when it comes to this topic so my opinion may not be of any use to you whatsoever.. But here goes, anyway...

My SO and I were together for two years. THREE MONTHS after we met, he started talkin' about wanting us to move in together. Uhh, yeahhh... Slow your roll. After a year or so together, we were talking about marriage. He told me (he's been married before) that the only way he could ever think about marriage is if he lived with someone for a year first.. Okay.. A year engagment (it wasn't an engagment) wouldn't be bad but whatever..  He went as far as paying a lot of money to get our rings sized and all that. Going the whole nine-yards - talking to my dad, "getting his permission" and all that.. Blah, blah, blah... Okay, I end up pregnant. We get a place together when I was six months along.  About a week or so after I announced that I was pregnant, he gives me this whole cock-n-bull story that he was gonna propose but didn't want to now because he didn't want people to think he wanted to marry me because I was pregnant.. Okay.. Whatever..
Long story short - in April we will have been together for seven years. Lived together for four and a half ... We are no closer to getting married than we were when we met.

If you are wanting to get married and things like that, nip this in the bud and get the facts from him and if you aren't married by the end of the year like he told you that you would be - leave. Take it from someone talking from experience, it's not worth it. 

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