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I'm the abuser...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 29 Replies
1 mom liked this

So, I have been with my SO for almost a decade. We have two beautiful children together, but our relationship has been anything but rosey. We used to fight constantly, over anything and everything. Our families have gotten involved (and that never ends well for anyone). Over the last year things have calmed down a bit with our fighting and I think that is mostly due to the fact we seperated for about 8 months. Well, things seem like they are getting bad again. So, I decided to look up the signs of being in a emotionally abusive relationship. As I read down the list of warning signs of an emotionally abusive partner, I couldn't help but think, these are describing me! I've always thought my SO was the problem, but in reality, I'm the problem. I don't know why I do some of the things I do, but I do them. I don't want to lose my family because of my selfishness and insecurities! I guess the first step for anyone with a problem is admitting that you actually have one. So, this is my first step. My next step is asking what can I do to become better? I don't want to be like this anymore. Please help.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 8, 2014 at 12:34 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SamanthaSage
by on Nov. 8, 2014 at 12:36 AM
5 moms liked this

Couples counseling. Individual counseling.

PinkEminem
by Member on Nov. 8, 2014 at 2:41 AM

Get counseling and/or go to Youtube to look at self-help videos. Best of luck! 

Sarlinda
by on Nov. 8, 2014 at 3:45 PM

Counseling and if it doesn't stop then seperation would be my best advice. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 8, 2014 at 4:18 PM
Counseling... Individual and couple... If that doesnt help, a separation to give you breathing room, and still continue the counseling
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 8, 2014 at 4:26 PM

That's awesome you're recognizing you have a problem. I would also say counseling. If it's not in the budget, look into a church, pastors can be great counselors too and they wouldn't charge anything.

DisabledVet
by on Nov. 8, 2014 at 4:28 PM
1 mom liked this

Find a counselor that specializes in abusive patterns of behavior. Anger management is usually the first step. counseling for both of you would be a good thing. Good luck. I've seen couples who were thought to be hopeless able to live their lives and have good marriages. At least you won't be passing these patterns on to your kids.

SuckIt69
by Member on Nov. 8, 2014 at 4:36 PM
3 moms liked this
First, apologize to your husband. Second, counseling. Good luck.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 8, 2014 at 6:47 PM

I suggest you do NOT go to church counselling.  You need the help that can only be found with proven, licensed professionals.

Quoting Anonymous 3:

That's awesome you're recognizing you have a problem. I would also say counseling. If it's not in the budget, look into a church, pastors can be great counselors too and they wouldn't charge anything.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 8, 2014 at 7:32 PM
2 moms liked this

I'm going to be looking into counseling professionals around where I live. I know this is going to be hard (changing myself and getting out of these bad habits) but I know it will all be worth it to keep my family together.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Nov. 8, 2014 at 9:08 PM
2 moms liked this
This needs a bump.

Far too often women here spout off how this is grounds for leaving the DH, taking the kids and divorcing. Its always, "your damaging the children..."

Why are all of these response suggesting counseling? Why not the dramatic exit because the abuser is a woman?

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