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FIL is a sexist pig!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 31 Replies
My Father in law has never liked me, due to me not knowing my "role" as a woman. In his eyes I'm not supposed to be well educated, work or have an outside life besides cooking and tending to my children and DH.

Last night, we invited him over for dinner with his new wife. Everything went well...until dinner was done. His wife started to clean up, I told her not to worry that I would clean up after the left. FIL began shouting that it was unacceptable for us woman not to get it cleaned up right away. I usually bite my tongue to hold peace with this man, but I had enough! I told him I would NOT met his demands, poured her and I a glass of wine and sat back at the table. I was called every name there is...including lazy! In which he then made the comment "woman should be cooking and cleaning, they should only be seen doing housework and in the bedroom!" I allowed him to shout, but still refused to follow his demands. DH then stepped in and asked him to leave.

I feel horrible that it got to that point, but I'm really tired of him always belittling me. I work 40-60hrs, attend college and come home to care for my family and home. The dishes weren't going anywhere, usually I do them right away but not when company is over.

Was I wrong? Should I apologize for behaving the way I did?
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 24, 2014 at 10:20 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Devvie
by New Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 10:59 AM
3 moms liked this

It's your house, you can tend to it as you see fit.  No guest, regardless of who they are, has any right to try to force his belief on you.  And good for your husband for stepping in and asking him to leave!  You owe NO apology... the FIL does.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:14 PM
His attitude disgusts me. He isn't like this with just me, he's like this to any woman he sees that doesn't meet his "standards" as to what women should be doing.

He even scolded me once, because I should be teaching DD how to be a "golden wife". I would never teach my DD that men are superior and it's ok to be mistreated.
Candiebears
by Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 2:48 PM
2 moms liked this

No and no! Regardless of how he feels or his beliefs .. HE was in YOUR house.. not the other way around. He never should have disrespected you like that!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 3:03 PM
1 mom liked this

Fuck no! Apologize for what? Doing as you please in your own home? With the support of your husband? No, sweetheart, you are OWED an apology--You don't need to make one. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 3:12 PM
2 moms liked this

He would not be welcome in my home. If DH wanted to see him, he could go see him, but I'm not willing to be treated like shit to "keep the peace." The moment he started in, it should have been met with "you will not speak to me that way. Leave now."

Quoting Anonymous 1: His attitude disgusts me. He isn't like this with just me, he's like this to any woman he sees that doesn't meet his "standards" as to what women should be doing. He even scolded me once, because I should be teaching DD how to be a "golden wife". I would never teach my DD that men are superior and it's ok to be mistreated.


mischele
by Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 3:17 PM
1 mom liked this
I think you did the right thing and your DH telling him to leave was great. I wouldn't allow that man in my life anymore
WrongWayDiva
by Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 3:24 PM
1 mom liked this

So sorry to hear that--glad your DH rose above his upbringing!    My ex FIL once told me I didn't need to buy life insurance "because I was the wife".   Um.....the premium was $14/month for 250k and I was earning more than my XDH.    

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 3:57 PM

sounds like someone could use a swift kick in the dick.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 4:25 PM
1 mom liked this

No, you weren't wrong, but you let him get to you too much. Just live your life and if you and your DH are happy with what you do then forget the FIL. He's a windbag and you're giving him way too much power over yourself. And I think that would be the last time he was invited over, and the last tme he saw my DD. 

happinessforyou
by Bronze Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 4:36 PM

FOR ME- that would have been the last dinner ever eaten with that man.... but you do as you wish.

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