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Mil is driving me nuts :@

Posted by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 6:06 PM
  • 23 Replies
Ever since my DD was born I knew my mil was going be a b*tch basically . Trying to tell me I should allow DD to stay at hers overnight at 3months of age even though I repeatedly said no . Causing crap between me and my family for no good reason other than we tried to get along with her . So then I confronted Dh about his mum only for him to say to me I need to tell her . So I did which did not go down well . Then she ends up separating from her dh and has a go at me for not being considerate even though she was not considerate to me when my grandad past away , when dd was just born . So then she and her brother basically threaten to take me to court . So me and my dh tried on numerous of occasions to sit down and talk about everything and for her to see DD . Every time she made lame excuse as to why she could not make it or she never bothered to get in touch to say she could not make it . Almost 3 months later and she has not bothered to ask how dd is or not ask to come see dd . And now Christmas is approaching and DD first birthday and I really feel like I should not invite her for her ending up creating an atmosphere and ending up ruining everything. Though what would you do ?
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 6:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
daenerys
by Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 6:11 PM
1 mom liked this

I wouldn't want the drama and I wouldn't invite her.

jupiter5
by Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 8:08 PM
Don't invite her.
AmyRuth88
by Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 9:16 PM

why woulden't you let her stay over when she was three months. You want her in your DD's life no matter what your relationship is with her. Invite her to the party or it will makes things worse or you will be cheating your daughter

xFaithx123
by Member on Nov. 25, 2014 at 10:38 AM

Because I just don't want my DD at young age staying at anyone's house . it's not needed I was not working at that point , I'm there look after her . If she had been a bit nicer I would have given her few hours during the day but there's always a catch to it if I had agreed she would have told me I would have had look after her younger son which I don't want to do . 

Quoting AmyRuth88:

why woulden't you let her stay over when she was three months. You want her in your DD's life no matter what your relationship is with her. Invite her to the party or it will makes things worse or you will be cheating your daughter


AmyRuth88
by Member on Nov. 25, 2014 at 10:41 AM
1 mom liked this

In my opinion three months is not to young for an overnight with grandma. anyone else maybe but not grandma

Quoting xFaithx123:

Because I just don't want my DD at young age staying at anyone's house . it's not needed I was not working at that point , I'm there look after her . If she had been a bit nicer I would have given her few hours during the day but there's always a catch to it if I had agreed she would have told me I would have had look after her younger son which I don't want to do . 

Quoting AmyRuth88:

why woulden't you let her stay over when she was three months. You want her in your DD's life no matter what your relationship is with her. Invite her to the party or it will makes things worse or you will be cheating your daughter



xFaithx123
by Member on Nov. 25, 2014 at 10:49 AM


Quoting AmyRuth88:

In my opinion three months is not to young for an overnight with grandma. anyone else maybe but not grandma

Quoting xFaithx123:

Because I just don't want my DD at young age staying at anyone's house . it's not needed I was not working at that point , I'm there look after her . If she had been a bit nicer I would have given her few hours during the day but there's always a catch to it if I had agreed she would have told me I would have had look after her younger son which I don't want to do . 

Quoting AmyRuth88:

why woulden't you let her stay over when she was three months. You want her in your DD's life no matter what your relationship is with her. Invite her to the party or it will makes things worse or you will be cheating your daughter



3 month is far too young . it's now recommended for first 4 years a child should be with the parents at night . even my health visitor said that it was far to young and recommend four years but she said it was when I felt comfortable to allow DD to stay not what suited my mil who is on strong sleeping tablets . plus she never got up for her younger son who was six at the time was really badly sick my dh had to deal with it at the time . so why would I allow 3 month baby who be sick quite abit and was unsettled with colic stay with anyone at night . 

kaybayblee3
by Member on Nov. 25, 2014 at 11:14 AM

 Don't invite her. The drama or heartache isn't worth it.

goldpandora
by Member on Nov. 25, 2014 at 12:16 PM

Grandmothers can be in a child's life without keeping them overnight. 

This grandmother seems to be keeping away so she can play the martyr.

Quoting AmyRuth88:

why woulden't you let her stay over when she was three months. You want her in your DD's life no matter what your relationship is with her. Invite her to the party or it will makes things worse or you will be cheating your daughter


xoch86
by Bronze Member on Nov. 25, 2014 at 12:18 PM

Only invite her if she brings it up.. Otherwise, don't.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Nov. 25, 2014 at 12:42 PM

Don't invite her.  And if she is stupid enough to take any of this to court, I imagine she'd get laughed right out of there.

If I didn't know better, I'd say we have the same MIL.  My MIL has pulled the same shit, from trying to get us to leave our oldest with her when he was born for days at a time, we said no, to lying to my DH about me and my family.  She told her whole family I don't trust her, that I was a bad mother who didn't know how to take care of my baby, etc.  She refused to come visit us and thought we needed to travel out of state every weekend to see her, yet refused to grasp the road runs both way.

I don't care what anyone says, not even grandma gets to tell mom and dad when they'll drop off baby and for how long.  She wants to play mommy again, that's her problem.  Her role is grandma.  Period. 

 

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