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grandmother vent long

Posted by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 8:58 PM
  • 6 Replies

So my grandmother has dementia (being stages) she has gotten mean and ornery with most people, she doesn't do it with me as I give it right back to her.

She has a friend "Mary" that stays at her place most of the time. to "help out" MEANING she is lying for grandma saying she took her med's when she didn't. And going along with anything grandma says. Grandma has had a infection in her leg for months because of this

Grandma is living off social security and title 19

She needs to be in a home. My Aunt "Sandy" and Uncle "Gary" have power of attorney over her. Medical and finical. Neither of them ever come to see her unless my mother who lives in the apartment building tells them THEY HAVE too come. My aunt who has money refuses to be the one to put her in a home. Claiming she is paying for her mil to be in one she can't afford to pay for another.

Grandma's title 19 would pay for it, so the problem???

grandma social security would go to the home with only so much for her personal expanses (like $50 for her to spend on what she wanted each week)  Which means her other children including Gary would not be able to "borrow" money from her.

one of the kids owes her thousands and claims he can't pay her back with his expenses. MMMMMM yeah I like that BRAND NEW TRUCK UNCLE!!!! My cousins come and do the same. Grandma has no idea who owes her anymore and gives to everyone who asks. And is often short of money each month to pay her bills which I then send money over for. 

I pay for her to get to all her doctors appt.s and to go get food or run errands. My mother cooks all her meals. Today my mother cleaned out 6 BAGS of trash from her kitchen. VERY small kitchen i might add. my mother makes sure her bills are paid. ** when my mother moved into the building she found grandma had disconnect notices on everything Sandy was suppose to come down every month and make sure they are paid. My mom managed to arrange for all the bills to come out directly from grandmas accounts.  And fixed everything with her bills, sandy hadn't come for over 3 months.**

I'm at a loss, except to take them to court and fight them for power of attorney. Which I don't have that kind of money to do as I know they will fight it.

by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 8:58 PM
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Replies (1-6):
by Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 9:11 PM

Call adult protective services or the county. There must be something to help the elderly in situations like these

by Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 9:14 PM
Goodness! I am sorry. :( I hate when pepple commit financial abuse on the elderly.
by Anonymous 1 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 9:22 PM

Unless they already went to court and did all of that with a court order, you might not need to go that route in order to change the poa.  

As long as your grandmother can sit in the bank and say yes, she wants it changed to whoever, they'll do it.  Same with medical--it's just a form, 

We had a similar situation with my dh's grandmother and yes, by putting her in a "home", they got ALL of her social security--but they also took care of all of her needs. 

by on Nov. 25, 2014 at 5:41 PM

Wow I'm sorry. That sounds like such a tough situation. Have you considered calling your aunt and uncle and talking to them about your grandma?



by Bronze Member on Nov. 26, 2014 at 7:42 AM
it's a shame your grandmother picked the wrong people to take over here well being..
it will be difficult to change anything now
by on Nov. 26, 2014 at 9:03 AM

Whoever wins would have to pay, right?  If you have documented all this then talk to an attorney-most give you one free consultation.  Look for one who is experienced in elder care and law.  Sounds like everyone is taking advantage of her.  "Borrowing" from an incompetant woman is called stealing.

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