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Lack of Support!

Posted by on Dec. 12, 2014 at 11:08 AM
  • 15 Replies

Ok so heres the thing, i have two lo's one is 3 and the other is 1, i gave up working in may this year after trying to keep my job which proved difficult due to OH's hours (he does 12 hour days). Any way i decided not to sit around and do nothing with my life, i mean i still have the evenings to myself when the children are in bed. So i enrolled into Uni and started a Law degree this October just gone, it envoles me having to study everynight. well i havent because no matter how hard i try, my OH alawys finda a way of annoying me to the point i cant concentrate. So safe to say im a little behind, I am thinking of getting some work experience in the proffession i wish to persue once i have my degree. when i voiced this to my partner he was super against it saying that i wont be able to do it not even during daughters school hours, so safe to say im feeling unsupported and have little faith in actually completing this degree with the standard that is needed :(

 

sorry about the rant.

Sally-Anne Hughesbang head on keyboard

by on Dec. 12, 2014 at 11:08 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MagicMonkey
by Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 11:16 AM
Just keep pushing
autiemama516
by Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 11:27 AM
1 mom liked this

Well I just want to say you seem like a very smart and motivated person to start your law degree. Two thumbs up from me!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 12, 2014 at 12:12 PM

Have you talked with him about his lack of support?

As for him always aggravating you to the point you can't concentrate, I had a husband that did the same thing. I learned to not let him aggravate me and I started studying at the library. My ex was mentally ill. I worked full time in addition to going to school full time I managed to get my degrees in spite of his behaviors. It can be done. It sucks that he doesn't support what you want. I made my ex go to counseling with me and found out he thought I'd leave him once I graduated.

You might point out to him that if you're unable to concentrate the money spent on the classes is wasted.

If you were unable to work due to his schedule how will you be able to get experience in the area of your profession?

mividaloca86
by Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 12:43 PM
3 moms liked this
Then I suggest you get up and leave at night to a coffee shop and study. He doesn't want to see you succeed or do better than him. Guys do that. They like feeling like they are the provider .when women rise up and want to do something that will cause independence they Crack up a tad.
He has an underlying fear you will no longer need him and leave him
I suggest you also reassure him .men are Fucking babies. Lol
Hughes23
by New Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 3:05 PM

 I really wish there was a cafe open by me at night and the library shuts at 5 :( tonight ive managed half an hour and then he started bombarding with questions and distracting me with his non-stop chat, i wouldnt care so muh but he never wants to talk to me during the day would rather shout and snap at everything that i say to him. and even when he is at work he rings me every break even if i tell him im busy. which gets on my nerves.

yea ive triedd telling him al this but jeeze he just dosent give a rats ass.

i have an assignment due on the 18th and ive not even dented the material in whihc i need to read before writing it.

so now im resorting to under hand tactics and looks like im sleeping now for a coupke of hours before waking as early as possible to get this donw, also will be headin to the library for 9am tomorrow at least that will give me 3hrs study time.

just really wish he was more supportive.

Quoting mividaloca86: Then I suggest you get up and leave at night to a coffee shop and study. He doesn't want to see you succeed or do better than him. Guys do that. They like feeling like they are the provider .when women rise up and want to do something that will cause independence they Crack up a tad. He has an underlying fear you will no longer need him and leave him I suggest you also reassure him .men are Fucking babies. Lol

 

Sally-Anne Hughesbang head on keyboard

mividaloca86
by Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 4:26 PM
2 moms liked this
So right when he starts in during a time when your book is open. Either bluntly look at him and tell him that you are taking one hour of quiet time to read and whatever needs to be said after one hour. Or do like me put head phones on and pretend u have music on. Or get up and walk away and close a door behind you. I can't imagine he's that obnoxious that he can't take a hint. My husband was a dick like that too . It's awful. Maybe even. Getting in ur car and locking the doors. I live in the mountains I totally get not having resources open late at night or around me too

Quoting Hughes23:

 I really wish there was a cafe open by me at night and the library shuts at 5 :( tonight ive managed half an hour and then he started bombarding with questions and distracting me with his non-stop chat, i wouldnt care so muh but he never wants to talk to me during the day would rather shout and snap at everything that i say to him. and even when he is at work he rings me every break even if i tell him im busy. which gets on my nerves.


yea ive triedd telling him al this but jeeze he just dosent give a rats ass.


i have an assignment due on the 18th and ive not even dented the material in whihc i need to read before writing it.


so now im resorting to under hand tactics and looks like im sleeping now for a coupke of hours before waking as early as possible to get this donw, also will be headin to the library for 9am tomorrow at least that will give me 3hrs study time.


just really wish he was more supportive.


Quoting mividaloca86: Then I suggest you get up and leave at night to a coffee shop and study. He doesn't want to see you succeed or do better than him. Guys do that. They like feeling like they are the provider .when women rise up and want to do something that will cause independence they Crack up a tad. He has an underlying fear you will no longer need him and leave him I suggest you also reassure him .men are Fucking babies. Lol

 

MySunshine220
by Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 10:49 PM

What are his reasons that you cant work? Sometimes I go in my bedroom to study or if I need to get something done, dh can be chatty, likes to talk :) but usually he wont want to get up from whatever hes doing to go find me or he just gets the picture lol. Tell him how much it means to you and ask him why he is so unsupportive? Continue to pursue your degree and career, he cant actually stop you but it would be awesome to have his support.

csxt99
by Bronze Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 10:55 PM

Tell him to shut the fuck up or you will slit has damned throat.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 13, 2014 at 9:59 AM
1 mom liked this

when I need to study and dh wants to chatter, I look right at him and nicely tell him that I'm in the middle of something and can I find him when I'm done, or is there something urgent that needs to be taken care of right now?  almost always he can wait, but he waits better if I've acknowledged him and I can get to a good stopping point.

and a law degree is one of those that you can pretty much make your own hours, as long as you're available to appear in court should the need arise.  and court hours are usually between school hours, you wouldn't miss a thing at home.  keep going on with your education and self-improvement.  you're doing great!

Quoting Hughes23:

 I really wish there was a cafe open by me at night and the library shuts at 5 :( tonight ive managed half an hour and then he started bombarding with questions and distracting me with his non-stop chat, i wouldnt care so muh but he never wants to talk to me during the day would rather shout and snap at everything that i say to him. and even when he is at work he rings me every break even if i tell him im busy. which gets on my nerves.

yea ive triedd telling him al this but jeeze he just dosent give a rats ass.

i have an assignment due on the 18th and ive not even dented the material in whihc i need to read before writing it.

so now im resorting to under hand tactics and looks like im sleeping now for a coupke of hours before waking as early as possible to get this donw, also will be headin to the library for 9am tomorrow at least that will give me 3hrs study time.

just really wish he was more supportive.

Quoting mividaloca86: Then I suggest you get up and leave at night to a coffee shop and study. He doesn't want to see you succeed or do better than him. Guys do that. They like feeling like they are the provider .when women rise up and want to do something that will cause independence they Crack up a tad. He has an underlying fear you will no longer need him and leave him I suggest you also reassure him .men are Fucking babies. Lol



Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 13, 2014 at 10:09 AM

Can you go to your parent's home to study if they live near by?

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