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Idk how I should ...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies
So my husband's uncle has passed away , they were really close , like brothers.
My hubby never gets upset over things , he hides it , locks his feelings up. For example , we have had a mc (and a vanishing twin.) he was barely sympathetic. He never cried. When we were told we lost our twins , he just looked and then kissed my head and said 'I'm sorry baby.' He NEVER shows his feelings or gets upset.
So with this being said , my DH is a WRECK. He woke me up early this morning , so upset. It started with his uncle , then to the miscarriages , and just other things he has never let out.
So , I just want to know , how do you guys comfort your DH when he is upset /having a tough time. And talking about all of this upsets me too , but I try not to show it , for him (because he's been strong when I was upset. I don't want to get upset , and have him shut down again to comfort me.) any advice? Please help!
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 20, 2014 at 5:36 PM
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Replies (1-9):
amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Dec. 22, 2014 at 11:45 AM

I'm sorry for the loss of your husband's uncle and that he's taking it so hard.  

Just be there for him, offer him comfort.  Listen to him if he wants to talk.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 22, 2014 at 11:51 AM
Thankyou so much. :) it means a lot to me.

Quoting amonkeymom:

I'm sorry for the loss of your husband's uncle and that he's taking it so hard.  

Just be there for him, offer him comfort.  Listen to him if he wants to talk.

monrealtwins13
by on Dec. 22, 2014 at 1:20 PM

Be there and let him get out what he needs to. Be supportive.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 22, 2014 at 1:32 PM
1 mom liked this
Thankyou. :)

Quoting monrealtwins13:

Be there and let him get out what he needs to. Be supportive.

jky_67
by Bronze Member on Dec. 23, 2014 at 11:33 AM
1 mom liked this
Big hugs, let him be, let him control the flow, be there for him, be patient and understanding, be his oak tree.
CharlotteRose
by Charlotte on Dec. 23, 2014 at 4:28 PM

I am sorry for your loss.  Just tell your DH when he wants to talk about his Uncle you will be there and if he doesn't please don't take it personal.  My DH doesn't show emotions at all because that is how the men in his family are - real men don't cry attitude so when I know DH is bummed out, I will take him aside and give him a hug and tell him it will all work out and it I will be here if he needs to talk.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 23, 2014 at 4:33 PM
Thanks.
My DH is the same. This is the first time I've really seen
Him upset. And he only got upset after he saw that other men (like his dad) were upset too. And now that he's let go and shown his emotions , everything's he's let build up is coming out now...

Quoting CharlotteRose:

I am sorry for your loss.  Just tell your DH when he wants to talk about his Uncle you will be there and if he doesn't please don't take it personal.  My DH doesn't show emotions at all because that is how the men in his family are - real men don't cry attitude so when I know DH is bummed out, I will take him aside and give him a hug and tell him it will all work out and it I will be here if he needs to talk.

CharlotteRose
by Charlotte on Dec. 23, 2014 at 4:59 PM

 Just keep being there for him - actions speak louder than words....

Quoting Anonymous 1: Thanks. My DH is the same. This is the first time I've really seen Him upset. And he only got upset after he saw that other men (like his dad) were upset too. And now that he's let go and shown his emotions , everything's he's let build up is coming out now...
Quoting CharlotteRose:

I am sorry for your loss.  Just tell your DH when he wants to talk about his Uncle you will be there and if he doesn't please don't take it personal.  My DH doesn't show emotions at all because that is how the men in his family are - real men don't cry attitude so when I know DH is bummed out, I will take him aside and give him a hug and tell him it will all work out and it I will be here if he needs to talk.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 23, 2014 at 5:08 PM
Thank you , he's been doing better , just taking it easy and lots of family cuddles , it will be better for us all soon. :)

Quoting CharlotteRose:

 Just keep being there for him - actions speak louder than words....


Quoting Anonymous 1: Thanks. My DH is the same. This is the first time I've really seen Him upset. And he only got upset after he saw that other men (like his dad) were upset too. And now that he's let go and shown his emotions , everything's he's let build up is coming out now...
Quoting CharlotteRose:

I am sorry for your loss.  Just tell your DH when he wants to talk about his Uncle you will be there and if he doesn't please don't take it personal.  My DH doesn't show emotions at all because that is how the men in his family are - real men don't cry attitude so when I know DH is bummed out, I will take him aside and give him a hug and tell him it will all work out and it I will be here if he needs to talk.


 

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