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So tired and ready to give up!

Posted by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 12:46 AM
  • 10 Replies

I am a little new to this, so I don't know if I am in the right group. I am feeling a little down right now and need a friend. My husband lost his job the first week of november.  I have struggled to give my kids a good Christmas and now that's over. I just have to figure out what to do next. My husband is still not working and spends money like crazy. I work a full time job. My lights will be getting cut off next week, and my cable tonight. I am so stressed. He will not help in the hosue and tells me I am worthless because my house is a mess. He sits at home all day and all night. I work nights 12 hour shifts. He thinks I should only sleep 4 hours then I have to get up I am too tired to do anything. I am dragging so bad. I clean and by the next morning it is distroyed. He doesnt do anything and just lets the kids run wild. I told him yesterday that I couldn't continue like this. He said he is sorry and will help then after I came to work. "Now its your worthless and I am not doing that why should I do it?. Your so lazy" I work 84  hours every two weeks I take care of everything. I have cried for hours tonight at work!! He keeps calling to tell me how bad of a mother and wife I am. Something has to give! I have two boys that are my life but I am so afraid they are going to see this and it worries me on how they will treat their wives when they are older.  When he is workign I have no problem with them at all my house is clean they do their homework are in bed on time. Since he has been home this short amount of time he cant ven get them to do their homework. I have to help them every morning when I get off work before school. He just doesnt want to do anything but sit on the couch and watch tv or movies or play video games.  Please tell me how I get up and fix this!  punchingI am so tired that I am ready to give up and never get out of bed again!!

by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 12:46 AM
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Replies (1-10):
skrbelly
by Bronze Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 2:08 AM
Why do you think you have the answer to fix this? People do what they want, not what we want them to. You have to make a decision about how to respond to his behavior. If this is not tolerable, then YOU have to make a move that is acceptable to you. If you think he's going to change, get back to us in 10 years and let us know how that worked out. Degrading, name calling, verbal abuse, and selfishness is what you have now. You want a better life sooner or do you want to keep this shit going? What are you afraid of? You're already doing everything by yourself. An unhappy wife is a sad Mom and your kids are more affected than you realize. Time to lose the dead weight. I'm excited about the possibilities for you here.
TheRingmaster
by Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 9:07 AM
You cannot control him. However you could have chosen to marry and have kids with a more responsible man. Why did you choose him? Idk all I can say is good luck and don't have more kids with him.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 28, 2014 at 9:24 AM
1 mom liked this
Like someone else has said, you can't change him. He is being abusive toward you and is jeopardizing you and your children. If I was in this situation I would leave ASAP. Best of luck.
chanizen
by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 9:28 AM
2 moms liked this
Try a new response;

Go get a new job. Now. I am not working 2 shifts and listening to you be an asshole because you are feeling insecure.

Pick up the house your damn self. You aren't working and have plenty of time.

If you call me stupid or worthless again, you can go live with your mother until your head is back on straight
cheetah90210
by Silver Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 9:45 AM
1 mom liked this
This or for good

Quoting chanizen: Try a new response;

Go get a new job. Now. I am not working 2 shifts and listening to you be an asshole because you are feeling insecure.

Pick up the house your damn self. You aren't working and have plenty of time.

If you call me stupid or worthless again, you can go live with your mother until your head is back on straight
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 28, 2014 at 4:57 PM
ya say exactly what that lady above said do it
star33
by Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 5:02 PM
1 mom liked this
For real. That shit would not work. When I was married,my ex lost his job. I picked up a p/t on top of my f/t. When he didn't come home 1 night out drinking,I quit. I said hell to the no. I would've extra worked temporarily if he was helping more,but he seemed ungrateful. He got a job real quick.

Quoting chanizen: Try a new response;

Go get a new job. Now. I am not working 2 shifts and listening to you be an asshole because you are feeling insecure.

Pick up the house your damn self. You aren't working and have plenty of time.

If you call me stupid or worthless again, you can go live with your mother until your head is back on straight
DisabledVet
by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 5:06 PM

If he can't handle money take it away from him. If he is unable to pull his weight, give him a choice, either he starts taking care of the house while you're working or he can leave. His choice.

Contact the Salvation Army about your utilities and United way has a list of resources use them to get back on track. And toss the lazy bum out.

Grnyann65
by Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 5:17 PM
1 mom liked this

If you never get out of bed again, you really will have nothing. What he's done for you in the last 2 months, is show you that you can do it all without him. Cut loose of the dead weight. You won't be any better off financially, or time wise, but you will be much happier.

star33
by Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 9:59 PM
1 mom liked this
I can vouch for that. I was with a lazy partner & I was scared of doing it on my own,but everyone pointed out I already was. Much happier now!!!

Quoting Grnyann65:

If you never get out of bed again, you really will have nothing. What he's done for you in the last 2 months, is show you that you can do it all without him. Cut loose of the dead weight. You won't be any better off financially, or time wise, but you will be much happier.

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