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Relative problem caring for child

Posted by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 8:06 PM
  • 45 Replies
So I pay relatives to care for my child. It helps them pay for laundry and gas. We have an agreement and have for the last year. However one of the relatives (its a married couple and they are my cousins) tries to accuse me of ripping them off. My mom lives 8 hours away and wanted to take my DD for a week so I could work odd hours at work and actually be able to sleep, plus my mom doesn't see DD very often. So for a week these relatives didn't care for my DD. So I was accused of not paying them for a week they didn't even have my kiddo.
The one accusing me never handles any of the money. The other one always does.
I was accused of not paying them at all last week and I ended up calling the other and they said I did pay and I'm not behind. I pay a week ahead of time just how any actual day care would do it in my area.
It is under the table because if it wasn't then they would lose a lot of their disability benefits.
Its giving me anxiety and I am about to tell them they can't watch my DD anymore. I have a friend that would love to watch her if they won't be anymore. I'm just sick of being accused of ripping them off when we have a set amount and agreement. Any advice is appreciated
by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 8:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kristawilder
by New Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 8:09 PM
6 moms liked this
I would have you friend babysit. Your one cousin seems money hungry, why lie about getting the money and why get mad about not being paid for a week they didn't babysit?? Your friend sounds like a better option. (:
okpondlady
by Bronze Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 8:27 PM
1 mom liked this

So you tell them, be happy with what you are getting or I will report your ass to SSI.  Or let your friend babysit.  But don't be surprised if it causes issues with them too.   Don't mix money with friends/relatives and you won't have problems like this. 

TANSTAAFL- There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.

angl_gurl1
by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 9:43 PM

have ur friend  babysit

MomToNeeners
by Member on Dec. 29, 2014 at 8:48 AM
When people act like adults, there should be no problems. They understood this is a business arrangement. I have had friends care for my kiddo before like this and there wasn't a problem. Family should be able to do the same.


Quoting okpondlady:

So you tell them, be happy with what you are getting or I will report your ass to SSI.  Or let your friend babysit.  But don't be surprised if it causes issues with them too.   Don't mix money with friends/relatives and you won't have problems like this. 

skrbelly
by Bronze Member on Dec. 29, 2014 at 9:05 AM
2 moms liked this
End it now. It's only going to get worse, plus are these the kind of people you want to be watching your kid? People like this can't be trusted not to mistreat your kid in retaliation. This is a poisonous situation, especially for your kid.
KeepOnTryin
by Member on Dec. 29, 2014 at 9:12 AM
2 moms liked this
I would definitely have your friend look after your child.
Your relatives sound dishonest and untrustworthy.
Just make sure you give them plenty of notice so they can prepare for not having that extra money.
CharlotteRose
by Charlotte on Dec. 29, 2014 at 10:29 AM

 This

Quoting KeepOnTryin: I would definitely have your friend look after your child. Your relatives sound dishonest and untrustworthy. Just make sure you give them plenty of notice so they can prepare for not having that extra money.

 

theboyfactory
by on Dec. 29, 2014 at 10:33 AM
5 moms liked this
Maybe they feel that way because if you used a daycare instead of family, you would have to pay whether your child was there or not. You do have an advantage by having family do it. You probably save quite bit of money. Either end it or compromise with that in mind.
KenneMaw
by Bronze Member on Dec. 29, 2014 at 10:59 AM

I would let your friend do it, but set up the payment agreement first.   I don't not believe in mxing family and business and it becomes a business when money is involved.    If you take time off, your child stays with someone else, etc....your friend will need to know if she will get paid.   I believe if you used a day car, you will pay that full week, whether there is a holiday, illness, etc...  

flowerfunleah
by Leah on Dec. 29, 2014 at 11:35 AM

This.

Daycares are ridiculously expensive and not only are you paying a weekly amount but you're also paying a bunch of fee's just to enroll your child! Finding someone to watch your kid for cheap is a blessing in itself but your post says that you paid for the week that your child wasn't even there, so thats good, daycares would make you pay for that week as well.

If they're asking you to pay it again because they feel you didnt pay it then you have a problem and if it's a consistent problem that's when you consider alternative care.

Quoting theboyfactory: Maybe they feel that way because if you used a daycare instead of family, you would have to pay whether your child was there or not. You do have an advantage by having family do it. You probably save quite bit of money. Either end it or compromise with that in mind.


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