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School Bully

Posted by on Feb. 4, 2015 at 6:22 PM
  • 16 Replies

What would you do if you found out that your 18 yr old senior in high school was being a nasty, horrible bully? What if it had gotten so bad that the school/parents called the police?

Would you think it was the parent's fault? Would you think it was the 18 year old's fault?

My DH said his co-worker was dealing with his DD being the bully. I wondered how long she was allowed to pick on other kids before she was stopped? I wanted to know what her parents were like and if she was allowed to be like this at home. Was her mom a "mean girl" who grew up?

I think kids from good parenting can sometimes turn out poorly, but the vast majority of these kids are just from parents who suck at parenting.

What do you think?

by on Feb. 4, 2015 at 6:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
3gurlz1boy
by Member on Feb. 4, 2015 at 6:36 PM

I think some kids can be taught to bully by others, and become bullies. I have also seen kids who do it because they seem to enjoy it. Sort of a personality flaw, maybe? My older brother was a horrible bully when we were kids and he is still pretty punky as an adult. He really enjoyed making others miserable.

happinessforyou
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2015 at 11:12 AM

I just wonder why some people take such a perverse pleasure in hurting others. Usually people they don't even know. Don't you wonder how your brother, as an adult, has not learned a better way to handle people??

Quoting 3gurlz1boy:

I think some kids can be taught to bully by others, and become bullies. I have also seen kids who do it because they seem to enjoy it. Sort of a personality flaw, maybe? My older brother was a horrible bully when we were kids and he is still pretty punky as an adult. He really enjoyed making others miserable.


3gurlz1boy
by Member on Feb. 5, 2015 at 11:18 AM
1 mom liked this

I think it is a self esteem issue, myself. He always acts like he is the best at everything and everyone else is an idiot. He loves to put people down every chance he gets. When he met my little brother's gf for the first time, he asked her what in the world was she doing with him, she could do so much better. She was so offended. He is twice divorced now, so I don't think it is his place to choose who dates who.

Quoting happinessforyou:

I just wonder why some people take such a perverse pleasure in hurting others. Usually people they don't even know. Don't you wonder how your brother, as an adult, has not learned a better way to handle people??

Quoting 3gurlz1boy:

I think some kids can be taught to bully by others, and become bullies. I have also seen kids who do it because they seem to enjoy it. Sort of a personality flaw, maybe? My older brother was a horrible bully when we were kids and he is still pretty punky as an adult. He really enjoyed making others miserable.



bresmommy21
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2015 at 11:18 AM
1 mom liked this

Its definitely the teenagers fault, you cant assume the home life as the problem though. I had a situation with an 9 th grader bullying and being physical with my daughter. when it came down to it the mother refused to come to the school to talk to the police. The 9th grader already had a parole officer.

lwalker270
by Member on Feb. 5, 2015 at 11:20 AM

My son has been the recipient of bullying.  I blame the children for their actions, not their parents.

happinessforyou
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2015 at 11:22 AM

I think you nailed it with the self-esteem comment.... :(

Quoting 3gurlz1boy:

I think it is a self esteem issue, myself. He always acts like he is the best at everything and everyone else is an idiot. He loves to put people down every chance he gets. When he met my little brother's gf for the first time, he asked her what in the world was she doing with him, she could do so much better. She was so offended. He is twice divorced now, so I don't think it is his place to choose who dates who.

Quoting happinessforyou:

I just wonder why some people take such a perverse pleasure in hurting others. Usually people they don't even know. Don't you wonder how your brother, as an adult, has not learned a better way to handle people??

Quoting 3gurlz1boy:

I think some kids can be taught to bully by others, and become bullies. I have also seen kids who do it because they seem to enjoy it. Sort of a personality flaw, maybe? My older brother was a horrible bully when we were kids and he is still pretty punky as an adult. He really enjoyed making others miserable.




happinessforyou
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2015 at 11:26 AM

Uhm... if a 9th grader already has a parole officer, AND the parent refuses to meet with you at school-that screams problems at home to me..... and I think that mom was done parenting even though her child obviously still needed a parent. :(

Quoting bresmommy21:

Its definitely the teenagers fault, you cant assume the home life as the problem though. I had a situation with an 9 th grader bullying and being physical with my daughter. when it came down to it the mother refused to come to the school to talk to the police. The 9th grader already had a parole officer.


happinessforyou
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2015 at 11:29 AM

IDK- while every case is different, and kids need to be held resposible, I still believe that the first line is with the parents.

I worked at a middle school for 3 years as the in-school suspension supervisor. I had to call/meet with parents all the time and believe me, for every kid in my room for the first offense, there were 20 others coming in right behind who were always in trouble. Guess which parent I could get to come in???

Cronic offenders have the worse parents.... :(

Quoting lwalker270:

My son has been the recipient of bullying.  I blame the children for their actions, not their parents.


3gurlz1boy
by Member on Feb. 5, 2015 at 11:30 AM

My older brother never bullied him, and he was a popular kid at school. He just never seemed to be a happy kid. Maybe putting negative attention onto others made him feel better about himself  :(  We grew up poor, and I think that's what it stemmed from. He didn't dress poor because people gave us clothes all the time. Kids at school didn't know he was poor. 

Quoting happinessforyou:

I think you nailed it with the self-esteem comment.... :(

Quoting 3gurlz1boy:

I think it is a self esteem issue, myself. He always acts like he is the best at everything and everyone else is an idiot. He loves to put people down every chance he gets. When he met my little brother's gf for the first time, he asked her what in the world was she doing with him, she could do so much better. She was so offended. He is twice divorced now, so I don't think it is his place to choose who dates who.

Quoting happinessforyou:

I just wonder why some people take such a perverse pleasure in hurting others. Usually people they don't even know. Don't you wonder how your brother, as an adult, has not learned a better way to handle people??

Quoting 3gurlz1boy:

I think some kids can be taught to bully by others, and become bullies. I have also seen kids who do it because they seem to enjoy it. Sort of a personality flaw, maybe? My older brother was a horrible bully when we were kids and he is still pretty punky as an adult. He really enjoyed making others miserable.





lwalker270
by Member on Feb. 5, 2015 at 11:35 AM

While it may be the case sometimes, I'm not going to automatically place blame on the parents of a middle schooler when I know nothing about his home-life, his parents as people, or his environment.   

Quoting happinessforyou:

IDK- while every case is different, and kids need to be held resposible, I still believe that the first line is with the parents.

I worked at a middle school for 3 years as the in-school suspension supervisor. I had to call/meet with parents all the time and believe me, for every kid in my room for the first offense, there were 20 others coming in right behind who were always in trouble. Guess which parent I could get to come in???

Cronic offenders have the worse parents.... :(

Quoting lwalker270:

My son has been the recipient of bullying.  I blame the children for their actions, not their parents.






The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald



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