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ugh im so pissed off ppl are so ungreatful

Posted by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 4:59 AM
  • 7 Replies
Ok my husbands mother passed away in January and yes we lived with them cause he wanted to stay close to hus mom and help her cause she needed help and her 4 other children never had time to help her unless they needed something... Well the months leading up to her passing my husband and i got very close with her and our newborn daughter as well even tho she isnt my husbands( the fact he is a ftm) she always considerd her hrr grandbaby and she loved her with all hrr heart.. She helped save my marriage(even tho she didnt truly believe in it)... And she saved me from hurting myslef.... Well after she had passed evrtyone started leaving us out of everything... The planning of the funeral the service.. Everything... And one day they were leaving and my husband happend to walk into them while they were leaving and he begged them if he could go so they let him.. They get to the funeral home and they wouldnt let him have a say in what urn they were getting or what to put in the obituary(even tho he k ew everything about her and had to help answer all the questions).... And then they were going to use his birth name wich He had legally changed as well as his gender marker just because they wanted to be ass holes(even his mother didnt cll him by that name any more) and then to add on to it they didnt want to include our daughter in her list of grandchildren!!!!!! LIKE REALLY ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!! So after fighting with them they put hus nick name and finally after being told by his aunt that she does count as a grandchild the fact that she was their for her birth and even told everyone she is her grandbaby they finally put her on the list.... But my husband was so upset about all that that he called me bawling.... Like really... And in the background while he was talking to me i heard his sister tell him " see this is why we didnt want you to come we were teying to sneak away cause we did not want you to have any part in this cause of what you are.. We dont care if mom accepted you or not and we dont care that yoy missed 2 weeks of work to sit with mom every day at the hispital till she passed we didnt want you hear...... He tried to kill himself that night... It hurt him that bad.... They had no respect what so ever...... And they put no pictures of him up there with her but all the other kids were up there..... And last week his sister had the fucking nerve to tell him he needs to pay his share of the funeral costs!!!!!!!! Like fucking for real!!!!! Every one of her kids got 26 thousand and her husband got 26 thousand plus an extra 16 thousand and they are saying theu dont carethat he didnt get to do anything for the funeral he just needs to pay his share!!! Like ugh how fucking dare you ask that!!!! After all of that are you fucking high or just stuck on stupid.... We moved out and now his dad is complaining about how he cant pay all the bills alone and blah blah but he was the one that made us want to move out of there after she died...."and these people are supposed to be Pentecostal Christians ' some Christians they are my gosh iv never been to such a more hateful church in my life!!!!! Ughhh am i wrong for being so mad at them for asking him to pay for some of the funeral????
by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 4:59 AM
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by Silver Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 6:31 AM

I can see why you are upset, but if your husband got his share of the inheritance then he should pay his share of the funeral expenses, even if they did leave him out, do it out of respect for her, not them.

by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 15, 2015 at 10:12 AM

Why don't you write an obiturary of your own in the newspaper the way you want it? 

Your complaining about not being included in the dealing's with funeral but when it comes to sharing the cost you don't want to be?  Well, how ironic is that? Rolleyes

And being of religious faith has nothing to do with it.  Are you an atheist?

by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 15, 2015 at 11:39 AM
2 moms liked this

Your husband did his part--by being there when it mattered.   I wouldn't give them a dime.  They wanted to make all the decisons, they can pay the bill.  Had they kept their cruel remarks to themselves, or treated him with the slightest bit of "christian charity" then it would be different--but they didn't.  It's not like you're going to have a relationship with these people--they're obviously not going to be inviting or including you in holidays or other family things.  These are relatives--not family.

It's time to create a new family with people who love and support you both, just as you are.  I also think that your dh might do well with some counselling.....he has to be secure in himself so that nothing anyone says can shake him.  <3 


by Gold Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 2:43 PM

I'm so sorry for the loss of your MIL and the grief your husband is experiencing at both her loss and at the way his family is treating him.  (((hug)))

by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 4:03 PM
1 mom liked this

dont pay them anything. ur husband did his part by being there and taking care of his mom when they didnt want to lift a finger. id say fuck them and walk away and let them deal with the cost on their own

by Bronze Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 11:02 PM

He was there for her, loved her, cared for her, and made sure she wasn't alone when she passed. They can all go fuck themselves, and he needs to NOT give them one red fucking cent.

by Member on Mar. 17, 2015 at 12:50 AM
I'm sorry you guys have to deal with that crap. At least he was there for his mom when she needed him most!
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