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Married but feel like a single parent and alone

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies
I currently have 2 kids and one on the way. My husband wanted another child and I gave in. I am thinking that wasn't the right thing to do. See my husband will not voluntarily do things with our kids, or help out with them. just reading a simple book at bedtime is like pulling teeth. I feel like I am a single parent raising our kids, they beg for his attention and our daughter has looked at other males for that fatherly attention... She is only four!! I just don't know what to do.... Any advice?
Posted by Anonymous on May. 17, 2015 at 7:54 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Bronze Member on May. 17, 2015 at 9:15 AM
You could force it by leaving the house and making him participate. You could talk to him, pointing out DDs behavior.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 17, 2015 at 9:34 AM
I have tried talking to him multiple times and he always goes on defense. If I leave him home with the kids nothing changes, he just sits on the couch
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 17, 2015 at 9:36 AM
I have come home before and the baby is still in a dirty diaper and the kids hadn't been fed
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 17, 2015 at 11:48 AM
1 mom liked this
Tell him you expect him to step up to the plate, or you will not have anymore to do with him, tell him not doing his share is not only selfish and unfair, but he is not doing DD any favors by him not spending quality time with her, and he will regret that because she will always remember how he never spent time with her.
If he won't listen.insist he go to counseling with you. He is obviously very lazy and selfish.and a disconnected dad.
cryssor
by New Member on May. 17, 2015 at 1:02 PM

This is a tough situation. He needs to figure out his priorities and if you get to a breaking point you may have to force him to make decisions about what is important to him. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 17, 2015 at 1:10 PM
I can't have a civil conversation with him. I tried the other night and he lost it and drove off... He came home and slept on the couch. He has been previously married and he doesn't even attempt to get in contact with his son... If God forbid we part I have a feeling my kids will lose their father. Counseling is super touchy if I bring it up he will think it's me who needs it not him.
armywifey1983
by on May. 17, 2015 at 1:18 PM

Tell him how it is. Your kids are not getting the male influence that they are craving, so they are looking around for a replacement. It will hurt to hear, but it's the truth. If he can't accept it or acts like it isn't his fault or his issue to fix, it's time to actually take him out of the equation (since he doesn't want to be a part of it anyway). Your children deserve better, and so do you!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 17, 2015 at 1:22 PM
Well now we know what caused his previous marriage to end.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 17, 2015 at 2:41 PM

 

Quoting Anonymous 1: I can't have a civil conversation with him. I tried the other night and he lost it and drove off... He came home and slept on the couch. He has been previously married and he doesn't even attempt to get in contact with his son... If God forbid we part I have a feeling my kids will lose their father. Counseling is super touchy if I bring it up he will think it's me who needs it not him.

His behavior doesn't sound like he wanted to be a father even from his previous relationship history.  You shouldn't have never even had the first one with him.   Looks like you'll have to go solo in being there for your children. If you keep pushing the issues he'll leave for good and then you really will be raising them alone. 

3gurlz1boy
by Member on May. 17, 2015 at 3:02 PM

I was married to this for too long. He was the one who wanted a baby, but then didn't help with anything. He loved himself more than anyone else, including his child. Maybe talking or therapy will work for you. Best of luck!

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