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MIL Rant- Ugh!! (Little long)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 7 Replies

My husband and I went out of town this weekend, first time we've had a vacation in almost three years. We left the kids with his parents.

Before I rant about my MIL, let me say that I'm lucky. She's a sweet lady who loves and accepts me, even though I'm way different than her. However, we have vastly different ideals about how to raise kids, specifically my kids, her only grandkids. Sometimes that is a big problem. In fact, I only ask her to watch them when I'm desperate, maybe one day a month and overnight only every other month or so, despite the fact that we only live 20 minutes away and I'm sure she'd watch them as much as I wanted.

Well, she wasn't watching the twins and they got into a black marker. They do this at home sometimes, too. They'll draw all over their legs and arms and on fingernails. When it happens at home, I just leave it alone. I mean, it's permanent marker, and it doesn't come off easily.

But she scrubbed it off until their skin turned red and raw. And I'm pretty sure she did that because she was taking them to her church for some function, and didn't want her cute little twin granddaughters showing up in their frilly dresses with black marker all over them. That was Thursday, and each of them still have patches on their legs and arms where she scrubbed them.

I'm not sure if I'm more pissed that it didn't occur to her that rubbing so hard would leave marks, or that she only did it because of her stupid church function. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure she would have left the marker on there.

I haven't sufficiently calmed down to talk to her about it. When we picked them up yesterday and I noticed it, I thought they had both fallen and scraped themselves up on a sidewalk. When she told me what it was, I was so mad, I just swallowed my emotions until we left, then vented in the car. My husband thinks I'm overreacting, of course.

Tomorrow I plan to call her. I'm mainly going to make sure she understands that they are too fair skinned to be scrubbed on, no matter what. My husband is the same, with really fair, sensitive skin, so I can't imagine she doesn't remember what that was like. I still have to use special detergent because of his sensitivities. I might also guilt her a little bit. And, I might just let them into the black markers before she wants to take them to church again, so that she realizes it's not the end of the world if they aren't picture perfect.

A) I do keep permanent markers up and away at home. You're telling me your kids never figure out where you hide the stuff they want the most?

B) No, I don't keep them at home when they have marker on them. They're kids. In fact, when we've gone out and they've had marker all over, I've had parents tell me their kids were obsessed with markers, too, and they had the same issue.

C) I wash my kids every night. They are usually pretty dirty and I scrub pretty good. If they have what looks like road rash on their legs and arms, she scrubbed too damned hard. It looks like she used a steel wool pad or something. It's four days later and the marks are just starting to go away. There were even spots that were scabbed over, so blood was drawn as well.

I love how CM moms always try to turn the situation around. I wasn't even there, man. How is this remotely my fault?

And no, the kids won't be staying with Grandma again until they are old enough to wash themselves. And they'll probably never be going to her church again.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 17, 2015 at 8:42 PM
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Replies (1-7):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 17, 2015 at 9:15 PM

I suggest you don't have her babysit your children again if you are that protective of them.  Let it go.

Tonysgurl05
by on May. 17, 2015 at 9:42 PM
I would be mad too. She shouldn't have done that they r kids. Kids get into stuff and aren't always picture perfect. She could of skipped the church thing instead. I would just tell her it hurt them and left marks which is unexceptable and to not ever leave marks on my child again for any reason. U have to make point or she will do it again
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 17, 2015 at 9:54 PM

These things happen. If their skin is so sensitive, she may not have rubbed hard as you suggested. Instead of trying to "guilt" her or deliberately letting your kids cover themselves in marker just to cause her embarrassment at a church function, why not concentrate on teaching them to not do this and to keep on hand things appropriate for cleaning up such things.

Suckit90
by on May. 18, 2015 at 1:09 AM
Things do happen. But a permanent market?!?! Uh no. If it were a wash away child's market sure. But I also blame you for allowing these children acess to a permanent market and then taking them out with it all over. Yes it can take sometime to come off, but if you wash it away it it does fade away over a day or two. You're gonna sit and tell me you don't go anywhere for 2 days when they get a hold of a market?
ZamilyMom
by Bronze Member on May. 18, 2015 at 12:02 PM

Your MIL tried to scrub the sarcasmpermanent marker off of your children's skin?  How horrible! Never let her around your children again.

ksputman
by Member on May. 18, 2015 at 12:15 PM

i wonder if she tried to use a mr clean magic eraser....that will leave pretty much skin burns is what i call it, it stays for awhile.  my son 2 got ahold of 24 hour lip gloss over the weekend and gave himself war paint.  im not scrubbing his face raw to get it off, he keeps it on regardless to where we are going until it wears off.  i dont understand scrubbing a child raw, people understand that they are kids and kids get into things...smh

angl_gurl1
by on May. 18, 2015 at 12:24 PM

i wouldnt have her babysit ever again. i understand and get that kids get into markers but scrubbing a kid like that is tooo hard.

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