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Am I crazy??

Posted by on Jun. 2, 2015 at 8:24 PM
  • 26 Replies
My entire life my maternal grandmother has been a pot stirrer. My parents had rough times and she felt it her job to completely inform my sister and I of all their marital problems. Things well beyond the comprehension of a child.

Throughout the years she made it very apparent that she's only interested in drama. My dad got diagnosed with lung cancer in 09 and died within 3 months. She made the comment to my sister that she was glad he died because now she never has to worry about our mom and dad getting back together. Gosh. Thanks.

Fast forward a couple of years of her randomly stopping by my house at 9 am unannounced making suggestions of going out for ice cream or the toy store in front of my kids. So what..am I suppose to say no?? And be the bad guy? And then stick me with the bill. Of course I was always too nice to say anything. She's my grandma.. You know? I was a SAHM at the time. If I ever mentioned my husbands crazy work schedule her advice was to watch out Bc he's probably cheating. One day, coincidentally on my uncles birthday, my paternal grandmother died. I told my mom that we (hubby,kids and I ) were not going to the party. I was sad and didn't feel like being around people..esp maternal grandmother Bc she would undoubtedly have hurtful comments. Once she found out we were not coming she called me, I let it go to voice mail. She left a nasty message " how dare I" and she's " fucking pissed " among many other harsh things. I was hurt and angry and knew if I called her back I would say things that could not be unsaid. So I never called back. She's emailed me twice "apologizing " it's been 3 years now. I don't miss her at all. I feel so much less stress. With all these things everyone in my family is mad at me! Mad I don't talk to her. Mad I cut her out of my life. They think I should " get over it" Literally none of them acknowledge my existence. Why am I the bad guy? Am I crazy for cutting ties with such negativity? Not to mention how little respect did she have for me if that's what she says to me after loosing my dad's mom?! I feel completely justified. Sorry this is a novel and a half.
by on Jun. 2, 2015 at 8:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jmlmomma
by Member on Jun. 2, 2015 at 8:30 PM
5 moms liked this

sounds like you are justified to me... We can't control who we are related to but we can control who we allow in our life. toxic is toxic no matter who they are.

3gr8tKids
by Member on Jun. 2, 2015 at 8:33 PM
1 mom liked this
You sound like a level headed nice person. I'm sorry this is how they decide to treat you. It but be very hurtful. I hope you have strong ties to your husbands family.
Good luck and best wishes!
offrdngal
by Bronze Member on Jun. 2, 2015 at 8:34 PM
2 moms liked this
Let everyone be pissed off. They'll get glad again. You are absolutely justified for feeling as you do and for cutting her out.
Ladybugmama86
by New Member on Jun. 2, 2015 at 8:35 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting jmlmomma:

sounds like you are justified to me... We can't control who we are related to but we can control who we allow in our life. toxic is toxic no matter who they are.


ZOSO
by New Member on Jun. 2, 2015 at 8:49 PM
Thank you everyone. Life is too short right? Just having a moment.
copasetic1
by Member on Jun. 2, 2015 at 11:08 PM
1 mom liked this

After many years of being treated like shit by my siblings, I cut them out of my life. Best decision ever.

surromama
by Member on Jun. 2, 2015 at 11:12 PM
You did the right thing. The things she said were uncalled for. It sounds like you did the best thing for your sanity. You wouldn't want her talking to your kids like that.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 3, 2015 at 5:32 AM

my maternal grandmother was the same - only happy when pitting people against each other or talking shit about whoever wasn't there at the time.  I cut her out about 7 years before she died.  and everyone kept telling me I would regret it when she died, but she passed about 7 years ago now and I don't regret keeping chaos out of my life at all.  I miss the grandmother I wish I'd had, but not her as a person.

Shai4710
by Silver Member on Jun. 4, 2015 at 3:13 AM
My mom is the same way! She will say something mean or inappropriate and then wonder why no one wants to deal with her. You get tired of the crap and you being nice while they walk all over you. I would've cut her off too.
happyolechimp
by Bronze Member on Jun. 4, 2015 at 6:23 AM
best to do so in your kids and yours early years....I waited too long....
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