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Is this a forgiveable offence?

Posted by on Oct. 26, 2015 at 3:31 PM
  • 60 Replies

My husband and I are in a fight. He doesn't fight fair. He doesn't tell me what he is mad about and when asked what is he mad about, he tells me to leave him alone and refuses to talk to me for days on end. Longest time was 21 days. as annoying as that can be, that's not what my real vent is about. He's not speaking to my son. He is the Step-parent and I know that I should say "our" son. But when you read what he pulled you will know why he doesn't deserve the courtesy. 

My son's birthday was on Friday, we were on day 6 of not speaking. He didn't tell my son Happy Birthday nor give him the presents that he bought for him that came in the mail earlier that week. Apparently he wanted me to give him the gifts since he so kindly kept placing them on the foot of my bed. (We have separate checking accounts so he buys gifts and I buy my own gifts.) To add insult to injury he made sure (and told me as such) that he wasn't around for my son's birthday party. So when it was time to cut the cake, my son asked, "where's dad?" To which I had no answer.


When my husband gets his head out of his backside, do I forgive him for this? I feel like it's unforgivable but it might be because I am angry. 

by on Oct. 26, 2015 at 3:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Dardenella
by Bronze Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 4:05 PM
2 moms liked this

This is rediculous behavior to you alone. When you also punish a child who has nothing to do with your problem that is pretty low.

I myself have gotten to angry to discuss something for A COUPLE OF HOURS.    To go more than 24 hours and involve someone else is a definite problem.

Either you get into counseling or I see no happy ending.

Jinxed8
by Silver Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 4:12 PM

 Wow ... this is ridiculous.  Getting the silent treatment for a few hours is about as far as I'll tolerate, nevermind 6 days ... and to your son on his birthday.  That's just wrong. 

anon1986East
by Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 5:03 PM

No, I wouldn't forgive him for it. He is acting worse than a child and obviously has some maturity issues. My husband and I sometimes give one another the silent treatment (usually just for a few hours, the most a day), just long enough to let cooler heads prevail but neither of us refuse to explain to one another why we're mad and we certainly don't take it out on our kids, or anyone else for that matter. When he's pissed he lets me know, and tells me exactly why he's pissed. I do the same. I'm not going to stew in my own anger, and not explain why I'm pissed because if my husband doesn't know why I'm pissed how is he going to make it right? Or avoid it in the future?  

phoenix7
by New Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 5:04 PM

thats obnoxious

"hippy" mamma to lots of lovies

videogamer
by New Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 5:25 PM


Quote: by Dardenella
 on Oct. 26, 2015 at 4:05 PM

This is rediculous behavior to you alone. When you also punish a child who has nothing to do with your problem that is pretty low.

I myself have gotten to angry to discuss something for A COUPLE OF HOURS.    To go more than 24 hours and involve someone else is a definite problem.

Either you get into counseling or I see no happy ending.

What do you mean that I punished the child. I did no such thing. I was there for his birthday party, I gave him his gifts and picked up his friends. I asked my husband if he wqas even going to bother to say Happy Birthday to my son. But he didn't. He was the one that found out when the party was and left. I've been trying to get him to talk for days and all my husband does is tell me to leave him alone. I've haven't done anything wrong. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Oct. 26, 2015 at 5:48 PM
Your relationship is horrible, and staying involved with someone who has so little respect for you and how much this is affects your son I can't even imagine! He was probably so hurt about his best and he has to be OK love in a house with all those negative tension in the environment.... You have to make this change or think who is more important you your son or your dh. I am sorry but just being honest from an outside perspective and what information I have read from the post.
TurtleMami
by Bronze Member on Oct. 27, 2015 at 6:29 AM
Why are you married?
TurtleMami
by Bronze Member on Oct. 27, 2015 at 6:29 AM
Why are you married?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 27, 2015 at 6:43 AM
Is your child's dad dead? If not, it's absurd that you are encouraging them to call stepdad "dad" and even consider calling them "our" child. He's acting immature but maybe this is something to do with feeling pressured to take a role he didn't want.
Perstephane92
by Member on Oct. 27, 2015 at 6:53 AM
That's not a relationship. Your husband acts like a 3 year old.
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