Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Need advice ...... about my 16 year old stepson.......

Posted by on Nov. 16, 2015 at 4:41 PM
  • 14 Replies
so.... I have a stepson who is 16 years old, also 5 younger children. I'm so lost and confused of what i should be doing.... I have been in his life since he was 9. he lives with us all the time... He was such a good kid.. i don't know what happened.. it started almost two years ago, when he got a girl pregnant... So yes im a grandmother at 29. he ditches school, I ask him why he didn't go to school and he replies i didn't feel like it.... He drinks, smokes weed, even has done other drugs, which i found out through Facebook, he smokes cigarettes and doesn't follow rules at home, cusses, leaves and does whatever he wants, he is on probation for drinking and smoking weed at school last year, he has stolen money from us, also in trouble for breaking into cars. he is real mean to the younger children ... it just seems that my world is crushed when i come home and he is there i try to help him.... I do i tell him we can look for jobs, or i can help him with school if he is struggling , even tried to get him to talk with counselors... but he says he doesn't want me in his business he called me a bitch... that is not OK... His father sees it but doesn't follow through on appropriate punishments.... When im a suppose to say enough is enough.... It hurts but i feel like if he continues to act disrespectfully to me and his father he will have to find somewhere else to live.... I dont want the younger children to think his behavior is ok.... Im looking into job corps and also idk maybe jail is the best route for him.... Please help....Need advice...........
by on Nov. 16, 2015 at 4:41 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
by Anonymous 1 on Nov. 16, 2015 at 4:48 PM
3 moms liked this
Honestly i would give him an ultimatum. Either go to rehab or another drug program, finish school and shape up, or he would be out of my house. And if he chooses to leave my house that would be cutting all ties. No calling daddy when he is in trouble....dont knock on my door in the middle of the night and scared cold or stern and follow through with your decision. Good luck
by Silver Member on Nov. 16, 2015 at 4:55 PM

Whoa your husband needs to nip this in the butt like yesterday !!!!!!!!! especially if he's around other children and disrespecting you in your own home... that is just un-acceptable.

Drinking, drugs, breaking into cars and skipping school at 16 is no joke, he's gonna become a hard criminal if something isn't done soon.  Talk to your husband and see what options are offered for him.

by New Member on Nov. 16, 2015 at 5:04 PM

I think i will tonight when i get home from work...... I just feel bad, i wish he could just change.... but im tired of it and i dont think it is a phase that he will grow out of..... thanks for the advice

by Bronze Member on Nov. 16, 2015 at 8:45 PM

tell him he either gets into rehab or he needs to find somewhere else to live

by Bronze Member on Nov. 18, 2015 at 9:54 PM

i think the problem is your dh..doesnt he care that his son is a fuck up,a teen dad,mean to his younger siblings and disrespectful to his sm?

by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 19, 2015 at 10:01 AM
Where is his baby ?
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 19, 2015 at 11:01 AM
Your husband needs to take a more active roll in being a disciplinarian. My brother was kinda like that years ago. My dad knocked him on his ass and explained that his options are follow the rules, or gtfo. Boom. He straightened up his act.

Your step son may need something like that and a long talk about getting his shit together so he can be an effective parent to his own child. And if all else fails, you may need to get him out of your home and away from the younger children. They can't have that behavior as an example of how to treat their parents.
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 19, 2015 at 12:30 PM

There are plenty of programs out there to send him to.   

Please tell me that him and his girlfriend gave this baby up for adoption.

by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2015 at 1:03 PM

At 16, I would think he is too young for job corps and the military.   Are there any alternative schools in your district or any schools for troubled kids?  I think he needs something like a military school that will tear him down and build up a good, strong young man.  

From his perspective, I an't imagine becoming a parent at 14 years old.  My DD is 14 right now and there is no way she could handle a baby.  I imagine that he is overwhelmed and the drugs, smoking and drinking are self-medicating issues.   He should be having a great time at 16, but instead, maybe he thinks he has messed everything up.   He has failed his parents, his child, his girlfriend, school....that is alot for a 16 year old ot process.

Maybe you could look to see if there is a group of young dads that could be his mentor or find a local businessman that may be willing to mentor him.  I think he just needs help navigating through this crazy life he has created.     jail is not the answer and will only make the matter worse for everyone.

by Anonymous 5 on Nov. 19, 2015 at 1:06 PM

This is a perfect example showing not everyone should be a parent.  I would be really ticked if my Dh wasn't taking an active role in helping his son.  You know he will do the same to your children, right?  he will tune out and stick his head into the sand.  If he doesn't know how to parent, then you both need to talk to someone who can help him learn to be a dad and take control of this situation.  His son needs him. He has failed his son and he may be the key to fixing this situation.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)