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Need family support

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 20 Replies

My father in law passed away and my parents will be taking a trip during his services.  I am hurt that they will not be able to attend to support me and my husband during this time.  I do not ask my parents for much, but I did tell them that I really needed them to come.  

I understand that they have a conflict, but they can afford to be flexible.  They could leave the two week trip a little early or take a couple of days to fly back and forth.  

I am not angry, just hurt.  I feel like my parents drop everything for my step moms family.  They have never done that for my dads family, my sister or me.  I can't vent to anyone in my family since this is an on-going sore subject.   

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 11, 2016 at 7:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
marmie41
by Member on Jun. 11, 2016 at 7:45 PM
Technically your in laws are not their family.
NYmama96
by Member on Jun. 11, 2016 at 7:49 PM
4 moms liked this
I'm sorry for your loss.

However your in-laws are not a priority for your parents.

Dealing with loss is hard but as adults we have to learn to heal on our own.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 11, 2016 at 8:00 PM

I know it is not their family.  I would like them to come to support me and my husband. 

Quoting marmie41: Technically your in laws are not their family.


bluebunnybabe
by Bronze Member on Jun. 12, 2016 at 1:54 AM
It's a bit much to expect someone to change a trip.
Sorry for your loss.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 12, 2016 at 1:57 AM
1 mom liked this
Sorry for your loss. But you are a grown woman. Your parents aren't obligated to be there for someone they probably didn't know well. You have your husband and his family for support.
nikabear
by Member on Jun. 12, 2016 at 2:05 AM
I am sorry for your loss but why should they cancel their trip? You have your husband and his family for support........ Were your parents close to your father in law?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 12, 2016 at 2:47 AM
3 moms liked this

Being at the service is not the most important thing.  You will be grieving for weeks.  Your husband will be grieving for months /years.  Your parents will be back in 2 weeks.  When everbody who dressed up nice and came to the services wanders back to their own lives call your parents.  Ask for what you need. They may not be able to drop everything every time, but that doesn't mean they don't want to help as much as they can.  We all need a network of support so that if one person can't help we have another person we can call.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jun. 12, 2016 at 3:10 AM
Odd. My dad's cousins had a trip planned for months when he passed away. They weren't able to be there for the service, but it wasn't the end of the world.
I'm not sure why this is a big deal
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jun. 12, 2016 at 9:51 AM

Perhaps they are just tried of going to funerals.  It's time to grow up and handle it on your own with your husband and his family.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jun. 12, 2016 at 10:46 AM
1 mom liked this
That was inconsiderate of your FIL

JK
Sorry for your loss.
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