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I have a confession to make, while venting at the same time.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 195 Replies
1 mom liked this

good morning ladies!!

my dh and i have been together for almost 7 years and we've been married for 5 and we are currently divorced, but still together.  My confession is that i have never met his 2 children with his x-wife.  for 7 years i have been letting him tell me lies about how i will meet the kids and it never happens. 

now the vent!! i am so hurt and ashamed of this and i'm tired of being a secret to them.  I have met his other children and 1 of them even came to live with us for a while.  but these two are off limits. he keeps says things like, our living arrangements aren't good, but it was good enough for one of his other children to come and live with us.

i keep explaining to him that this makes me feel bad and he just dismisses my feelings towards it.  for 7 years i have been going through this and he still doesn't see it as problem.  I told him that he is letting too much time pass by. i even threatened to leave him because i feel like i'm a secret to his ex-wife and to his children.  I mean she knows that we are married but i don't think she takes our marriage serious. Not to mention, I feel like i'm harboring a "dead beat dad".

last night the daughter who is 8 or 9 fell and hit her head and he ran out the door to get to the hospital.  i was upset because i couldn't even go with him. i was so furious that i never even asked how she was doing. i admitted to him that i was wrong for not asking about her but the fact still remains that i don't know his children.  all he does is talk about them but i can't ever put a face to them.  he showed me a pic of his son the other day and i asked, "who is that?" and he said "it's my son" with such attitude.  but how was i supposed to know?

i posted on another forum about this a couple of years ago and some of the replies asked me why did this hurt me and why i cared.  they also said that i should be happy bc that's 2 less children that i have to deal with.  but i dont see it that way. it's really bothering me and i don't like the way it makes me feel.

how would you handle this situation??  am i wrong for feeling this way?? PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOIN ON HERE!!

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 18, 2016 at 10:14 AM
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Replies (1-10):
bluebunnybabe
by Bronze Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 10:17 AM
8 moms liked this
This is the strangest thing I've read in a while. Are you sure he even really has other kids?
astheworldspins
by Bronze Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 10:19 AM
3 moms liked this
You're currently divorced. It doesn't matter if you ever meet them.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 18, 2016 at 10:23 AM

lolololol yes, he really does.

Quoting bluebunnybabe: This is the strangest thing I've read in a while. Are you sure he even really has other kids?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 18, 2016 at 10:27 AM
1 mom liked this

but could you have a significant other and not meet his children?  he's involved in my children's lives.  i don't know. maybe i am overreacting.

Quoting astheworldspins: You're currently divorced. It doesn't matter if you ever meet them.


astheworldspins
by Bronze Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 10:29 AM
While I was married, I would want to at least meet them at some point and I would find it odd to never meet them. But at this point since you are divorced, it doesn't matter nor should it. To get mad about it now would be an overreaction.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

but could you have a significant other and not meet his children?  he's involved in my children's lives.  i don't know. maybe i am overreacting.

Quoting astheworldspins: You're currently divorced. It doesn't matter if you ever meet them.

bluebunnybabe
by Bronze Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 10:36 AM
Just asking. I actually knew someone a few years ago who went on & on about their kids. Turned out they didn't have any.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

lolololol yes, he really does.

Quoting bluebunnybabe: This is the strangest thing I've read in a while. Are you sure he even really has other kids?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 18, 2016 at 10:39 AM

lol ok. no, they're for real.  it just puzzles me why i'm such a secret.

Quoting bluebunnybabe: Just asking. I actually knew someone a few years ago who went on & on about their kids. Turned out they didn't have any.
Quoting Anonymous 1:

lolololol yes, he really does.

Quoting bluebunnybabe: This is the strangest thing I've read in a while. Are you sure he even really has other kids?



PinkButterfly66
by Silver Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 11:23 AM
15 moms liked this

First off, if you're no longer married, he is not your husband. It doesn't matter if you still live together, he is your exhusband, not your husband.  Second, are you sure he doesn't have another wife with kids and is living a double life?  If you are really that bothered by it, contact the 1st ex wife yourself and go meet the other kids.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 18, 2016 at 11:31 AM
1 mom liked this

you have a very valid point here. however, i don't think he's living a double life but i do feel like he's hiding something from his ex-wife since i could never meet them before, during and after our marriage. something just smells fishy to me.

and I guess I shouldn't be so uptight about it since we are divorced. it just feels wrong.

Quoting PinkButterfly66:

First off, if you're no longer married, he is not your husband. It doesn't matter if you still live together, he is your exhusband, not your husband.  Second, are you sure he doesn't have another wife with kids and is living a double life?  If you are really that bothered by it, contact the 1st ex wife yourself and go meet the other kids.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 18, 2016 at 11:35 AM

i have a question though;  do you think that i was wrong for feeling this way even when were married?

Quoting PinkButterfly66:

First off, if you're no longer married, he is not your husband. It doesn't matter if you still live together, he is your exhusband, not your husband.  Second, are you sure he doesn't have another wife with kids and is living a double life?  If you are really that bothered by it, contact the 1st ex wife yourself and go meet the other kids.


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