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He want's to go to court!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 21 Replies

I am very frustrated, upset, and stressed out over my daughters dad wanting to take me to court for visitations.  My daughter just started kindergarten this year, I have full custody because we was never married, and because he couldn't be put on her birth certificate until a year after she was born because he wasn't at the hospital. anyway, In the summer we had agreed on he gets her a week and I get her week, however i got to finding out that he wasn't keeping her he was sending her his wife's mom's house.  Now that she is in school he's still wanting to keep her a week and i get her for a week. but i wont agree to that because i feel like she needs to have stability. I told him that he could get her every other weekend and get a few days a week for a few hours. and in the summer he can get her every other week like we was doing. I split holiday's with him and he gets her on his birthday and father's day so its not like I'm keeping her from him But he WILL NOT agree with it. He says since he pays child support that he should get her every other week. which mind you he pays the lowest amount of child support because he lied and he didn't have job which he does have a job making 15 an hour. if he does take me to court will he get her every other week like he's wanting?

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 18, 2016 at 9:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 18, 2016 at 9:37 PM
3 moms liked this
You need to get a lawyer and tell him everything, and take him to court.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 18, 2016 at 9:38 PM
1 mom liked this
If you talk like you type, yes.

Seriously though, a father wants to see his child and you get angry, but if he didn't want to see her you'd get angry. What is best for your child in reality, not what you think. Does she enjoy going there? Is she excited to go? If you've been doing one week there and one with you, changing that could cause her to become upset and struggle. Think about your child, not your emotions. I say this as a bio mom and stepmom who's been in both sides of the issues.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 18, 2016 at 9:49 PM
Probably not let the judge know he's working and that he lied.....my ex did that after he took the dna test for my dd. We went in separate he went in first and then they let him out from the back.

Then they called us back together he told them he wasn't working on paper but he was working under the table. He was pissed when i told them he was working and told them where. He tried to tell me to shut up.

Thing is they already had him in the system and where he worked because he was paying for his other kids.

He fought me for joint custody though and got what he wanted.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 18, 2016 at 9:53 PM
No, she is not excited to go. She screams and cries and begs not wanting to go with her dad. Even when he kept her through the summer he didn't keep her his wife's mom always had her.

Quoting Anonymous 3: If you talk like you type, yes.

Seriously though, a father wants to see his child and you get angry, but if he didn't want to see her you'd get angry. What is best for your child in reality, not what you think. Does she enjoy going there? Is she excited to go? If you've been doing one week there and one with you, changing that could cause her to become upset and struggle. Think about your child, not your emotions. I say this as a bio mom and stepmom who's been in both sides of the issues.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Aug. 18, 2016 at 10:08 PM

Let him take you to court! YOU have full custody. and considering that she is in school now you are right, She needs stability! If he takes you to court he will get every other weekend visitations along with split holidays and such like you are wanting! If he isn't keeping her when he is supposed to then I would tell the judge that also especilly if you have proof! 


                                                                         Good Luck!

bluebunnybabe
by Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 10:11 PM
Lawyer! Here, he could get anything from standard visitation (basically what you've been giving him) to 50/50 and most of that will depend on who has the better lawyer. Sucks but it's the truth, at least around here.
Karopie_99
by Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 10:12 PM
1 mom liked this
I would talk with your case worker and have another financial affidavit put forth, ontop of having your child in school now, it coukd affect her performance as rules vary at each home.
MrsTMN12
by Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 11:28 PM
You need to document that and have solid proof that he's not using his time to spend with her. He's not doing his part so prove it. Also, not sure how your state is, but here both parents have to prove income by bringing paystubs and have to prove their bills. Our most recent court date screwed bm big time because she tried to lie and was caught by proof I had from text messages, emails, Facebook messages, and mental health records.

Quoting Anonymous 1: No, she is not excited to go. She screams and cries and begs not wanting to go with her dad. Even when he kept her through the summer he didn't keep her his wife's mom always had her.

Quoting Anonymous 3: If you talk like you type, yes.

Seriously though, a father wants to see his child and you get angry, but if he didn't want to see her you'd get angry. What is best for your child in reality, not what you think. Does she enjoy going there? Is she excited to go? If you've been doing one week there and one with you, changing that could cause her to become upset and struggle. Think about your child, not your emotions. I say this as a bio mom and stepmom who's been in both sides of the issues.
BratsGrandma
by on Aug. 19, 2016 at 10:51 AM

Here in NC I have found that it seems to be whatever the judge personally decides - and that can be unpredictable. 

Be sure to document every single thing that you possibly can in order to  present your case.  Don't do this by tearing him down (except of course you can point out issues such as your daughter isn't even staying with him and is emotionally distraught every time she has to leave), but instead by building yourself up - i.e. you are the one who enrolls her in preschool, classes, kindergarten, etc. and you make sure she sees the doctor regularly, and that she has play dates.  You know all her little friends, their parents, her teachers. You provide stability with bedtime routines, school routines, etc. That sort of thing.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Aug. 19, 2016 at 5:29 PM


Quoting Anonymous 1:

 if he does take me to court will he get her every other week like he's wanting?

Sure if he goes for 50/50. 

Have you thought about making a deal with him in where you'll give the child support, in exchange for no visitation rights for him.  This way your child isn't bouncing around place to place for years on end.  I feel sorry for the child because it's her that pays the price. 

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