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Is it sweet or not?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 22 Replies
1 mom liked this

We were watching "Chrisley Knows Best" last night and they showed a preview of the dad being angry with his son-in-law because he didn't come to him when he wanted to marry his daughter. My friend Sara said it's a disgusting, barbaric notion and that women are not property. I get that we're not property, but I think it's a sweet tradition and I understand how important it is to some fathers to have the young man ask his permission first. DH didn't have to ask my dad because my dad didn't care about that but my dad did have to ask my grandfather for my mom's hand. 

What do you think? Is it sweet or not to have your guy ask your dad before proposing to you?

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 7, 2016 at 1:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Roo1234
by Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 1:40 PM
3 moms liked this

I think if a young man wanted to do so that would be fine, but if the father is upset that it didn't happen that way, he (the father) is out of line.

Whatever you are, be your best
Wondermom002
by Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 1:44 PM
None of my dh's have asked my dad and for both marriages I didn't have a wedding
JennWow
by Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 3:37 PM
1 mom liked this

I think it's nice in a sense that it shows respect. Usually Dads are very protective of their daughters and I think it can be nice in  a way to approach the Dad to let him know that marriage is taken seriously. However is it necessary? Naw.  It doesn't matter anyway, if the woman doesn't want to marry the dude, it isn't going to happen even if permission was asked.

lucky2Beeme
by Bronze Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 3:39 PM
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My dh asked . my son asked .its about respect is what we were taught.
artistmom889
by on Sep. 7, 2016 at 4:02 PM
1 mom liked this

It's not about the woman being property, it's about respect for her family, which is also respect for her.

I LOVED it when my old-fashioned southern boy  made my Daddy cry because he was the only guy my sisters and I ever brought home who was respectful enough to ask , I hope one day a fellow asks for my daughter.

but I don't  think it means quite as much if it needs to be required.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 8, 2016 at 11:09 AM
1 mom liked this

My DH didn't ask for "permission" to marry me, but he did talk to my parents before he proposed. They asked him some serious questions and they talked, and my dad give his "blessing." DH certainly didn't *have* to ask, but I'm glad that he did. We are pretty traditional, but I don't see it as anyone owning me. It's just about respect.

Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Sep. 8, 2016 at 5:14 PM

I think it's a very nice tradition. 

mommaof697
by on Sep. 8, 2016 at 8:44 PM

I like the tradition

madeupwords
by Member on Sep. 8, 2016 at 9:07 PM
Since I've never had a father figure in my life, my dh decided to go to the matriarch of my family. He personally asked my gram if he could marry me and she said yes. I think it's more of a respect thing nowadays. Not a medieval property thing. Besides, my gram's opinion meant a lot to me. I'm glad she gave her blessing.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 8, 2016 at 9:08 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm sure my dad was pissed that my DH didn't ask, but my DH knows that I would have been pissed if he had. I was 25 and had been living on my own for years already. I was not my father's property. I agree that it's an antiquated and obnoxious tradition.
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