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WTF is up with the ANTI BULLY bs @ schools?

Posted by Anonymous
  • 28 Replies

Hey,, everyone sorry to start my posts this way, but I am sooooooo not OK with this. Ok. So when a bullying issue is reported at school- there is no REAL resolution. They have anti-bully posters, and assemblys where they TALK about how it is not ok and how to respond to being/seeing bullying. But when an issue is reported to school admin, nada. No resolution. The people envolved get a chat- thats not nice, don't talk to, look at so so and so(not joking). The person being bullied gets the same shpeil- with added- what are you doing to encourage the behavior?(again-no joke) avoid said persons- not usually an option in a small school( same sports teams etc). How do I convey how unhappy I am and get results-ie bullying to STOP. I have tried talking to my child, talking to the school, talking to my childs friends(that INCLUDES the ones giving the intermitent issues-friends one day -bully the next) The school is ADAMANT I not talk to the other parents- they say it will cause more trouble. I don't see how- if my child is causing an issue I would want to know. This has been going on for several YEARS- same group of mean girls "taking turns in the barrell" as the principal told me. I want to have a sit down chat with all kids and parents envolved -the school was supposed to organize the meeting last school year-didn't happen. Still hasn't happened. I am at my wits end -my child is now trying to opt out of activities to avoid conflict. Missing out on fun is not ok, feeling crappy all the time is not ok. HEPL!!!

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 27, 2016 at 9:28 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 27, 2016 at 9:31 AM

BTW-this is 9th grade-been going on since middle school.

by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 27, 2016 at 9:51 AM

Mean girls suck.

What I told my DD at that age is "Sadly in the next couple of years people you know are going to start to have real problems (death, sickness, financial hardship), then making fun of stupid little things like what shoes someone is wearing becomes really unimportant."  I just really tried to get her to believe that this would get better in time and it did.   

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 27, 2016 at 10:50 AM

I have tried to give her all the tools to cope-However I do not believe the school is doing enough. Not just for my child-but for all of them. Teaching how not to be a bully is just as important as how to deal with one. Asking a child what they did to be a target of bullying is just wrong.

by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 27, 2016 at 11:16 AM
Has it gotten physical or is it that they say mean things? Let the school know that if they do not arrange a meeting that you will go to the school board and file an official complaint against the administration. If they are physically budllying her, let them know you will be filing assault charges and escalating if they do not do more.
by Silver Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 11:47 AM

You go to the principal and remind the principal that s/he is required BY law to provide a hostile free environment for your child and if s/he doesn't stop the bullying you and  your lawyer will.  Usually the threat of a lawyer will be enough to get action.  If not, consult with a lawyer and both of you visit the School Administrator and come prepared with documentation of each incident and communications with school officials.

You really should have gone to the school administrator long before now, this should have stopped in middle school.  

If the bully is threatening, stalking, harassing, look into getting a restraining order.

by Bronze Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 11:50 AM

Define bullying. What are these other girls doing to your daughter?

by on Oct. 27, 2016 at 11:53 AM
I'd suggest that your kid do whatever necessary to stand up for herself. And assure her she won't be in trouble at home for it. She'll be rewarded for it. I'm a teacher.
by Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 11:57 AM

Talk to the principal. Tell them that you are going to give them one more opportunity to nip this in the bud before you go to the school board. Pinkbutterfly is right that a school should have a welcoming and safe environment. If your child is now avoiding activities where she is afraid she will encounter this same group of girls, then that is eroding away at what should be a good learning experience. While I think most schools do what they can to stop bullying, not all of them do enough. So you have to make a lot of noise on behalf of your kid. 

by Silver Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 12:00 PM

I guess if you've tried everything else you could tell them you're going public and calling a reporter and an attorney. Those bullies need consequenses, not just a talking to.

by Silver Member on Oct. 28, 2016 at 11:04 AM
You're right because when my son got bullied he handled what ever kid was messing with him. The school would want to reprimand my son when he was defending himself.
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