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Sometimes I feel like being a single mother is just easier

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 2 Replies

This is just a vent. I am pissed at my husband. Sometimes i swear he is so selfish and doesn't take into consideration that we have young kids and esp. right now that our 1 year old is NOT sleeping at night.
Last night telling me he would be going out till 9:30 and then call me at 9:30 to say that he will be staying out longer.. till after 12am.. is so fucking annoying esp. when I have to get up at 5:30 with the kids for work, he isn't working right now until the snow starts so he has the luxery of sleeping for however long he pleases during the day.
My son was up from 10pm to 1:30am crying.. non stop.. then from 3am to 4am. I texted him while he was out that the baby wouldn't stop crying or go to sleep and he says "Ill take over when Im home" 

If I was a single parent I would have zero expectations, know that I was going it alone, I would have to deal with it and not hope for someone to step in.

I have done the single parenting thing with my daughter so I know its not as easy as I just made it seem, but I am getting to a point where I don't know if I can do this anymore. UGH. 

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 28, 2016 at 8:44 AM
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Sissy-Smurf
by Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 6:32 PM

I'm thirty-six years old and when my mom passed this year, she and my dad were still married - they celebrated their 48th wedding anniversary in March. .  So I come from a strong background of staying together and grew up with both my parents under the same roof. 

I am a single mother. I have a two year old daughter and a six year old son. My being single wasn't how it was "supposed to go" ... Had I known that I was going to turn out a single mother, I would probably have never had my first baby - let alone another one. He and I were together four two years before we had our first - I thought for sure we were pretty well sealed. 

I've been a single mother a little over a year. Annnnd I prefer it. I don't like that my kids are going to grow up without both parents around constantly like I did but I do like it that I do everything - on my end - myself. He was childish, VERY, VERY, VERY selfish - and I wasn't a good person while I was with him. So, we cut our losses and we went our own separate way. 

He was here from Thanksgiving night until last night and I was like ok... He's my best friend and all - love the guy to death but my Lord, when's he gonna go back home?! I didn't wanna ask him to leave but I was so relieved when he did.. lol.. I love my space, I love doing it all on my own - the whole "I have all these balls up in the air, juggling them and if I get help from anyone, they'll all fall" thing.. 

As for you, try talkin' to your DH first. You're married - my SO and I were never married. We agreed that we'd divorce in less than six months if we had married.. At least we were smart enough to know it before we put the kids thru that, I guess. But yes, talk to him about things and see if you can work it out before thoughts of single motherhood invade your mind too much. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 29, 2016 at 7:56 AM

Thank you for this! 

Before I married my DH, I was a single mother to my 7 year old. It was HARD but very do able. The thing is as much as my DH annoys the crap out of me and is a pain in the ass, I cannot image a life without him. We spoke a lot last night, had a major fight, and I think we will be ok.

We are two very hard headed, competative, stubborn strong willed people, it can be very challenging to talk to either of us.. but I want to make it work, not just for me but for my kids, because my daughter has grown to love him, think of him as her dad and for her to have to be up rooted again.. would break my heart.  

Quoting Sissy-Smurf:

I'm thirty-six years old and when my mom passed this year, she and my dad were still married - they celebrated their 48th wedding anniversary in March. .  So I come from a strong background of staying together and grew up with both my parents under the same roof. 

I am a single mother. I have a two year old daughter and a six year old son. My being single wasn't how it was "supposed to go" ... Had I known that I was going to turn out a single mother, I would probably have never had my first baby - let alone another one. He and I were together four two years before we had our first - I thought for sure we were pretty well sealed. 

I've been a single mother a little over a year. Annnnd I prefer it. I don't like that my kids are going to grow up without both parents around constantly like I did but I do like it that I do everything - on my end - myself. He was childish, VERY, VERY, VERY selfish - and I wasn't a good person while I was with him. So, we cut our losses and we went our own separate way. 

He was here from Thanksgiving night until last night and I was like ok... He's my best friend and all - love the guy to death but my Lord, when's he gonna go back home?! I didn't wanna ask him to leave but I was so relieved when he did.. lol.. I love my space, I love doing it all on my own - the whole "I have all these balls up in the air, juggling them and if I get help from anyone, they'll all fall" thing.. As for you, try talkin' to your DH first. You're married - my SO and I were never married. We agreed that we'd divorce in less than six months if we had married.. At least we were smart enough to know it before we put the kids thru that, I guess. But yes, talk to him about things and see if you can work it out before thoughts of single motherhood invade your mind too much. 


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