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Man, that f***ing hurts.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 3 Replies

My son is almost 9. He has a few developmental delays, but is very high functioning. His main issues are that he's socially unskilled, like bad, and he's emotionally rigid.

Well, tonight I told him no more wii or any other devices (he gets an hour a night, games, computer, tv, his call). He started arguing back for more, so I said "No, and that's final, you know the rules." and walked away. This is normally what works best with him, but occasionally he has a meltdown. Tonight was one of those nights.

He really went straight for me. He made fun of me because I'm out of shape due to some back, hip, and leg issues (which all showed up shortly after my pregnancy with him, it was a rough one with lots of bed rest, lots of hospital stays, testing, etc.). He was yelling that I'm like an 'old man' and that he's embarrassed by me in public, etc.

Normally, I put on my 'special needs Mom armor' and just ignore the shit that rolls off his tongue when he gets like this. Honestly, as long as he targets me and not his sisters, I'm usually cool with it. But tonight it really stung. My husband works second shift, so this is me absorbing this all week long, alone. And tonight I just couldn't handle it. I snapped off on him, which is like the worst thing to do because then he goes from angry ranting to hurt crying, but I couldn't even comfort him. I just couldn't. I hate being out of shape, I hate being in pain all the time, and honestly, I don't have the money to deal with all of it at the doctors because we spend so much on him and his care (psychiatrist, meds, therapies). So I can't even get on a meds regimen to help with pain or therapy to bring back my body. I just hobble along and make due. And tonight I realized how angry I was, at him, the situation, my husband, everybody. I'm like a shell of a person who has given up everything for my children, and I resent it. My daughters are 4 years younger than him, and they were like "Bubba, you should not say that to Mommy, it's not kind." And of course it just broke my heart that they even had to take a side, and broke it even more that he doesn't even know what he did wrong. It's bed time and he's just sitting up there, playing quietly like nothing happened, and I'm just sitting downstairs, shattered.

Of course before bed we'll do a social story about what happened, what went wrong, what other choices we could have made. But like every other one we've done, probably hundreds by now, it will bounce right off him even though he's saying all the right things. And more than anything else, of course, this terrifies me for his future.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 28, 2016 at 9:41 PM
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Replies (1-3):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 29, 2016 at 5:03 AM
Well you may feel broken physically the fact that this is what you deal with shows youre stronger than you think. Take a deep breathe and hang in there. He loves you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 29, 2016 at 5:05 AM

I'm so sorry. I'm sure he really does love you to the moon.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

My son is almost 9. He has a few developmental delays, but is very high functioning. His main issues are that he's socially unskilled, like bad, and he's emotionally rigid.

Well, tonight I told him no more wii or any other devices (he gets an hour a night, games, computer, tv, his call). He started arguing back for more, so I said "No, and that's final, you know the rules." and walked away. This is normally what works best with him, but occasionally he has a meltdown. Tonight was one of those nights.

He really went straight for me. He made fun of me because I'm out of shape due to some back, hip, and leg issues (which all showed up shortly after my pregnancy with him, it was a rough one with lots of bed rest, lots of hospital stays, testing, etc.). He was yelling that I'm like an 'old man' and that he's embarrassed by me in public, etc.

Normally, I put on my 'special needs Mom armor' and just ignore the shit that rolls off his tongue when he gets like this. Honestly, as long as he targets me and not his sisters, I'm usually cool with it. But tonight it really stung. My husband works second shift, so this is me absorbing this all week long, alone. And tonight I just couldn't handle it. I snapped off on him, which is like the worst thing to do because then he goes from angry ranting to hurt crying, but I couldn't even comfort him. I just couldn't. I hate being out of shape, I hate being in pain all the time, and honestly, I don't have the money to deal with all of it at the doctors because we spend so much on him and his care (psychiatrist, meds, therapies). So I can't even get on a meds regimen to help with pain or therapy to bring back my body. I just hobble along and make due. And tonight I realized how angry I was, at him, the situation, my husband, everybody. I'm like a shell of a person who has given up everything for my children, and I resent it. My daughters are 4 years younger than him, and they were like "Bubba, you should not say that to Mommy, it's not kind." And of course it just broke my heart that they even had to take a side, and broke it even more that he doesn't even know what he did wrong. It's bed time and he's just sitting up there, playing quietly like nothing happened, and I'm just sitting downstairs, shattered.

Of course before bed we'll do a social story about what happened, what went wrong, what other choices we could have made. But like every other one we've done, probably hundreds by now, it will bounce right off him even though he's saying all the right things. And more than anything else, of course, this terrifies me for his future.


Prdmmyof678
by on Nov. 29, 2016 at 5:09 AM
*hugs*
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