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WTH is up with my hormones....

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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I find myself in a situation where i am questioning all the time. Literally all the time, and its all kinds of questions too. It could be about myself or even of my children or now of my husband and even that is the biggest question..is he my husband? in todays world it is not necessary to be married to call the man you have had a relationship for the past close to 8 yrs your husband, especially in the modern latin world. once you have had sex he is what you call ''tu marido''. i was raised by old school parents so i guess i'll just stick to my baby daddy but then again that is too ghetto and might as well just say the father of my children. 

it has been as i mentioned close to 8 yrs now that i have had an off again on again relationship with him and through it all we have had what is now 4 children, my most recent turned 1 month not too long ago. During these years it has been quite a ride. Some day i'll probably write about that but tonight i want to vent about how or what has been going on and as i mentioned before i find myself questioning is it me? is it him? what is it? see with the birth of our 4th child we or should i say me decided to move in with him. this is the first time i am actually living him and it has been a bit of a start of a roller coaster ride. Well actually it was more me being 6 months pregnant that we moved in, when we did it was actually different than what i anticipated. he was very hands on in taking care of the kids, and me and really did all the work in the house. and when it came to us being intimate well he just couldn't keep his hands off me. With this pregnancy there were complications in regards of health but thankfully i am fine and so is the baby. 

Having had the baby, it is where everything changed. when it comes to the children he is there for them and the baby? wakes up when i wake him even though he has to wake up early to burp him and change his diaper. We divided our job, i feed him he does the dirty deed in burping him and changing his diapers. As i mentioned having had the baby things changed and as you read it's more between me and him where the relationship has gone down. intimacy i feel like i have to ask and as a woman we all know that if it comes to the point of having to ask than might as well just not ask at all. when i have talked to him about it at first he would tell me you know its not just sex and i would try to explain to him no its not the sex i am seeking it is more the intimacy; the need and want of wanting to be with me. we would eventually or rather i would eventually just get more upset and cry and afterwards he would i guess give me my space and afterwards hold me and somehow bam he would want some. But yet afterwards i would just feel and even question, did he do this just to satisfy me? was this pity sex? ultimately our relationship is ok, but the intimacy is still not there. it's already bad enough that i look in the mirror and i cannot accept my body and how its completely changed and feel like im just not attractive enough. we laugh and we click as parents but now the biggest question is where are those people who just couldn't wait to hold each other and kiss and ultimately make love? why am i left alone?

i know its silly to even be feeling this way; but its like we woman say; just like men seek a womans warmth, faithfulness and even love. so do woman. 

it is becoming hard to not cheat; and i know its wrong just to seek some type of affection. but how can i get that from him when afterwards it just feels forced? ive spoken to my sister about this and in the end she has stated to me that its all in my head, it probably is, but its just something that is becoming very hard to shake.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 28, 2016 at 11:28 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 29, 2016 at 8:09 AM
The tiredness following a newborn with multiple children can be a nightmare. I felt like we were floating past each other most days and our intimacy level was mAybe a little cuddling before we were needed by one child or another. Things really hit when he deployed and we seemed to be in limbo. We only had the ability to talk to each other for almost a year. Oddly enough it actually helped us alot. The more we had those little talks the. More we were able to rekindle our love. It wasn't the space that did it it was taking time each day for us. It may have been only 15 minutes but it was our 15 minutes. Maybe that would help for you set aside time each day for just the two of you and reconnect in your new roles and perhaps the romance will follow
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