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Daughter wants to get gifts for all of her friends....

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 22 Replies

We are struggling a bit this year with all the Christmas gifts we need to buy because our family has grown. My 12 yr old keeps coming home saying so-and-so is getting me a gift so I told her I'd buy her "X" (gift of $10-15).  She has a small allowance but is using a lot of that to buy immediate family gifts so she wants me to buy her friend's gifts. There are at least 4 girls she's "promised" specific gifts to. Do your kids do this?? How would you respond? I don't want to discourage her giving nature, but I can't afford all these extra gifts!


UPDATE: 

Thanks for all the great responses!! I did sit her down and explain that she would have to think of a way to make gifts for her friends and she was actually excited about it. I didn't give her any suggestions but she found some DIY's for Lip scrubs and used her allowance to buy the supplies and is getting together with another friend to make candles this week as other friend gifts. She made Cotton Candy, Vanilla, and Blue Raspberry lip scrubs and they turned out great!! Thanks Ladies!

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 13, 2016 at 1:32 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 13, 2016 at 1:42 PM
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No....and it's not about discouraging a giving nature--it's about teaching financial responsibility. At 12 she should know what a budget is, that your family lives on a budget and that coming up with 40-50 dollars extra doesn't work unless you plan ahead. it's disappointing to not be able to give the gifts you'd like, but it's also a learning experience.

kewimom
by Member on Dec. 13, 2016 at 2:15 PM
3 moms liked this

Have her make Sugar Body Scrub for her friends.  Decorate the jar cute.   There is a ton of recipes online and the ingredients are cheap or you may already have them in your kitchen.

kgsharber
by Member on Dec. 13, 2016 at 2:19 PM
4 moms liked this
Frame a picture of the group of them and give it to all. I swear, that's all they really want is a tangible picture now.
Jinxed8
by Silver Member on Dec. 13, 2016 at 3:58 PM
1 mom liked this

find more affordable gifts for your DD to give her friends ... explain to DD that an extra $50 is just not something you can swing right now - give her $20 and tell her to make due with it.  There is a lot she can do for a couple bucks including a cute framed picture of her and her friends like someone stated a couple posts above me.  Printing pics at Wallgreens costs pennies and then you can buy plain wood frames at Michaels' or a craft store (even a dollar store) and she can decorate them.   Home made lip balm is easy to make (again dollar store mini jars)  etc ...

DD and her Best friend do that too but this year DD used her own money to treat her friend which is fine by me.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 13, 2016 at 7:03 PM

Just say NO with a smile.  simple smile  There are her friends let her think of something she can make them but you stay out of it. 


xoch86
by Bronze Member on Dec. 13, 2016 at 8:10 PM
2 moms liked this

This. Tell her any gift you buy wouldnt be from her, so you won't be spending on her friends. Remind her that she does have an allowance, and that's fine for her to use.. but to remember that she only has x amount to buy all the gifts so she needs to figure out what's doable with her budget. 

Quoting Anonymous 2:

No....and it's not about discouraging a giving nature--it's about teaching financial responsibility. At 12 she should know what a budget is, that your family lives on a budget and that coming up with 40-50 dollars extra doesn't work unless you plan ahead. it's disappointing to not be able to give the gifts you'd like, but it's also a learning experience.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 15, 2016 at 7:11 AM
Geez! Learn to write! "Decorate a cute jar."

Quoting kewimom:

Have her make Sugar Body Scrub for her friends.  Decorate the jar cute.   There is a ton of recipes online and the ingredients are cheap or you may already have them in your kitchen.

Southern_Song
by Member on Dec. 15, 2016 at 3:48 PM
Yes. All my kids buy their friends gifts. Generally 3 friends each. About 20.00 per friend.
I've just always done it for them.
Southern_Song
by Member on Dec. 15, 2016 at 3:49 PM
2 moms liked this
While you're correct, was that really necessary?

Quoting Anonymous 4: Geez! Learn to write! "Decorate a cute jar."

Quoting kewimom:

Have her make Sugar Body Scrub for her friends.  Decorate the jar cute.   There is a ton of recipes online and the ingredients are cheap or you may already have them in your kitchen.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Dec. 15, 2016 at 6:21 PM
1 mom liked this
My dd goes "shopping" in her room lol Her paternal grandparents bought her some stuff for her birthday she didn't like because it wasn't her style. She thanked them for the gift, brought them home and is regifting those items to her friends. Such a smart cookie! Hopefully you can figure out a way to afford it! At least they weren't super expensive promises!
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