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Help me find a solution to our debate!!!!!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 13 Replies
I just need to vent.

My df and I live in a mobile home, it was gifted to us when we got engaged.
We have lived here for 4.5 years. We own it and only pay to rent the land its on which is super cheap.

Problem is it's starting to need a ton of repairs and its making it stressful to live here.

My df has little time that he's not working to fix anything so everything just piles up, and the time he does have off he refuses to do anything around the house. And the repairs are things i can not do.

I want to sell it as is, and rent a house for awhile until we have enough to buy a large family home.

He thinks this is ridiculous, because we would be spending more than double what we are now to rent and trying to save on the side, and i realize this but im sick of this mobile.

It is the only thing i cant stand about my life, that i have to live here even though i hate it. It makes me grumpy, because im home with our kids 14-16 hours a day in a place i despise.

So he told me instead of moving let's remodel it here and rip everything out and start fresh. But when i tried to make plans to do that; i want to take all the kitchen cabinets out and build new ones he said I'm not using money for that. And so, i said well lets start with the carpet in our bedroom and he said no, because the kids are still young and he doesnt want them to wreck new carpet.

So basically he has no intention on doing anything, and doesn't want me to use money to do anything either. I am fed up.

How would you handle this situation so both of us are happy?

I want to move and he wants to stay.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 13, 2017 at 11:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 13, 2017 at 11:45 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 14, 2017 at 2:03 AM

your DH needs to compromise before you leave him. Ask him what stuff is he willing to fix/remodel? I hope he has some idea. You can't live in a situation like that its only going to continue to make you unhapp. I hope someone else has an idea.

akhotmomma
by on Jan. 14, 2017 at 2:22 AM
You need to use YouTube and he needs to give you some money.

You need to use Craigslist to find cabinets, trim, stuff like that to make the most of what he is willing to spend.

What about laminate wood instead of carpet? It's easy to install, will last during their young years, and you can shop sales to find it on clearance. A mobile home shouldn't take much.

Trust me, DH is a contractor and with some instruction I could do most, if not all, of what he does.

We have gutted and even added additional bathrooms. I've done it side by side with him.

Is he willing to spend anything?

Do you have any friends or family to help?

I painted our whole house (last home) while DH was overseas. It made us both so happy.

I even changed light fixtures, super easy. When DH came back he started doing all these projects, it gave him the drive, seeing the changes I made.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 14, 2017 at 6:41 AM
Quoting Anonymous 2:

your DH needs to compromise before you leave him. Ask him what stuff is he willing to fix/remodel? I hope he has some idea. You can't live in a situation like that its only going to continue to make you unhapp. I hope someone else has an idea.



He said he doesnt want to replace floors because he is worried our kids will spill or ruin the new ones.
We need to repaint alot and he did our bedroom and did a poor job, because he was rushing and didn't care so it looks badly.
The one thing he said we xould replacr is the our tub and ironically is the one thing that im fine with.
happyolechimp
by Bronze Member on Jan. 14, 2017 at 7:26 AM
I wouldn't do repairs at the mobile home.
The cost of repairs would not increase it's value.
You need real property.
Sell that trailer as is.
Build equity in a house with property.
Good luck.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 14, 2017 at 11:21 AM

If you are working use some of that money to call a handy man to come fix stuff and pay for the renovations you want done.

mommytoeandb
by Bronze Member on Jan. 14, 2017 at 11:26 AM
My husband procrastinates with home repairs. Carpet got replaced with hardwood floors when I pitched an absolute fit. He promised to do it.

My take: You say you are going to do something, you do it ASAP.
His take: You say you are going to do something, you do it any time in the future.

It came down to me telling him that I took not doing it as lying to me.

Still waiting on my counters. 🙄
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 14, 2017 at 11:37 AM
An adult discussion seems beyond him but that's what is necessary. You guys need to discuss everything that must be done, then discuss everything g you'd like to do, then look at finances and compromise to come up with a plan you both agree to. But honestly, he's not your husband so if you want to fix up the place he has no say in what you do with your own money. So if you want it done, hire someone to have it done.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 14, 2017 at 11:38 AM

Find someone to do an inspection, have them point out that the trailer is unsafe for children, and itemize how much money it will cost, and how long it will take.

But personally, I would have made it a hill to die on, that we would be either on land we own or in a real house before babies arrived. You don't have anything of value, in a mobile home on a rented lot. You don't own the land, and a mobile home only depreciates over time.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 14, 2017 at 11:48 AM

Using YouTube is a great idea and I've done some projects myself since my husband was always away because of job related things.  It really empowers you in doing for yourself and if something would happen to him I wouldn't go out in looking for another man because I'm some helpless woman and do for myself.

Quoting akhotmomma: You need to use YouTube and he needs to give you some money. You need to use Craigslist to find cabinets, trim, stuff like that to make the most of what he is willing to spend. What about laminate wood instead of carpet? It's easy to install, will last during their young years, and you can shop sales to find it on clearance. A mobile home shouldn't take much. Trust me, DH is a contractor and with some instruction I could do most, if not all, of what he does. We have gutted and even added additional bathrooms. I've done it side by side with him. Is he willing to spend anything? Do you have any friends or family to help? I painted our whole house (last home) while DH was overseas. It made us both so happy. I even changed light fixtures, super easy. When DH came back he started doing all these projects, it gave him the drive, seeing the changes I made.


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