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Thinking of leaving

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies
So earlier today me and my husband had an argument and I told him if he didn't start respecting me or I would leave, he got hostile and told me to stop making threats and to just leave already. What do you guys think?
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 20, 2017 at 4:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Bronze Member on Mar. 20, 2017 at 4:51 PM
Do you love him ? Is your relationship worth fighting for ? Do you usually make threats about leaving ? Do you fight more often than not ? Woukd you be better off without him ?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 20, 2017 at 4:54 PM
Lately all we do is fight I don't know what wrong with him he has changed I left him in December but came back he hit one of the kids and I'm not ok with hitting but he has change since then and I do love him but I can only put up with so much all the fights are affecting the kids and I don't want that

Quoting lucky2Beeme: Do you love him ? Is your relationship worth fighting for ? Do you usually make threats about leaving ? Do you fight more often than not ? Woukd you be better off without him ?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 20, 2017 at 4:54 PM
Lately all we do is fight I don't know what wrong with him he has changed I left him in December but came back he hit one of the kids and I'm not ok with hitting but he has change since then and I do love him but I can only put up with so much all the fights are affecting the kids and I don't want that

Quoting lucky2Beeme: Do you love him ? Is your relationship worth fighting for ? Do you usually make threats about leaving ? Do you fight more often than not ? Woukd you be better off without him ?
lucky2Beeme
by Bronze Member on Mar. 20, 2017 at 4:56 PM
He hit one of your children ? Like spanked him ? How old is the child ?

Quoting Anonymous 1: Lately all we do is fight I don't know what wrong with him he has changed I left him in December but came back he hit one of the kids and I'm not ok with hitting but he has change since then and I do love him but I can only put up with so much all the fights are affecting the kids and I don't want that

Quoting lucky2Beeme: Do you love him ? Is your relationship worth fighting for ? Do you usually make threats about leaving ? Do you fight more often than not ? Woukd you be better off without him ?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 20, 2017 at 5:26 PM
He spanked him. My son is only 3. And when we had him we both agreed that we woul do time out no spanking. The reason he spanked him was dumb my son was just asking me to buy him a chocolate at check out and my husband was frustrated and took it out on our son he has never spanked him again.

Quoting lucky2Beeme: He hit one of your children ? Like spanked him ? How old is the child ?

Quoting Anonymous 1: Lately all we do is fight I don't know what wrong with him he has changed I left him in December but came back he hit one of the kids and I'm not ok with hitting but he has change since then and I do love him but I can only put up with so much all the fights are affecting the kids and I don't want that

Quoting lucky2Beeme: Do you love him ? Is your relationship worth fighting for ? Do you usually make threats about leaving ? Do you fight more often than not ? Woukd you be better off without him ?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 20, 2017 at 5:45 PM
1 mom liked this
In the boat next to you except I would make him leave! This is my house! These are my vehicles! I guess he will have to take an Uber to his Mama's house!
lucky2Beeme
by Bronze Member on Mar. 20, 2017 at 8:18 PM
Not cool ! I'm glad it only happened once. You need to have a real heart to heart .Dont point fingers . Keep your emotions out of it as best you can . State the things you would like to see changed. Ask him if he has any ideas of what both of you could do . Then Decide together what is best for everyone. Usually the fighting has nothing to do with what your fighting about . It's usually something else. I hope things work out the way you hope they will.

Quoting Anonymous 1: He spanked him. My son is only 3. And when we had him we both agreed that we woul do time out no spanking. The reason he spanked him was dumb my son was just asking me to buy him a chocolate at check out and my husband was frustrated and took it out on our son he has never spanked him again.

Quoting lucky2Beeme: He hit one of your children ? Like spanked him ? How old is the child ?

Quoting Anonymous 1: Lately all we do is fight I don't know what wrong with him he has changed I left him in December but came back he hit one of the kids and I'm not ok with hitting but he has change since then and I do love him but I can only put up with so much all the fights are affecting the kids and I don't want that

Quoting lucky2Beeme: Do you love him ? Is your relationship worth fighting for ? Do you usually make threats about leaving ? Do you fight more often than not ? Woukd you be better off without him ?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 20, 2017 at 10:03 PM

Problem is that you give in to your child wants and has gotten use to it.   Did your child create a tantrum at the check out stand and it's why he spanked him?

Quoting Anonymous 1: He spanked him. My son is only 3. And when we had him we both agreed that we woul do time out no spanking. The reason he spanked him was dumb my son was just asking me to buy him a chocolate at check out and my husband was frustrated and took it out on our son he has never spanked him again.
Quoting lucky2Beeme: He hit one of your children ? Like spanked him ? How old is the child ?
Quoting Anonymous 1: Lately all we do is fight I don't know what wrong with him he has changed I left him in December but came back he hit one of the kids and I'm not ok with hitting but he has change since then and I do love him but I can only put up with so much all the fights are affecting the kids and I don't want that
Quoting lucky2Beeme: Do you love him ? Is your relationship worth fighting for ? Do you usually make threats about leaving ? Do you fight more often than not ? Woukd you be better off without him ?


healingsoul
by Member on Mar. 20, 2017 at 10:45 PM
1 mom liked this

Marriage is a commitment that takes a lot of work from both people. You will have disagreements and yes, even arguments throughout your marriage, but hopefully you both will get better at communication with each other. If couples thought about leaving every time they got in an argument, no one would be married. However, you said he got hostile. Can you describe what this means? Did he curse at you? Did he raise his voice? What did he do? Marriages that make it long term have couples that learn to remove the "D" (divorce or even separation) threat from their conversations. 

You both need to learn to talk respectfully with each other. 

Your marriage could benefit from a few visits to a marriage counselor to have someone guide you through a healthy process of having disagreements and even arguments that don't end up destructive. No one usually likes conflict but it is part of humans relating to each other. We have to learn how to deal with our emotions, and sometimes we have to learn new patterns of solving problems. 

The issues you mentioned later about your child seems like your husband got irritated at the check out. While he didn't handle things the way you both planned, shopping with children (especially at the checkout) can be stressful and bring the worst out of us. It doesn't seem from your comments like he is a violent person. Even in this situation you need to be able to discuss it after when you are both calm to plan on how to diffuse these type of situations. 

 

Shai4710
by Silver Member on Mar. 21, 2017 at 12:08 PM

So leave. Evidently you've made the threat one time to many and he doesn't believe you. Just show him that you will. Our he doesn't fight for you to come back then you know that you've done the right thing. 

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