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Being asked if you're pregnant at work?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 19 Replies
When is it ever okay for an employer to ask if you're pregnant? I thought that was not allowed.
I am contracted to provide services for a business, and the supervisor randomly asked me "So how far along are you?" I ignored her. She then said "I'm going to guess 8 weeks". I said "I'm ignoring you, and walking away now".

Yes I am pregnant, but at that time my husband and I were the only ones that knew, and we had yet decided to tell anyone yet. Let alone anyone at work. How is that acceptable?
Posted by Anonymous on May. 26, 2017 at 7:40 AM
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Replies (1-10):
WickedOpal
by Bronze Member on May. 26, 2017 at 7:42 AM
2 moms liked this

Who the hell is this miracle worker that can tell you are PG at 8 weeks?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 26, 2017 at 7:51 AM
1 mom liked this
Right?!
Weeks before this happened, I went to her and
told her I had to avoid a chemical due to health reasons. Even if she thought hmm, you avoid things during pregnancy, that seems wrong to ask. It's supposed to be the individual's place to tell when they are ready.

Quoting WickedOpal:

Who the hell is this miracle worker that can tell you are PG at 8 weeks?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 26, 2017 at 10:51 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm not sure, honestly. I was in the Navy when I had my first child, and I was required to tell my chain of command within three weeks of confirming that I was pregnant. But those rules don't apply to civilian companies.
If you've already asked for accommodation, though (avoiding certain chemicals), you have already opened the door. The longer you go without telling your supervisor, the more you give her the idea that you do not trust her enough to let her know what is going on. She's going to have to accommodate you as your pregnancy progresses, and cover your duties for maternity leave, and the more notice she has, the easier that will be.
It's not the same as telling everyone you know or posting the news on social media.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 26, 2017 at 10:55 AM

I get that a lot as the 20-something newly-ish married lady in the office. They don't know know that we are TTC and every time I mention something that could be remotely construed to be pregnancy-related, they get all in a tizzy asking. It's super annoying.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 26, 2017 at 11:05 AM

What kind of company do you work for and what do you do?

You should look up company policy or ask human resources whether you are suppose to be diverging information on pregnancy matters.

Jinxed8
by Silver Member on May. 26, 2017 at 11:41 AM

my main question is why would you avoid the question ? Just come out right and say yes -  they can't fire you once you're pregnant because that would be discrimination.   When I got pregnant I pretty much told work right away so no matter what I did I knew I was "safe" until mat leave.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on May. 26, 2017 at 11:46 AM
Some people can just tell. I had someone ask me if I was expecting again while in a waiting room while my dh had back surgery (my youngest was with me too). At that time I had no idea myself that I was pregnant so denied it. Found out a couple days later that I am in fact pregnant and was already 7 weeks along.

Quoting WickedOpal:

Who the hell is this miracle worker that can tell you are PG at 8 weeks?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 26, 2017 at 5:32 PM
I've had miscarriages and some people choose to wait until after the first trimester. I work for myself, make my own schedule, and made arrangements so that nothing interfered with my ability to work. And she told two co workers that I was pregnant, so who needs social media when nosey people choose to gossip and put your business out there.

Quoting Anonymous 2: I'm not sure, honestly. I was in the Navy when I had my first child, and I was required to tell my chain of command within three weeks of confirming that I was pregnant. But those rules don't apply to civilian companies.

If you've already asked for accommodation, though (avoiding certain chemicals), you have already opened the door. The longer you go without telling your supervisor, the more you give her the idea that you do not trust her enough to let her know what is going on. She's going to have to accommodate you as your pregnancy progresses, and cover your duties for maternity leave, and the more notice she has, the easier that will be.

It's not the same as telling everyone you know or posting the news on social media.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 26, 2017 at 5:39 PM
If you work for yourself, where does the supervisor come in?
I get that it's personal choice to tell before week 14 or not, but my point was that if you start asking for accommodation, you are going to raise suspicion. And not telling anyone, erodes​ trust. Yes, it is your choice, but choices DO carry consequences.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I've had miscarriages and some people choose to wait until after the first trimester. I work for myself, make my own schedule, and made arrangements so that nothing interfered with my ability to work. And she told two co workers that I was pregnant, so who needs social media when nosey people choose to gossip and put your business out there.

Quoting Anonymous 2: I'm not sure, honestly. I was in the Navy when I had my first child, and I was required to tell my chain of command within three weeks of confirming that I was pregnant. But those rules don't apply to civilian companies.
If you've already asked for accommodation, though (avoiding certain chemicals), you have already opened the door. The longer you go without telling your supervisor, the more you give her the idea that you do not trust her enough to let her know what is going on. She's going to have to accommodate you as your pregnancy progresses, and cover your duties for maternity leave, and the more notice she has, the easier that will be.
It's not the same as telling everyone you know or posting the news on social media.
PinkButterfly66
by Silver Member on May. 26, 2017 at 6:59 PM

It's not allowed during interviews.  And it is illegal to fire you for being pregnant.

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